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The Daily Pratchett

@dailypratchett.bsky.social
1.8K followers 2 following 74 posts

Daily quotes from the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett. Compiled by @DiscoPriest. Not automated. Suggestions welcome.

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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
“Good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
“You took an oath to uphold the law and defend the citizens without fear or favor, and to protect the innocent. That’s all they put in. Maybe they thought those were the important things. Nothing in there about orders, even from me. You’re an officer of the law, not a soldier of the government.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
“You do the job that is in front of you.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
“The messenger, who was a sub-lieutenant and very nervous, couldn’t find the right words to explain that “unarmed civilian” was stretching a point when it was a two-hundred-pound slaughterhouse man with a long hook in one hand and a flensing knife in the other.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
“‘We live and learn, just like you said.’ ‘Some of us even do it the other way around.’”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
“There were rules. When you had a Guild of Assassins, there had to be rules that everyone knew and that were never, ever broken.*
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
“‘Stop the kid ringing the damn bell, will you?’ ‘Knock it off, Lance Constable,’ Vimes muttered. The noise had worked, anyway. This little tableau had a silent audience now.“
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
“‘And, of course, any citizen has the right to bear arms. Bear that in mind, please.’ ‘Arms is one thing. Holding weapons in ’em and playing soldiers is another.’l
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 30/06/2025
“Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
“People’d live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work every day, and then some trivial thing would happen and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
“To all the fighters for peace”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
Sigh.
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
“If the Creator had said, ‘Let there be light’ in Ankh-Morpork, he’d have got no further because of all the people saying ‘What color?’’’
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
“‘The Patrician’s a supreme ruler.’ ‘But he doesn’t wear a crown or sit on a throne and he doesn’t tell you it’s right that he should rule.’”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
“You took an oath to uphold the law and defend the citizens without fear or favor, and to protect the innocent. That’s all they put in. Maybe they thought those were the important things. Nothing in there about orders, even from me. You’re an officer of the law, not a soldier of the government.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
“Being a copper only worked when people let it work. If they refocused and realized you were just another standard idiot with a pennyworth of metal for a badge, you could end up as a smear on the pavement.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
“Who really knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men? ME. Who knew what sane men were capable of? STILL ME, I’M AFRAID.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
“The city doesn’t stop, you see. It’s not like a battlefield. The best place for urban fighting is right out in the countryside, sir, where there’s nothing else in the way.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
“Vimes wondered what was going on. He wondered if anyone out there was taking care of business.”
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Reposted by The Daily Pratchett
The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 04/08/2023
“‘Who sent yer?’ ‘I come from the city,’ said the figure, drawing a thin, silvery sword. ‘Who are yer?’ ‘Think of me as…your future.’”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
“That was what civilization meant. It meant the city.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
“‘Are we taking the law into our own hands again, Sarge?’ Vimes stared at the entrance to Cable Street, and was aware of the weight of the cigar case in his pocket. ‘Yes, Fred,’ he said. ‘Only this time we’re going to squeeze’.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 01/06/2024
“Two types of people laugh at the law; those that break it and those that make it.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 10/05/2024
“A woman’s voice said, ‘He’s awake.’ ‘Are you sure?’ said a man’s voice. ‘How can you tell?’ ‘Because I’m good at telling if a man is asleep,’ said the woman.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 21/04/2024
“The gonne gave you power from outside. You didn’t use it, it used you.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 08/03/2024
“This cemetery of Small Gods was for the people who didn’t know what happened next. They didn’t know what they believed in or if there was life after death and, often, they didn’t know what hit them.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 07/03/2024
“Now we sing dis stupid song! Sing it as we run along! Why we sing dis we don’t know! We can’t make der words rhyme prop’ly!”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 21/02/2024
“‘I should loosen her corsets, if I was you,’ she said as she ambled past. ‘Good heavens, madam, there’s enough panic in here as it is!’”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 25/12/2023
“HO. HO. HO.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 24/12/2023
“And fools made fools of all of us as we fought to stop a war, until the disgusted sky washed us away.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 16/11/2023
“Igors were naturally servile, vampires were naturally not. It was an ideal match.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 12/11/2023
“And so once again peace spreads her tranquil blanket.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 25/09/2023
“So that was the world, was it? Clearly a mad place, with madmen in it.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
“A crowd still hung around outside the palace. Things were happening, and even if they did not know what they were they weren’t going to miss them. If any history was going to occur, they wanted to watch it.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 19/09/2023
“WHAT KIND OF A THING ARE YOU?”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 13/09/2023
“Millennium hand and shrimp!”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 12/09/2023
“I’m going to do nothing. Wake me up if anything interesting happens.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 10/09/2023
“‘Isn’t that man your butler?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘One of your soldiers said he bit a man’s nose off.’ Vimes shrugged. ‘He’s got a very pointed look if I don’t use the sugar tongs, I know that.’”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 08/09/2023
“They had stripped down to their loincloths and were looking very sheepish, as men generally do in their underwear.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 06/09/2023
“Sooner or later, we’re all someone’s dog.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 02/09/2023
“I love the idea of giving in without a fight. I’ve fought for ten years and giving in without a fight is what I’ve always wanted to do.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 01/09/2023
“Our mum never made us knuckle sandwiches, but you’d be amazed at what she could do with a bit of cheese.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 30/08/2023
“Bingeley-bingeley beep!”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 29/08/2023
“Innocent words got dirty in his mouth.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 28/08/2023
“The Beast had been ready. The Beast didn’t think about guards and defenses. The Beast didn’t think at all. But it forever sniffed the air and eyed the shadows and sampled the night.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 26/08/2023
“History finds a way.”
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Reposted by The Daily Pratchett
The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 24/08/2023
“Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 24/08/2023
“Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 24/08/2023
“Theft was the only crime, whether the loot was good, innocence, land or life.”
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The Daily Pratchett @dailypratchett.bsky.social · 23/08/2023
“They’d stayed not because they wanted to be heroes, but because they chose to think of it as their job, and it was in front of them.”
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