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@The Real Crustocrates

@crustocrates.bsky.social
333 followers 172 following 2.9K posts

Sometimes I post. Sometimes I reply. Sometimes I try to figure out how to say half the shit bouncing around in my brain in 300 characters or less. Most times I just think how disappointed I am in America & how stupid the entire MAGA movement is.

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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 8h
Thoughts and prayers and all that shit
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Reposted by @The Real Crustocrates
Kimbee🍸666 @kimbee666.bsky.social · 9h
Dear MAGA Rubes... 🚫 🧠 🚫
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 8h
*sigh* These people make my head hurt. Sure could go for a little natural selection right about now.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 20h
Nightmare fuel. Looks like I won’t be sleeping well tonight.
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Pizza Tower Peppino Screaming
Alt: Pizza Tower Peppino Screaming
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 20h
Shouting “USA” like MAGA has some kind of monopoly on patriotism really just cheapens everything about our country. It takes cringe to a new level and it’s buffoonish. Yes, this is the USA we haven’t forgotten please be quiet now.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 21h
Putin: I give you gas. You give me Ukraine…and handjob. Your hands are tiny and soft like woman. Trump: Deal! I’ll even give you Marco just to sweeten the pot. P: Keep him. I don’t like small dog. T: How about JD? P: No. Couch is antique. T: Melania? P: You presume to threaten me?!
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 21h
That’ll go well with his financial backers.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 21h
What a clown. He’s Colorado’s very own Alex Jones.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Lol True 😂 But doesn’t that mean he’s started it 39 times at this point?
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Agreed. For all of his flaws McCain had more integrity than most people on either side of the aisle. Too bad his daughter has turned into such a pathetic Trump apologist. Especially considering how insulting Trump was about John.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Well, most of HIS supporters probably don’t
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Rather than argue why Trump “deserved” the award he chose to launch an attack on Navi Pillay. Thing is, everything he’s saying makes her sound even better.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
The guy that started a war without Congressional approval (btw Congress, remember that?), bombs schools, and attempts to incite violence against his own citizens thinks he’s even a potential recipient of a PEACE prize?! What a fucking joke.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Looks like she’s struggling with gravity
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Awww, how cute. They’re in love
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Cupid's Beauty Touch
Alt: Cupid's Beauty Touch
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Solid answer.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
There’s no such thing as a “pro-lifer”. They’re just “anti-choicers” and they’re all a bunch of sick freaks for watching that shit.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Oh Salty Sue. Your time is up dearie. Time to go enjoy your Ensure and spend time knitting with your cats. You can even “act surprised” when one of the little rascals plays with the yarn and messes up your scarf.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Damn. Ossoff is not messing around. If the opportunity were to arise, he is a perfect anti-Trump. Whether he were to run against JD, little marco, or Cancun Cruz I think he would rip them apart. If Cicero were alive today I think they would have a lot in common.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
These kinds of mess ups are MAGA fodder. It’s a massive screwup at a time when the validity of the democratic process is under scrutiny and assault like never before. Jena Griswold wants to be AG but her history is not inspiring confidence.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I don’t think a man who launches dick-shaped rockets barely into space for like 5 minutes is someone I’m going to be listening to. But I am going to start calling him “Just the tip Jeff”
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
What I wouldn’t give to see a solid “This! Is! Sparta!” kick right now.
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300 Leonidas
Alt: 300 Leonidas
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I suspect there won’t only be people on those ships. They’re taking something else out of America and stashing it away somewhere else. It’s the perfect cover. Could be drugs, weapons, currency, or who knows.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Me to Alvin: Mother fucker nothing is more important than doing your job as a parent! Now get your ass in there and read some mother fuckin’ Goodnight Moon fore I put my foot up your ass. Fuck AI. Fuck your job. Fuck you.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Definitely because of your shady past as a kicker…of footballs.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Let’s drop both numbers a bit. I’ll compromise on 70 years old and 12 year terms.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I, for one, refuse to participate in Petey boy’s bloodthirsty posturing and I will not be watching that.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Who the fuck is Scotty Pressler?
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
And what exactly are “they” doing? Won’t be long until he declares that some other ethnic group are all fish people and we have to fight them before they sacrifice America to the great C’thuluh. MAGA will eat it up. Because they’re idiotic Neanderthals.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Is that the same Chamber that chose to remove you as its moderator in order to appease Marx? Instead choosing to hand moderator duties to that guy (Sealove, right?) who sounded like he had a stuffy nose?
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
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Voltron Assembles
Alt: Voltron Assembles
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Collins is scrambling. He knows he has no defense for his behavior, because there is none. He’s panicking. Then there’s Ossoff: calm and collected. Cool as a cucumber:
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
And he runs like a drunk chimpanzee
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
WOW!! He is the poster-child for the modern male douche. Note the unnecessarily intense glare (stare down w/photographer?), the combat fatigues (so you know he served), and the…gun?? Why the fuck does he have a gun on his website? Ooookaay tough guy.
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Billy Sole Predator Knife Scene
Alt: Billy Sole Predator Knife Scene
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Artificial Intelligence. There, I said it. Guess I’m the enemy now. It’s interesting; Woke for Dems typically has to do with human rights. Looks like MAGA Woke is going to be about machine’s rights. Products over people. That tracks.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Raging Bitchitis
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
On the left: I’m getting Early Tara Reid or Sarah Michelle Gellar vibes. On the right: I’m getting Silent Hill or Nip/Tuck after it got weird vibes.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Well, if he says Rogers is a good candidate without offering any evidence of why then I guess that’s gonna have to be good enough. BTW, Abdul el-Sayed goes back to the Jihad? Like the original one in approximately 622 CE? Dude is aging like a champ.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I count 4 midair tail wags 😵‍💫
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Some of those kids he put in the hospital never left. Because they fucking died!! May he be infected with every parasite in existence and spend the rest of his time “pioneering” in agony.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Run Petey run!!
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
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Stan Marsh & Butters: This One Again?
Alt: Stan Marsh & Butters: This One Again?
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
She looks lost. Kind of like she wandered away from her “facility”.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I hope that crazy podcaster preaching violence realizes it works both ways and that if the moment comes that someone decides he has to die there are no “take backs”. Also, pretty sure that Ticktin guy is the devil in disguise. I mean, just look at the guy! He’s a goblin!
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I understand that. It was a pun.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Maybe THAT man’s is, but that ain’t Mitch McConnell. It’s a robot or a pod person or something. Maybe a demon fantasizing about Tillis’ soul and how cheaply he got it
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I doubt a Fox interview of Bezos would do much to dissuade someone of that choice either
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I see two terrifying creatures. The Nosferatu in the red dress to his left , and the smug, bloodless ghoul to his right.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Meanwhile in CO: Being forced to choose between Michael Allen or Jena Griswold for AG is like being told I’m going to have COVID but this time I can pick my symptoms.
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@The Real Crustocrates @crustocrates.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I absolutely cannot vote for someone with a Dick Dastardly mustache
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Dick Dastardly
ALT: Dick Dastardly
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