iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

Proliferating vile injustices atop my decrepit throne (doing a poop in the toilet)

🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 04/12/2025

TFW the Artist Killing Robot’s algorithm that’s studied you since stepping foot onto the internet is going to feed into your need to be perceived as an “old soul” by your peers:

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 24/09/2025

Grossest 7 word story ever: For Sale: Baby Diapers, Worn A LOT!

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

put an iPod Touch filled w all my favorite songs from 2008 into a blender with Açaí, Ashwagandha, Lion’s Mane, and Mountain Dew Livewire. The elixir concocted glows a pale ochre. I’ve been adding it to my dog’s water slowly every day until he can play an entire System of a Down album on my MicroKorg

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 09/08/2025

you’re in her dm’s. i’m riding shotgun in her dragula flying my hand out the window making airplane noises

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

I’m still waiting for a movie about a beach that makes you old, why is no one making that yet? the people are begging for it!

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

Lemme get this straight, you’re telling me a crab ran this goon?

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 26/04/2025

oh my god sorry guys i didn’t forget about you i’ve just been over at X(formerly Twitter)’s house doing an upper decker in their bathroom

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything? Yea, me neither :/

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 23/03/2025

“Old Pioneer Fort Reenactments Cancelled Due to Inclimate Weather” Fuck that, lemme get in one of those cabins show me how the boys kept warm in the cold season!

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

guy at bar to friends: “you guys ever see 127 days? about the rock climber?” dude i wish james franco got stuck that long

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 16/03/2025

Death Cab style song about how the Garbage Disposal isn’t accurately named that devolves into a list of things you shouldn’t put into the garbage disposal.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

every time i’m wearing a beanie customers think im me, and everytime im wearing a baseball cap they think im my coworker drew. feel like i have to wear a beanie every day now :/

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

my roommate got my dog a toy pig when i was at work. he paraded it around in front of me when i got home. my soul is healed.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 25/02/2025

My neighbor just knocked on my door to give me a giant ginger root. Very cute. My neighbor then texted me a recipe they loved that’s just corn and rice (cus they know i like to cook?)

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 25/02/2025

let’s be so for real… Bionicles gave boys unhealthy body expectations

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

is there a real way to depict police officers doing their jobs, in media, that doesn’t imply violence? (directing traffic with white gloves and a whistle isn’t real don’t fwm)

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

I’ve modded my metabolism to run on anywhere between one and four meals a day depending on barometric pressure. These changes are subtle at first but you really start to see the difference when I enter the ionosphere.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

i don’t have to use silly tricks to remember the difference between stalagmites and stalactites, my brain knows these things intrinsically

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

technofacists are using 5G theta-blockers to hack my sacral chakra until i contribute to the number of daily googles of: “are Sabrina Carpenter and John Carpenter Related?”

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

I’ve stunted most of the areas of deep neural stimulation that are not related to fight or flight. all my choices from now on will be based on the highest level of primal survival analysis via what i read in Zoobooks as a kid. I will treat every professional dilemma as an ibex would a snow leopard.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

remember back in 2008 when that man was pregnant, that shit would break our country today.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 17/02/2025

just saw a woman wearing a shirt that said “Punish Her” and it had the Punisher on it spanking a lady. people need to calm down.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

Moneyball… is that a movie about Lance Armstrong?

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

If they made The Customer being ‘always right’ into federal law, i’d be serving people until they drunk drive themselves to death on a daily basis… I’d also prolly be blowin’ a lot of dudes.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

“this is so crazy, what even are we? haha😜” - me at my dog

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

i don’t fill my mind palace with useless shit like facts and memories. these things don’t enthuse me. every room in my mind palace is brimming with concepts. thematic elements, motifs, and abstractions. the kinda raw metadata that would ignite even the largest databases in the world.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

i’m taking out a fifth mortgage on my soon to be condemned warehouse live/work synergy cathedral, and going on Maury to dispute the last 11 years of child support so that i can fund a podcast where i bring on people with CTE and force them to speedrun japanese dating sims.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

Okay so my day of slam poetry wasn’t a massive success like I had envisioned. I’ve failed you all.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

husker dü, husker dönt, like and tag three friends, i bet you husker wönt

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

Fiddler on the roof? I sure hope there wasn’t. In these streets a fiddle gets sold at a pawnshop for a bag of dust after gettin popped by your own cousin.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

these days we’ve become so involved with celebrities… and their divorces take me back to 2005… when dudes got rode by horses

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

today i will be only posting slam poetry one liners

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

Superbowl Sunday this, Travis and Taylor that. When was the last time you cleaned your haggard bath mat.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

I watch youtube food content and eat my silly little yogurt breakfast. I internalize the knowledge with zero plans to ever cook again. I think this granola is stale.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

Elon Musk: “Go get your own echo chamber, this one is mine!”

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

for the last week I’ve only listened to atmospheric black metal and Sufjan Stevens. I’m feelin’ fuckin cRaZy.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

You’re telling me Lou Bega was an Ugandan-Italian from Germany, and not a Cuban playboy from Miami. Shut the fuck up. Shut the absolute fuck up right now. MY CHILDHOOD WAS BUILT ON A MAMBO NUMBER LIE!!

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

To the suburban grandpa who just called my dog drop dead gorgeous: he’s a dude. now you’re gay.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

math rock panic at the disco cover band: i write SINs not triangles

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

JESÚS! oh fuck. you guys ever seen a spider? these things are no joke. leg leg leg leg leng leg lefg leg . too many leg

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

you’d think if they were gonna fake the moon landing they’d factor in a fight scene or something

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

just found out about photosynthesis. what the fuck. seriously what the fricken hell. whatn the fucking heck what. the fuckin whst.m don’t tell me that shits real

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

Noah’s Arc was absolutely teeming with bugs. You know that shit was just lousy with them. Noah’s dumbass brought two fleas and infested the whole planet w the things. despicable. dude hand selected all 850 species of tick and shuttled them to safety. god damnit. what a useless ponce.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

My one gripe about Bluesky? It’s that it insists upon itself. I will be not be taking questions at this time, only words of affirmation.

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

The most shameful moment as a dog owner is when your boy unclips his entire piss load at the beginning of a walk, then spends the whole rest of the walk shooting piss blanks into the void

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🌾 ė̵l̶i j mü̧i҉ŗ 🌾 @decafweed.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

my dog is a machine that turns other dogs poop into his poop

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