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Dan Kennedy ExNYC

@dankennedyny.bsky.social
587 followers 45 following 26 posts

Developed/hosted The Moth Podcast, Story Consultant on "True Story w/ Ed and Randall” on Peacock, 3 books, GQ, McSweeneys, Screenwriting work at Paramount/Amblin/F/X. Los Angeles. linktr.ee/dan_kennedy

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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
I wrote this for a laugh and love these guys ❤️⚡️ www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gen...
mcsweeneys.net
Gen-X Man Attends Oasis Reunion Concert
So, I’m the same age as Noel and Liam. And they’ll make $50 million each by the end of the tour. Goddammit, I don’t have enough saved. Nowhere near...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
I wrote these for @mcsweeneys.net in case you need a day off. Let me know how they go over if you use one! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/cop...
mcsweeneys.net
Copy and Paste Any of These Out-of-Office Replies for Your Personal Use
I am out of the office today and Friday to solve every existential quandary I’ve been putting off arguably since 2023 when, as far as I can tell, I...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 03/01/2025
I’m sorry but this was a golden age, even if only in my brain: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/obs...
mcsweeneys.net
Obsolete Chain Restaurant Mascots
Gerk Jervis Gerk Jervis was the mascot of Pancake Tramp locations across America. An animated chef with one eye, he shook when he wasn’t drinking ...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
I e been thinking about it and I know it’s happening somewhere: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hol...
mcsweeneys.net
Holy Christ, It’s Snowing!
Holy Christ, it’s snowing! Fuck, exactly what we never anticipated—not in this gray and frozen month. Martians or race riots, sure, but look outsid...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 11/11/2024
Enjoy this laugh from the relative innocence of three weeks ago: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...
mcsweeneys.net
If Jack Kerouac Tried to Write On the Road Now
I first met Dean after my wife and I had split up—dude, why is everyone freaking out, it was just a small earthquake. We get it. Move on. Look at e...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 04/09/2024
Someone here should adapt for television this thing I wrote 3 years ago. Thank you in advance. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tra...
mcsweeneys.net
Tragedians in Cars Getting Coffee
1. JERRY SEINFELD: This is a 1995 Land Rover Defender, and everything about it says adventure. Which is perfect, because today I’m getting coffee w...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 03/09/2024
WWe watched 48 Hours again last night and I remembered why I wrote this: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-1...
mcsweeneys.net
A 1985 Action Movie Hero Brings Way Too Much Heat and Weird Slang to His Scenes
1. LIEUTENANT DAVIDSON: We got another call about that bar down on 3rd Street. HERO: AW, COME ON! What the conk, Lieutenant! Johnson’s out there th...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 03/09/2024
It's been a minute since I wrote this, but I still think I could emotionally manipulate my way to a baking victory. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wha...
mcsweeneys.net
What I’d Say to Paul Hollywood If I Were on The Great British Bake Off
“Sorry you feel the cake I made is a bit dry, Paul. It was meant to commemorate the life of my best friend from childhood. He died when we were ten...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 03/09/2024
Me? Doctor. Script doctor, but still... www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ive...
mcsweeneys.net
I’ve Made Small Tweaks to Three Scenes in Your Sitcom
BEDROOM EXIT/INTO LIVING ROOM HER: Would you mind telling me where you’ve hidden my shoes? HER SISTER: What? Moi? I did nothing. No clue what shoes...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 02/08/2024
In which I am not myself www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-...
mcsweeneys.net
My Recent Interview to Simply Rent a Small House in Los Angeles for Six Months
THEM: Are you the Dan Kennedy who has written all about how to make millions of dollars? You sell a program of some sort to people and say they can...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 02/08/2024
Star www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...
mcsweeneys.net
If I Had Been in the 1991 Movie Point Break Instead of Keanu Reeves
GARY BUSEY: They’ve robbed twenty-six banks in three years. And all we know about them is one thing: They’re surfers. You need to learn to surf, in...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 02/08/2024
Showbiz www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pit...
mcsweeneys.net
Pitching PBS My Refreshingly Violent Twist on Antiques Roadshow
This is not how I pictured your offices. I always imagine you guys sitting around a big wooden table having tea, and there’s a lake outside. That d...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 15/10/2023
My continued apologies for what I write about at McSweeney’s. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/let...
mcsweeneys.net
Let’s Sell Your Basic House for More Than a Million Goddamn Dollars
Folks, I’ve got three questions for you… What do you mean “how did I get in here”? I’ll ask the questions, sir. I opened the door. But I didn’t op...
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Dan Kennedy ExNYC @dankennedyny.bsky.social · 02/07/2023
Now that we’re all getting our lives together I thought I’d share my system here: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-fuc…
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