iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 3h

i'm mr wobblemeat, i'm mister plaps i'm mr pomni feet, i'm mister W faps friends call me goon miser, whatever i touch gets jerked and edged in my clutch unnngh too much 🎶

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

until the room smells considerably less than before

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

AND REMEMBER... IF YOU SEE THE BUDDHA ON THE ROAD... (one two three four) ***KIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL HIIIIIIIIIIMMMM*** (loud ass riff starts, the pit goes bananas)

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

(when your boorish homie's words carry uncouth implications) hey mind the imples bro

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

evil leonard cohen be like and she feeds you BLOOD and ORGANS that come all the way from china

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

no way bro. not for all the cats in my clowder

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

(reassuringly) oh, honey... why, i'd break up with you to be with a worm!

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

dude thats not fucking funny. my uncle was vanquished

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

(walking into my bros drawing room and seeing the masterful tableau vivant he’s arranged) yooooo that your tabby V?

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

a twink fell over and it sounded like dropping a fork

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

buying someone's expensive lovingly designed adoptable character, immediately commissioning art of it transforming into an inert turd, then never doing anything with it ever again

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

investigators found the man "lifeless" and "festooned with jism"

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

twinks look like anti homeless architecture

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

yeah my sex life a movie... The Chronicles Of Mid Dick

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

you ask ME for a pack of smokes?... buddy youre askin for a smack of pokes

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 10/02/2026

marty supreme was so fucking boring it made me angry. what the hell was that

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 10/02/2026

By Jove a second penny farthing has hit the Splendiferous Bifurcated Verthouses Of Cogmerce Serving The Globe... And Beyond!

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

hijinks bro? 👀 u down for tomfoolery tonite? monkeyshines bro 👀👀👀 link up TheRumbustiousRascal sent you a Merrymaking invite. Go on romp with TheRumbustiousRascal? [y/n]

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

heed the ancient caveman call. take a rock smash dick and ball. burn what's left on man's first fire. dig a hole, crawl in, expire.

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

gruel before pottage, engage in some frottage pottage before gruel, go drown in the pool

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

What I believed to be extended soccer practice was in fact my son Kaysen receiving what Google says is a "yakuza" tattoo

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

getting a bit too much christmas cheer in me and nearly firing off an absolute zero noter in the mentions of a respected acquaintance

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 18/12/2025

smugly asking for "the milk of human kindness" as my last meal on death row

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

cheese check! everyone pull back your foreskin

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

candy before toys, you can hang with the boys / toys before candy, have shotgun handy

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

poop before pee, you can stay worry-free / pee before poop, summon Violent Orc Troupe

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

Do not ask of me to bet my bippy ever again.

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

i'll bet a lot of things, but NOT- (closes eyes, takes deep shuddering breath through nose) -not my sweet bippy. Never my sweet bippy.

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

quit taking refuge with the nephews and come get crunk with an unc

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 17/10/2025

im one of those indigo baby star seeds except the 5th dimensional pleiadean angel that was supposed to be my soul actually died immediately after i was born and so instead of becoming the healing light worker savior i was meant to be im just astrally lugging this spirit corpse around and it smells

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 05/10/2025

the worst part about the discourse having returned to "pascals wager except its about ai sentience" is that much like the usual pascals wager people will keep using that as an argument forever now. theres nothing to be done about it. you can't reason someone out of a belief based on faith and vibes

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 05/10/2025

listen i was never good at the spooky october nickname thing

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

she used it again, rj city please contact me re: royalties or maybe an executive producer credit

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

(alright giacomo. here you are atta vhs store. is no big deal. just regular guy stan' inna line. no suspicious atalle. is no crime for normalle'guy to renta da porno. you almos' at da cashiere, and-) "MAMMA MIA! IL CARDINALE RENTA DA PORNO" You Faila Da Meesion

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

new stealth game: you are a cardinal in the vatican. while in full regalia, you are to rent a pornographic vhs from the video store without being noticed

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

a somber new yorker feature on covid's devastating consequences for the apple bobbing community

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

greatest funk of all time Boopies Collins

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 16/08/2025

(cute girl saw me eating a pbj and goldfish crackers for dinner and im desperately trying to spin my 4th grader ass meal into something that will get me laid) nourishing my inner child just felt like the vibe today

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 15/08/2025

lmao wtffff dude must have been high as FUCK when he made this shit (pointing at thomas kinkade painting of a little cottage)

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 15/08/2025

guardsman, out of breath: b...beings, milord! they approach from over yonder! beings from the sticks! me: (narrows eyes, turns to my most eagle-eyed scout) beings... prithee, boy, how many scout: they number six and ninety, milord, six and ninety to the man me, through gritted teeth: it's them

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jiangshi schmancy @cthulhucalamari.bsky.social · 15/08/2025

i could have gone pro but i blew out my skene's glands back in 06

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