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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

Anyone seen my Son Uppie? He is about half the size of 6’6 man and has brown hair and is wearing clothes. #Crotchytheconjurer #Uppie #Missingperson #magic #wizard #spellcasting

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 12/11/2024

Someone just sent me this image of me cursing that bitch Bethany at #McDonalds I must say I look mighty Thick today with my belly rolls. #Crotchytheconjurer #mage #Curses #wizard #Magic #forbidden #Spells #Thecursethatmakesfatchicksgocrazy #MILF #BONELESS

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 12/11/2024

Great Conference last night done some pixie dust with a good pal of mine @audibun.bsky.social who is not only skilful in the art of Botany but also a great supplier of pixie dust. #crotchytheconjurer #pixiedust #magic #wizard #Conference #spells #Botany #darkmagic #Drugs #ThebestWizard #Mastermagic

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 11/11/2024

Currently in a conference for all the Wizards in North America with Vermin supreme as a guest speaker. #Crotchytheconjurer #Wizard #magic #Conference #Verminsupreme #spells

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 10/11/2024

Got some potions brewed up if anyone needs some be warned I don’t label shit so it’s a gamble. Im pretty sure I have a potion to cure cancer and maybe one that can give you erectile dysfunction. Im at the Miles Marker, 263 Florida Orlando. #crotchytheconjurer #Magic #potions #wizard #Florida (pic)

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 09/11/2024

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday I was in another dimension fighting a gnome named Nimble-finger Mcgregor. That bitch stole my magical bag of Wizard Weed then I got detained by Dimensional security. (Pic of me being detained) #crotchytheconjurer #Dimensionalsecurity #Wizardweed #FuckGnomes #magic

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 07/11/2024

Just found this sick fucking shirt in a bathroom stall in a Gas station near my lair. If it’s yours you are not getting it back it now has my smelly water funk to it. #crotchytheconjurer #wizard #freeshirt #Crotchyforpresident2029 #magic #singleandreadytomakesomesweetsweetdwarvenlovetooldladies

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 07/11/2024

Just found out that apparently Costco don’t accept Dwarves as payment I mean what has this economy become if an upstanding wizard like myself can’t pay for 20 boxes of Cheese balls with three strong Dwarves. CURSE YOU US ECONMY!!!! #Crotchytheconjurer #Costco #Magic #DwarvenSlaves

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 07/11/2024

Bout to destroy the #Gastationbathroom toilet by blowing mud out my third eye (I have sever diarrhoea after drinking a funky potion I got from my friend Glen the glitter man) #crotchytheconjurer #magic #diarrhoea #Glentheglitterman #Wizardshits #wizard

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 07/11/2024

After that magic battle I have finally secured the witch piss! Soon I will have my hands on the Wizard weed. #Crotchytheconjurer #magic #witch #wizardbattle #Witchpiss #Gasstation #Wizard #WizardWeed

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 07/11/2024

Anyone seen Dave the magical cheese wizard? He owes me 35 large. If anyone has seen him let me know. If you are reading this Dave I have taken your familiar Sponge and will be teaching him dark spells (Here is a pic of that fat fucking cat) #Crotchytheconjurer #wizard #Gasstationbathroom #magicspell

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

I don’t get it are Americans just really really dumb I mean why did they elect an orange and not the banana into office #USA #elections #wizard #crotchytheconjurer #orangevsbanana

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

Bout to curse that bitch who only gave me 19 chicken nuggets and not 20 (pic of me looking cool) #crotchytheconjurer #curses #mcdonalds #bethany #Wizard #magic #prettyflyforawizardguy

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

Where is John Belushi I would like to fist fight him in a Dennys parking lot he has 24 hours to respond to this Wizard duel if not he then forfeits his wife to me #Crotchytheconjurer #Wizard #Dennys #wizardduel #gasstationbathroom

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

Who would like to smoke some wizard Hash (old women only please)

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

Who ever liked my posted I have blessed you with a spell you can thank me later ps it’s a pregnant pigeon

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

#promosky My interests are: 🪄Gas station bathrooms 🪄Wizardry 🪄aids crisis 🪄magic 🪄potions 🪄Dabloons 🪄fantasy 🪄being a father of dwarves 🪄Magical herbs *wink wink* 🪄starting a rebellion against evil 🪄Dog food 🪄Wizard clothes 🪄Balls (Of the cheese variety) 🪄old women 🪄witches

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Crotchy_The_Conjurer @crotchytheconjurer.bsky.social · 06/11/2024

I have done shit my magical wizard pants. Does anyone know of a good wizard dry cleaners?

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