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Ian

@crayman.bsky.social
28 followers 29 following 820 posts

Coming to you live from an abandoned radio tower deep within the Ultra Low Emissions Zone

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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ian's top candlestick pattern tips: 1 - Devil horns symbol (Bearish) 2 - UwU (Strongly bullish) 3 - Nekomimi (Sideways) If you see devil horns as one of the ears of nekomimi, you should immediately move your money into premium bonds
A financial chart candle stick pattern that sort of looks like a hand with devil horns, and a thumbA financial chart candle stick pattern that sort of looks like the w from a cat mouth uwu thing. You know, anime stuffA financial chart candle stick pattern that sort of looks like cat ears
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Cheapside Street Scene, c. 2026
A photo of Cheapside in London, with an endless cluster of Lime Bikes spilling all over the pavement.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Learned wisdom: Probably don't attempt toilet repair on a Sunday evening
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I fixed something with soldering today, and I hope this feeling last forever
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Thinking of trying to pivot real life conversations into ads for Surfshark
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
How many days in a row does "Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats" need to be playing on loop in my head before I can declare myself legally insane?
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Went to check out some biomes
A photo of a path through a woodland with tall trees, some blue sky showing between the trees and autumn colour with orange leaf fallThe photo showing heathland with blue sky and white cloudA photo showing a long alley of pine trees that are very tall orange leaffall covers the groundA photo of the leak in Black Park country Park with a greylag goose in the foreground standing on the shore. There is a square dream thing poking up in the foreground. The sky is blue with many white clouds and it’s reflected in the lake.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
My investing experience so far is this meme happening on an endless loop
A meme from the anime series Gundam Reconquista in G (also known as G-Reco). It shows Klimton Nicchini, a Gundam Pilot, gloating with the text 'I am a genius!' then a second frame where he looks alarmed and there are dramatic speed lines - his dialogue says 'Oh no!' as if he is about to explode.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I think I despise AI doomers more than AI boosters, but they're basically the same people - idiots who believe the marketing. There is absolutely no evidence 'Recursive self improvement' will happen. The companies running out of borrowed money and causing a stock market crash is far more likely.
Screenshot of Guardian Opinion article.
Headline: Would even an AI disaster on the scale of Hiroshima be enough to make humankind protect itself? I fear not
By line: Timothy Garton Ash
Blurb: It’s clear here in Silicon Valley that AI is advancing faster than humans’ ability to control it. That means even sober prophecies seem optimistic, says Guardian columnist Timothy Garton Ash
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Alert just arrived while I was on a packed train platform, giving me the whole 4-minute warning experience.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Hey gemini can't I just squint at the eclipse
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
"New North Sea oil drilling faces delay after gear accidentally dropped in sea"
A screenshot of the the Lost Valley level of the Tomb Raider remasters. Lara ponders a wall of gears, one of which is clearly missing
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Feel like I’m the first person ever to make it this far into the X-Files
Read photograph of Disney+ showing some episodes of the X-Files. The one highlighted is number 18 called Sunshine Days. the description is: “A series of deaths are linked to the house from The Brady Bunch”
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Announcing my new career as a youtube investment shyster. "3 Overlooked stocks that you should be buying yesterday". You will of course have to give me £4000 for a PDF, or pay to participate in my Webinar to find out what the stocks are, and yes they will tank immediately and permanently.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Bedroom down to 29.9C. Time for fitful sleetp.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
New work attire discovered: Looking like you stopped in at the office in the middle of a fun run
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I don't know man, I got home and the parcel was there. What do you want from me? Must I have opinions about every mundanity?
A screenshot of email - from Royal Mail Parcel Force with subject - "Your parcel has been delivered. How did we do?"
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Always remember - Just because there's never been a beetle in your shoe, that doesn't mean that there isn't a beetle in your shoe.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
(Misophonoia Brain) I really don’t understand people eating crisps just before lunch, or just after lunch. Just eat a better lunch! Also using a keyboard between bites. Yeah just slap your hand together twice, that’ll get the grease dust off. (Coworkers all have comically large crisp packet piles)
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Preview of a work for my new exhibition - “Fumbling with my dang phone”
A photo of Hillingdon Tube Station, at a roughly 90 degrees angle, with a finger obscuring 40% of the shot.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Been really trying not to order shit from Amazon, but had to recently and they've screwed up delivering 3 orders in a row. Hey Rufus! What's up with that? RUFUS!! You swine!!
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
"Xbox is weighing up cancelling its Marvel's Blade game and shuttering Arkane"
A meme generator of the scene in Jurassic Park where Ian Malcom says "Now eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?" but here it says "Now eventually you do plan to have games on your game platform, right?". It shows Ian Malcolm talking through a CRT, and John Hammond looking at the TV forlornly. In the film John says "I really hate that man..." next.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Fan breaks. "No problem, I will get one from Argos" Argos: "Why would we have fans?" "Fine, I'll go to the biggest shopping mall in Europe. Hey do you have fans?" Westfield: "No! Why would we have fans?" "Oh well, at least the mall is air conditioned" Westfield: "No! Why would we have AC?"
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Can we do that sky scorching thing from the Matrix, but just like a bit? Maybe a couple of planes?
A still from the Animatrix. A bunch of planes fly in a line over a inspecific deserty town. They are releasing big plumes of black smoke.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
<- Shakes hands with one of those pricks who tries to crush your hand with their handshakes Me: "Ow!" Not really winning the male dominance shit today
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
The last couple of years I've celebrated Spooky August - when it becomes too hot to do anything except watch terrible franchise horror movies. This year, I've had to bring it forward and now we have Spooky June. At this rate, by 2030 February will be spooky.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Morning Routine: 5:55 Wake up 5:56 See what's going on with the reflecting pool now
A screenshot of Instagram, a post from the use 'jonkarl'. It shows a hand pulling a dark blue piece of slimey apoxy out of a murky green water. It says: "Reflecting Pool debacle – the algae is still here at the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool but that $14 million paint job – the “American flag blue“ – is starting to peel away"
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Calibrachoa! My favourite flower for these balcony tubs. They usually last for months, and you get to play the fun game of guessing which colour will be ultimately victorious.
A balcony rail planter with a large Calibrachoa flowering in white pink and purple.A balcony rail planter with a large Calibrachoa flowering in white, red and purple.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Oracle Bone Script (1250 – c. 1050 BC China) has some very evocative characters. But I am a bit concerned that they needed a character for Ghost, and it's kinda creepy.
A grid of Oracle Bone Script characters and their translations.
The diagrams look like stick-figure representations of the tings. The ghost is a sort of bent line running down from a circle with a cross through it, and a arm to the right.
Also on the diagram are:
Poop
Pee, Butt, Shower, Dance, Charm, Fight, Rainbow, Pretty, Ride, Shoot, Walk, Deer, Elephant, Ghost
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
My neighbour rents out their parking space. For the last couple of weeks this car has been coming and going with bird poop all over the driver’s door handle. Just so you know there are people like this out there. People with bird poop hands.
A photo of a white car driver side door. The handle has a big blob of bird poop on it.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
@theguardian.com Your website has adverts for Epicooler which is a scam. It is not an Air Conditioner, and cannot cool anything - it's just a fan.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
Friggin Giant House Spiders. Found five of them over the last few days. Hands down the worst type of spider.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Look, I'm willing to admit that raising a peasant army isn't the solution to every problem. But can we like just try it at least once? See how it goes?
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
I hate it when the chemtrail pilots are on strike. Get back up there ya lazy bums!
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Finally completed the modern half of my Corgi Discworld collection.
A photo of a shelf of discord novels from The Truth to The Shepherd’s Crown.The photo of this world novels face up on a rug. They are the old corgi covers. They are arranged roughly correctly from the colour of magic through to the fifth elephant.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
buifsooq poow, as I’m constantly saying
A photo of an upside down shower gel bottle. It appears to say “ᵷuifsooq poow” instead of “mood boosting”
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
I’d like to congratulate my friend Josh for being the first person to think about the Ruth Rendell Mysteries in 2026
A still of the logo of The Ruth Rendell Mysteries tv show title
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
I'm loving the FF14 dungeon thing where the end boss doesn't explode or turn to dust. They just stay there after being beaten looking sad. Then the characters are like "Hey bud, are you okay? What were you trying to do anyway? Everything okay back in the void dimension?". Reach out to your bosses!
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
As a Londoner, I enjoy pedantically pointing out the errors in depictions of London. Here in the intro to Victorian Romance Emma, we can see Portcullis House to the right of Westminster Bridge. This building was constructed between 1998 and 2001, so would have not existed in Victorian times.
A screenshot of youtube showing a frame from the intro to Victorian Romance Emma. It shows the famous Houses of Parliament Clock Tower, Westminster Bridge, and the roof of Portcullis House.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
So what is the US going to do if a tanker tries to pass their blockade? Are they going to fire on the tanker? Are they pirates now? Does Trump want to be the Pirate King?
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
This is why I haven't watched terrestrial TV in like 20 years.
A screenshot of radiotimes.com. It shows 1pm-4pm.
BBC1: Women's Six Nations. Live Wimen's Six Nations. from 1pm 4pm
BBC2: Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 1-3:3pm
itv1: ITV Raction Grand National Festival 1-4
Channel 4: 5 episodes of "Four in a Bed" in a row
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Yay, still getting ID'd in my 40s. The secret is white tea.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
I sometimes think about how well Yoda Stories captured the true essence of Yoda
A cropped screenshot of Yoda Stories, a Windows 98 game. You can see the window with 'File' 'Options' 'Window' and 'Help' menus at the top. In the center is a black background area with a low-resolution image of Yoda from the shoulders up. He looks placed. Beneath it it says 'TRY AGAIN...' In italic Yellow/Orange gradient text.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
I feel like a lot of my podcasts that used to be about specific topics are now just about the terrible state of all things.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
Current metal state: Going to make a tea and finding the last tea I made and forgot about which is now very stewed and cold, but drinking it anyway.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
I did the Big Ben tour recently. We were in the belfry at 1pm. We weren’t allowed to take photos, but it basically looked like this.
A photo of a page from Vermis II by Plastiboo. It shows a figure looking down at its reflection in a puddle of blood. The figure is in a massive Belfry with an orange sky visible. A massive bell hangs in the ceiling twisted to the side with the clapper to the left as if frozen mid ringing. There is a title for the page that’s reads “A single toll.”
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Gemini is done up to the nines.
A screenshot from google - 

AI Overview

Better World Books (BWB) operates hundreds of book drop-box locations across the US and UK, typically located at libraries,9999999999999999999999999999999999999"

Etc. It just says 9s forever
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
I swear, Watford gets the weirdest rain clouds.
A photo of a distance funnel shaped cloud with a wide base. It is lit up yellow and orange.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
I'm over here not reading the Foreword, the Introduction, the Notes on Text, and I'm ignoring the Suggestions for Further Reading. Come at me, Literati.
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Ian @crayman.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Good news! Our game has added customisable player housing. Now typical quest rewards will be: 51 Gold A Superior Quality Gear Item A choice between - * An ugly footstool * A ratty runner * A wicker basket
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