iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Sadly, I may have to retire my favorite coffee mug. These cracks have multiplied, and now my beverage is giving me, "I'm tired, boss."

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

President Xi gifted us pandas?! WTF? Other countries should know America is not responsible enough to take care of living things right now. It's like giving a shelter kitten to a young Jeffrey Dahmer.

020

Reposted by Dan Schwab

Brian Jay Jones @brianjayjones.com · 24/09/2026

Jim Henson would have been 90 (yup, you read that right: NINETY) years old today. You can celebrate his life by celebrating creativity, diversity, peace, imagination, and silliness.

A tuxedoed Jim Henson sits in a sea of Muppets.

212437965

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I'm just sayin'... Jim Henson's studio could crank out a Mitch McConnell in 2 days, and most of that is latex drying time.

020

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Andy Rooney was the original short-form media commentator with his very own "tik-tik-tik." #iykyk

001

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I won't just say folks are getting more inattentive, but I will say I'm glad we don't have as many open wells as we did in the 80s.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I can't believe some washing machines have an A.I. setting. So now when a sock goes missing, my washer can apologize, give no human reason, then tell me I'll get through this adversity and will become a stronger person due to this tragedy.

121

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Trump didn't dye his hair. He's just so full of shit, it had nowhere else to go.

020

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Around the corner from Fudge Town, Lemon Punch is made...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

This Sunday morning doodle is based on an illustration and song I did on a piece of poster board way back when the first Spider-Man movie was released.

100

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Drew something last night...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

If Mitch McConnell isn't dead, then who's on my Ouija board complaining that the Supreme Court is still way too liberal?

020

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I just realized we are no longer Earth Prime. We're the alt universe that the team from "Sliders" will visit and quickly realize we are not normal America...

100

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I'm thinking right now Trump is preparing for tonight's national address by asking his team if they can get a hologram of Lindsey Graham programmed to say if the dumocrats don't pass the SAVE Act, his soul is going to burn in Hell. (Like THAT wasn't a foregone possibility...)

001

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Caught this sign on some YouTube footage, and I feel that the aggressive use of apostrophes will be bothering me for at least the next few hours...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Wait, Lindsey Graham was a SENATOR?! This whole time. I just assumed he was a GOP novelty cartoon mascot. Like the Geico gecko. Or that toenail fungus monster. More like the second example. Didn't really need the first.

010

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Then: "I used to be able to buy a steak for a dollar." Now: "I used to be able to buy a burger for 5 dollars."

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

To any architects of future data centers... might I suggest the addition of a thermal exhaust port? Doesn't need to be any bigger than a womp rat. Thx.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

So weird that the party that perfected the carny mentality can't even pull off a decent carnival.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

Now that Elon has a trillion dollars, let's all agree never to sell him anything.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

Moments after this, it made a post on Truth Social about how Taylor Swift isn't even hot.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

I'm thinking if the UFC match gets canceled, maybe Trump'll book a monster truck to crush the Resolute Desk.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

Sometimes when I have a question nagging at me, I try not to immediately reach for my phone and proceed to work it out on my own...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

"Hey... working hard, or do workplace boners no longer plague you?" That's the saying, right?

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

I dunno... I hope the peelers don't look too much like knives. I was doodling from memory...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

My primary reason for not turning to a life of crime is the thought of openly pooping in a prison is terrifying.

120

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

I'll assume Trump is in Wisconsin to tell the farmers how great data centers will look on their land.

040

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

How long do you think it will be until Trump's hand makeup artist is recruited to paint eyeballs on sleepy Trump's eyelids? (Sorry. I can't tell if my editing adjustment made him more creepy or somehow less so.)

120

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

I'm willing to bet those new Trump phones don't broadcast Amber Alerts AS AN ADDED FEATURE.

010

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

How competent can an administration be if they can't even book Milli Vanilli correctly? Or have the need to book them at all?

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

People ask "How can anyone still root for Trump?" And I'm like, "For the same reason G.G. Allin had fans." 💩

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I say, after Trump's reign, if that arch in D.C. is built, and it's too expensive to demolish, it is renamed the "E. Jean Carroll arch". More specifically, the "E. Jean Carroll Says Trump Has a Tiny Dick Arch."

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

Do they still give guided tours of the White House? I'd imagine it's weird to take your family there. Like a family outing to an Olive Garden location that was recently turned into a strip club/shooting range.

020

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

Stephen Colbert's guest hosting Monroe, Michigan's local news from last night was surreal, and I have been trying to wrangle the best way to describe this piece of absolute art. All I came up with is that he pulled a Marvel Movie end credits bonus scene.

132

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

Much like the final moments of a concert where the band has yet to play its signature hit, when it leaves you thinking "They have to play the hit, right? They can't possibly just overlook their past like this, right?"

100

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

That time I rode a dinosaur down south to Florida, but stopped at S.O.B. for unfamiliar colas and novelty items whose humor would not age well in a progressive society.

010

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

I usually leave my laundry on the bed just so Artie can climb on and through it. That's what I'm telling folks anyway...

010

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

Here's a picture of me in 1992 getting stepped on by the government. Okay, it isn't the govt. It's just the giant toddler from "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid." But, speaking of the government and giant toddlers...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

My theory is that years ago, I didn't realize I was holding a magical talisman while I was reading the newspaper and spoke aloud, "Boy, I wish the news weren't so boring all the time!" I may be trapped in a 90s Jim Carrey movie.

010

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

THIS, people.... THIS is what f*cking happens when a government has tossed rule & common sense out the window. There are no more guardrails, folks. We are all doomed and it starts RIGHT HERE with a tall glass of pizza...

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

"Abortion Water" sounds like a Plan B-infused hard seltzer advertised by Joe Rogan.

043

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Press 6-7 and summon a swarm of Youngling Demons.

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Wait... Spirit Airlines has folded? But they're the only ones who accepted my Marlboro Miles!

000

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

I finally came up with a title for this. It's called, "Hey there, sailor... We saw you from across the harbor..."

1164

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

I opened up the fridge and the Mayo yelled, "Shut the door! I'm DRESSING!" And the mushrooms said, "You shouldn't pick wild mushrooms!"

120

Dan Schwab @danschwab.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

I'm just saying this feels reminiscent of Victorian times when they would take a posed family photo with the recently departed.

252