Sign in

Dan Jordan

@danjordan.bsky.social
416 followers 434 following 2.8K posts

Engineer · Game dev · Musician · Writer · Wiseass Formerly at Red 5 Studios and Disruptor Beam Creator of Urban Flight, a custom campaign for L4D2 that's so old that it's actually embarrassing that I put it in my bio.

PostsRepliesMedia
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 3h
When uou think about it, it's spelunky 3d for the contestant and spelunky 2d for the audience
020
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 3h
[meeting a gay couple] which of you is frog and which is toad
041
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 10h
Dishonored fully converted me to C for crouch and F for interact
120
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 10h
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
they got my ass
Amazon's new About You feature alleges that I prioritize "premium imported condiments," which will never hold up in a court of law.
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Dan Diego is the name of my texmex restaurant chain
030
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Don't you idiots get it? The yellow cat MUST be in the first column!
100
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Wrestling Restraint
ALT: Wrestling Restraint
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Groaning in frustration and deleting my old prototype for Space Corridor
1397
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I find visual scripting physically painful for normal logic, particularly when it requires a dozen nodes for what is essentially a single line of cod, but I quite like shader graph and substance designer for being able to easily see the state of things at any point in the graph.
100
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
the dust bunnies in our home have unionized
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
"Before I commit my work, let me see if I can refactor it into something better" -- me, about to ruin my own life
250
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I'll take a burroito
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I've elected to relocate my amassment of couch socks somewhere more palatable
110
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
nepotism
050
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Neil and it's not even close
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
You know what? Sure, AI is sentient. It has consciousness and feelings. That means you're all slavers and headed to the gallows and then hell
070
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Me: the cases for the extended editions of the three LotR movies are green, red, and blue. But the soundtracks are red, blue, and green Wendy's Cashier: that fuckin sucks
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Me: i like the pile of skulls on our doorstep Wife: impulse 102
030
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Unlaunched Games
120
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The alt text starting with "Okay bear with me" always kills me
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Me: sorry I was late for the meeting. I did a big poop and had to unclog the toilet Former United States President Barack Obama: golly
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
These could very well be my greatest homefries
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I can't be the only one who thought Newt Gingrich was already dead
120
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I am putting out a $10,000 hit on Liberty Biberty
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Ive messed around with DreamUV in Blender and its very cool but painful to set up for a new mesh and thus does not scale well
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
might try and throw together a tool for automatically applying hotspot uvs to a mesh, thus condemning myself to Unity Madness
100
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
but was it the same manager?
100
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I just kind of feel like if you say that being evil is good, you've failed every basic semantic and philosophical test so severely that you should be hogtied and left in the Nunavut tundra
143
Reposted by Dan Jordan
Ranged Touch @rangedtouch.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
On a cube in the sky there died an Anti-Hobbit.
414728
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
as opposed to a hobbyist assassin
130
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Being a professional assassin is tricky because they keep giving me headshots of my targets but I'm lowkey faceblind
360
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
man what the fuck
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
one shot, fast burn, strangers to enemies
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Utter contempt for people who arent listening to the true #1 song in america: Flying Battery Zone, Act 1
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
going back to bed (spiritually)
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I tried to put together a tool for baking an ambient occlusion map for a given mesh in-editor using Unity's scene light map baker... and succeeded in blowing away hours and hours of level design work
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It's like the old saying: those who don't study history are fine. Completely fine.
090
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We have reinvented "the protagonist" from first principles
081
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Interview tip: Leave the iced coffee and bring a giant hourglass
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
They throw themselves at so many things
020
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Remember this device" options that don't actually work should be punishable by death
030
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
On the flip side, my kids often let me know when we're Doing It Wrong, such as if we mistakenly cook burgers despite not having lettuce on hand
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I'm pretty sure my parents actually had their shit fully together and everything was as stable and planned as it appeared lol
210
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
changing my clothes for the usual reason (slathered in ketchup)
000
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The Rock is a genuinely good movie, marred only by Nicholas Cage chewing scenery
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the most efficient meal would be a nutrient-rich concrete that fills your stomach and breaks down over 100 years
062
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I don't know how to explain that this chorus is too good for the rest of the song
010
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Heinz Xbox
011
Dan Jordan @danjordan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Never once in my career have I followed the setup guide for an app/repo and had it work without issue
020