iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

holidays are over. So I guess at least I won't have to worry about being alone in the house with creepy housemate... This is honestly the worst Christmas of our lives

010

to find himself a wife he can love and spoil. As much as it hurts we'll know he'll be okay and happy and that's honestly a huge comfort in all of this. Afterwards it sounds like we'll both be moving into my partner's parent's house and worry about decontaminating our things after the-

as they can be. As for Spooky we've contacted a really nice pigeon rescue that will be able to pick him tomorrow. They lady who runs it seems very nice and is excited to introduce him to her girl who's she's been trying to find a mate for. There's nothing in the world Spooky would love more than-

we're going to be saying goodbye to our precious little feathery daughter who has brought so much joy and love into our lives. We're going to do everything we can to ensure that her last night with us is as happy and comfortable as possible. We want her last moments with us to be as perfect-

actively failing we're not sure there's much we could do anyway with the last few weeks we have with her. Her vet said it's the kindest and most humane thing to do in this situation so tomorrow morning, if she manages to make it through the night-

us in first thing tomorrow when they open. We've made the indescribably heart breaking and difficult decision to put her to sleep. Her vet agreed that with her health and severe separation anxiety that rehoming would be far too traumatic on her and only make her health worse. And if her liver is-

from the blood test just keeps getting worse and worse and the skin around her eyes keeps turning a bit yellow and then going back to normal and she's refusing water and barely eating. We're pretty sure and her vet is sure that her liver is failing. They couldn't get us in today but they'll squeeze-

100

By about 9am she seemed to be perking up again. Her coos were stronger and she was moving around more but she also tired out quickly. She was eating and drinking a bit which was good but by about the afternoon she started going downhill again. Right now she's very tired, the bruise on her leg-

was hardly moving, barely able to snuggle, I had to use a syringe to drip water onto the tip of her beak just to get some fluids in her and she only managed to eat a few seeds. over the course of the whole night. We honestly didn't think she was going to make it to morning-

seemed to just slowly but steadily go downhill. She was just so tired, she could barely coo when normally she's so loud, barely eating or drinking, and she wasn't even trying to get out of her cage to get to me which is VERY out of character as she has bad separation anxiety. By about 11 she-

Another update and a not-so-happy one. Yesterday Vienna had a vet appointment to get a blood test to check her liver health as she's been having issues for a little while now. After he blood test she was a little woozy like normal but perked up after a little while. But a few hours later she-

ontop of everything else I'm dealing with. Hopefully my partner will be okay without me there to comfort him. His mom is sympathetic to what's happening and how much this is hurting him but his dad... less so. I'm worried how he'll go without me. I'm worried how I'll go without him...

010

I'll keep updating when there's more news. Or when I feel like I need to vent into the void to feel less alone and sort my thoughts, which may be often idk. Hopefully creepy housemate leaves me alone so I can just focus on my family and no have to worry about being sexually harassed or worse-

favorite family activity and I think my partner really needs this too. It'll be a good way for him to say what may be his final goodbyes to them before he moves out. And honestly I don't think I could stop him from doing this even if I tried. He loves our babies so much...

For now my partner and I are just going to cherish the time we have left as a family. I think tonight we're going to take Vienna on one last drive to look at Christmas lights (she loves car rides and Christmas lights) and then we'll all snuggle up in bed and watch some tv together. It's the bird's-

and finding himself a wife and socializing with other pigeons. We'd always hoped that in a couple years we'd be able to get a place of our own and build an aviary and get him some friends but that may not be an option anymore. It hurts but I know our strong, sweet, independent boy would be okay-

kills me I know he'd handle it a lot better than Vienna would. While he loves spending time with us, playing and getting scritches and napping beside us, he's not as bonded to us as Vienna is. We've been thinking for a while now that he would honestly benefit a lot from being in a larger flock-

able to spend that time as happy and comfortable as possible ESPECIALLY if her liver is failing. Whatever time she and I have left together should be spent making her feel as happy and loved as possible. Spooky on the other hand I'm less worried about. Even though the thought of giving him up-

stress of being apart from us. And 2) if my partner IS allergic to birds we don't want her last few weeks with me to be spent apart, potentially in an outdoor aviary where she wouldn't be properly cared for, during the peak of summer, stressed, upset, scared, and confused. We'd want her to be-

summer, and having minimal contact. so she wouldn't be getting the care she needs. Like this bird has lived indoors with aircon for the last five years and she's got a physcial disability, she can't just be thrown outside in 40+ degree heat with all her other health stuff going on top of all the-

her out for the day. We debated whether we should do a trial run and have someone else hold onto her for a little while but 1) she's an indoor bird with disabilities and high needs and the only people who can take her would be keeping her outside, in an aviary or cage, at the peak of Australian-

room. We've been working with her vet for a while to try to manage it but there's only so much we can do with our current living situation. I'm trying to have faith that she'd be okay eventually and be strong enough to move on but I've also seen her hurt herself trying to get to me before I let-

is even an option or if it would just do more harm than good. As it is she doesn't cope well even just being a few feet away from me in her cage. Her little chest is always bruised from trying to force her way between the bars or from throwing her weight against doors to get to me if I leave the-

so we can know if she was just a little sick last month, if she has a chronic issue and will need meds for the rest of her life, or if she's in the early stages of liver failure. We'll also need to discuss her separation anxiety and ask if pigeons are the allergen whether or not rehoming her-

decontaminate everything in our storage so we can start moving our things into it. And then we'll have to start decontaminating everything in our room so it can be stored/moved to his parent's. As for our birds our baby girl, Vienna, has a vet app later today to get bloodwork done for her liver-

him in ASAP once they open again after new years. Bad news is they're worried enough to get him in ASAP. He might be spending a couple weeks in hospital while they isolate him from any allergens and do their tests. While all of that is happening I'm going to have to recruit whoever I can to help-

Small-ish update: Partner is moving out sometime between Sunday and Christmas Eve. His mom is trying to find a place for me and the birds to go until he can get an allergy test but for now it's looking like I'll have to stay in our rental. Good news is the lung specialist is going to try to get-

Our beloved little birds, Vienna and Spooky ❤️

032

I'll share updates as they come. I don't think many people will see this or be biting their nails waiting for news but even just typing everything out like this helps a little. Please keep our family, especially my partner and our baby girl Vienna, in your thoughts

until we get that blood allergy test done and he talks to the lung specialist. And with it being the holidays and places closing until after new years in a few days there's no telling how long that will take. It may be months before he can even get an appointment with the specialist at all...-

I'm sorry for any commission delays this causes. My family is terrified and beyond heart broken at this news and it's going to be very, VERY rough as we work through it both physically and emotionally. I can't give an exact timeline as to when life will start to be normal again-

tattoos of Vienna's foot prints on our ankles we've always talked about. Just so no matter what, she's always there standing between us even if we have to let her go. And Spooky's foot prints on our shoulders so he can always be our little foreman overseeing whatever we're doing

I might still work on art every so often but right now I can't promise it'll be work related. It might, it might not. But it may be a good way to pass the time while I'm alone so we'll see. Maybe my grief will get the best of my and I'll go a bit manic and take on comms so we can get the matching-

lots and lots of crying by myself and missing my partner who can't be here at home with his family, and just waiting and hoping we get solid answers as soon as possible so I know if I have to start prepping the kids to be rehomed or not. That's the worst part. The waiting and not knowing

This is getting long so I'm just going to say that I may not be as active of discord and whatnot for a little while. A lot of my time is going to be spent making our birds as happy as possible for as long as I still have them, deep cleaning our room and all our belongings as best as I can,-

I don't know how we'll cope if it's the birds... I don't know who I am without my birds. I have no reason to get out of bed in the morning without them. No reason to keep myself healthy because they won't be here to need me. No reason to look forward to coming home. It'll be so empty without them

This is honestly one of the worst moments of my life. Which is saying a lot cause it's been mostly shit from the very start. I've been crying so hard that I've burst blood vessels in my face. I didn't even know that could happen

I'll be stuck here at our rental by myself with our housemate who clearly has a thing for me and keeps overstepping, crossing boundaries, and being weird to me. I don't feel safe here alone. He'll be at his parents with their constant criticism and judgements while he's already at his lowest-

spending the holidays alone with the birds and he won't be able to see us for his own safety. And BECAUSE of the holidays it's going to take even more time for him to get this blood test and talk to the lung specialist so we have no idea if we'll be apart for days, weeks, or months

Worst still is that while my partner is living with his parents we'll have to have very limited contact. I'll still be covered in bird dust and we can't risk making his condition worse so we can't even be there for or comfort each other through this. I'll probably be-

but I'm in just as much pain over the birds as he is, maybe more. Vienna is my best friend. She's always been attached at my hip and we're never apart. She loves me as much as I love her. She's my soul-bird and I can't imagine just giving her up like this but I also won't lose my partner either-

The what-ifs, the fear, the grief, the anger... All of it is taking it's toll. My partner is devastated and desperately trying to bargain with the universe to find a way to keep the birds even though it could cost his life and I'm trying so hard to be strong and be the voice of reason-

She might also have chronic liver issues and need meds the rest of her life or be in the early stages of liver failure (We'll find that out in a few days after her vet app tomorrow) and the thought of having to give her up while her liver is failing kills me. How could I do that to her?-

The worst part is that Vienna has disabilities and chronic health issues herself. She can't live in an aviary with other birds because she struggles to stand up for herself, she needs to be a house pet. But who's going to want a disabled bird who needs multiple vet visits a year in this economy?-

It's highly likely that in the coming weeks we'll have to rehome our beloved birds. It's hitting us extremely hard. We can't have kids of our own so they were the closest we'd ever get. We had dreams of someday opening our own pigeon rescue in honor of our baby girl, Vienna-

We're hoping it's dust from his work or maybe mold but it's doubtful since the most common cause of this is dust from bird droppings. Still we want to know for sure... If it's left untreated it will eventually develop into a lung disease with 100% mortality rate without a lung transplant-

Got some of the worst news we could yesterday. Partner got diagnosed with a lung condition and it's very likely caused by our pet pigeons. He'll most likely be moving back in with his parents this weekend while he starts treatment and gets a blood test to know for absolute certain it's the birds-