Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Come to these shows and throw old fruit rinds at me so the gulls can snatch me up and carry me to a place where virtues are rewarded and evil gets eliminated via love. I'll be the guy with the mustache. 140
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I ran into a rowdy punk rocker who loved to read. We had a short disagreement about the Goosebumps series and I'd like to take this moment to say I'm sorry, you were right and I was wrong. 031
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Your comedy club ticket could also be used later at a strip club 040
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Every time I bring up the word "island" the audience reacts oddly. Truly that creep Jeffrey Epstein ruined it for everyone. 060
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Join me on a tour of the Gerald Ford presidential museum in Grand Rapids, Michigan. One of the joys of being a comedian on the road is getting the opportunity to see such magical places 260
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Is your college campus near native burial grounds? If so I have an idea to help your school's football team win the big game 030
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 10/09/2026A joke about how folks don't much care for capitalism these days. Send this to your boss and quit your job. 010
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Some fun doofing and dancing to start the show at a former church with an onstage drummer. Hope you enjoy watching this clip as much as I did making it both in the moment and also later on my laptop computer! March 2024 020
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Grill AND chill?! Corporate monopolies have gone too far 080
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 11/05/2026Cross dressing? You mean like a cloth around the waist and a crown of thorns? 2293
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 06/05/2026I made this the last time this trend was popular 7 years ago. I don't even think Motley Crue is on tour right now, and if they are... well.. you know what to do. 0120
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 20/04/2026How about the beck dell test and it's beck trying to learn how to use a pc Writing word docs, using Excel, organizing files He's proving he knows how to do all of that 1110
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 28/03/2026Minnesota by the dandy warhols iso whack like what's the point? The novelty of living in the Midwest? GG I fuck urself 150
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 27/03/2026Lincoln NE taska Sunday oh wait I messed up but I bet y'all can still guess what that was supposed to be right? 020
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 21/03/2026All other comics selfishly go where the crowds are I however selflessly go to where the comedy isn't! 0132
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 21/03/2026I dated a lady in Oklahoma and i'd imagine a world where I would carpetbag my way out to the plains and become the new great american buffalo icon, roaming the prairies, letting folks feast on me while I lived a simple life eating stuff off the ground and arguing with people about Leon Russel. Sundy 061
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 16/03/2026Little Rock! I'm bringing you joy and fun. Come make this show even more successful than the Evanescence show in 1999 where they debuted Bring Me To Life. 011
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 11/03/2026If i wasted time making it you can waste time watching it! 060
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 10/03/2026I forgot this app existed..hope y'all like chest hair 180
Reposted by Dan AltenDan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 10/08/2025I have my publicist prep my elderly grandma for my visit so she knows who I am. 1194
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 24/09/2025Birmingham, Opelika, Mobile, Hattiesburg, Lake Charles, New Orleans, Destin, Tallahassee, Prairieville, Pensacola, Auburn, Huntsville, Chattanooga, Memphis. 050
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 18/09/2025Columbus Ohio this Friday. If you snag tickets today online you can get half a Hamilton off with promo code DANFRIENDS. And if you get tickets tomorrow it's full price. And if you get tickets Saturday you're either a weirdo or you're getting scammed. I hope to see you soon. 071
Reposted by Dan AltenDan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 11/09/2025Capitalism sucks, right everybody? Here is a bit I don't do anymore that is appropriate for the day. And I hope you enjoy it. 0324
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 12/09/2025I bet playing DragonForce on Guitar Hero could get you more sex than playing it on real instruments 2131
Dan Alten @danalten.bsky.social · 11/09/2025Capitalism sucks, right everybody? Here is a bit I don't do anymore that is appropriate for the day. And I hope you enjoy it. 0324
