Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 17/09/2023(i'm sure columbus has nice things going for it, but your idiot doctors who thought my sober ass was going through alcohol withdrawal when i had BLOOD POISONING can get turbo-fucked now and forever.) 050
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 17/09/2023i'm not going to take a selfie because i split my forehead open this morning (fell asleep sitting up, hit corner of desk, looks worse than it is) but i'm somehow back in columbus oh, where i almost died in a shitty hospital last summer. fuck you, columbus! still alive! 150
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 05/09/2023shout out to the post for publishing the funniest possible jimmy buffett tribute piece, live from the margaritaville hotel in times square 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 03/09/2023you know, just in case you survive burning man and decide you'd rather freeze to death while "primitive forest camping" in lafayette ny 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 01/09/2023nebraska athletics surfed that wave of success for a full 26 hours, respect 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 30/08/2023"37 percent were concerned that vaccines could cause “cognitive issues” in dogs and may lead them to develop autism." have these people ever fucking MET a dogthehill.comMajority of US dog owners now skeptical of vaccines, including for rabies: studyA new study found that dog owners in the U.S. are growing more skeptical of vaccinating their four-legged friends — including to help prevent rabies. The study, published Saturday in the medical jo�... 251
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 29/08/2023hello from the new york state fair, where i just witnessed a pink-haired teen in a battle jacket that read PURE HELL arguing with her parents about how much fried dough to buy 2142
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 17/08/2023why does this dude insist on calling it "the work" like he's a member of dipset 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 09/08/2023real heads know that this is 79 cents worth of pure happiness 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 06/08/2023(and yet, thanks to that "mma rules" debacle, not even close to the worst thing on that lame show) 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 06/08/2023does jey uso not have any friends? could he not have been sitting there in the babyface locker room going "hey my brother and my other brother are probably going to fuck me in this match, ask me how i know"? just awful, predictable, contrived horseshit 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 31/07/2023Being 40 means that I was the exact right age to love Pee-Wee Herman, and not old enough to really understand the controversy around his arrest at all. Growing up and learning more, I rooted for the guy every chance I got. One of the all-time great comic actors. RIP. 030
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 30/07/2023The only thing that could have possibly topped that match was Derrick Lewis' interview. "I just thought I'd throw some bullshit and see if it lands." All-time classic. 020
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 29/07/2023one fun thing about the SAC-era mets is that they combine the worst aspects of baseball with the worst aspects of hedge funds, and yet it's still better than the wilpon-era mets 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 26/07/2023RIP sinéad, one of the realest ever www.vulture.com/article/sinead-ocon… 030
Reposted by Daniel CohenTimothy Burke @bubbaprog.xyz · 22/07/2023For months I've waited for my story to be public. Today, my attorneys filed a Rule 41(g) demanding the return of everything seized. I'm grateful for their weeks of hard work (for which, of course, I will be paying for a long time). So read it, please! timburkelegalfund.org/MOTION.pdf 21304129
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 21/07/2023also, as an actual swear-to-god disabled person, nothing boils my oxygen-starved blood more than the weaponization of disability as a rhetorical cudgel. real ableism is systemic, passive, pervasive, thoughtless. it's not "people on the internet calling me on my shit." ask me how i know! 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 21/07/2023listen up losers NFTs are about FUN and COMMUNITY and ART and also i paid $73,000 for this gif of brent barry winning the 1996 slam dunk contest but it's a blue diamond platinum edition so it'll definitely hold value for years to come 011
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 20/07/2023*wife sees visa charge for MATUREPUMPERS.COM* haha honey i can explain! the internet told me that my support didn't count as praxis unless i gave them money. besides - these are MATURE pumpers! 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 15/07/2023one thing about twitter is that there's absolutely no way of knowing whether cheech and chong's gummies are now 100% legal 071
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 13/07/2023i will never give up my paper new yorker subscription, purely because i notice shit like this letter that i would never bother to read if i went digital-only 1262
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 11/07/2023to be able to touch the hem of a minnesota state fair food vendor's garmentracketmn.comNew 2023 MN State Fair Food: Predicting the Winners and Losers - RacketLet's get all Mel Kiper on the Fair's 34 new food concoctions. 110
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 11/07/2023All it took was an iron infusion and 20,000 units of EPO and I almost feel like a functioning human again. PEDs are great and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 09/07/2023relatedly, one weird thing they don't tell you about kidney failure is that the whole not pissing thing is easily the least annoying part of the disease 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 09/07/2023update: surprise! i just got winded taking the trash out, the old anemia is back in full force 030
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 06/07/2023What everyone seems to forget about Twitter is that it started off as an efficient way to find coke and free Four Loko at SXSW, and THEN Shaq joined. 020
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 06/07/2023"grandpa, tell us about the great friendster/orkut wars of 2003" 140
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 06/07/2023glad to hear garyvee is focused as fuck, i was getting worried about the guy 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 06/07/2023"but where are the BRANDS?" i screamed, only for relief to wash over me like a refreshing wave of bang energy drink when i logged into threads 030
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 05/07/2023normally when i crave a big cup of ice to munch it's a warning sign that my hemoglobin level is plummeting and i might need another blood transfusion, but today i'm simply munching ice because it's Too Damn Hot 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 04/07/2023"haha, i'll show THEM!" *immediately fails to show them* 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 03/07/2023You're going to make yourself very unpopular on Tout. 110
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 02/07/2023Rick Froberg's name in the credits, even if it was just for the art, was a solid guarantee that a record was going to whip ass. RIP king.youtu.beHot Snakes - XOXSuicide Invoice (Repress Release Date: January 19, 2018) Sub Pop Mega Mart https://megamart.subpop.com/releases/hot_snakes/suicide_invoiceHot SnakesFacebook:... 0307
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 01/07/2023We were perhaps a bit hasty to anoint Elon as some modern hybrid of Edison and Willy Wonka, but I fucking guarantee you the Oompa Loompa CTO paid their AWS bill on time every month. 050
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 01/07/2023Twitter is a lot like my local mall right now: it's on a long slow decline, the food court is full of sketchy lurkers, and pretty soon it'll just be Woj in a little kiosk selling cell phone cases and Danilo Gallinari trade rumors. 030
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 24/06/2023Imagine a hot dog so delicious you decide to join a paramilitary group run by the dude who fished it out of the water. 120
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 18/06/2023This was such a great era of misplaced enthusiasm about dumb new OS features. "Dashboard widgets! Think of all the amazing things you can do with those!" 010
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 10/06/2023RIP Ted Kaczynski. One time I called my AL keeper league team "The Kubel-Headed Logicians" and people got mad at me. 000
Daniel Cohen @dcohen.bsky.social · 09/06/2023Week in review: Did BABY GRONK DAD leak classified intel to NYT?... 'Drip King' responds to felony charges with SCATHING REBUKE: 'Livvy RIZZED UP Dem-appointed prosecutor'... Baby Diggs REFUSES to comment on shower pix... 020
