Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 22/04/2026All things considered, a bone marrow biopsy is not all that bad, but I still don’t recommend getting one unless there is a medical reason for it. 360
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 02/04/2026I honestly think that Trump could fake a death/resurrection arc and people would believe it. Kinda surprised he hasn’t tried it yet. 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 31/03/2026I know Chalamet probably doesn’t want to do comic book movies but I would love to see him play Batman or Thor or Wolverine as long as he doesn’t add any muscle mass or work out at all. 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 31/03/2026Ran out of distilled water for my CPAP but this can of clam chowder should do the trick. 030
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 21/11/2025Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Give a man $470 in travel reimbursements, he buys a used drum set despite never playing drums before in any meaningful sense. 010
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 20/11/2025Trying to be so careful with what stickers I put on my guitar case. Like what if seven years ago I slapped a Pickle Rick on there? Nightmare. 040
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 17/05/2025Come on doc, stop sugarcoating things and give it to me straight! 240
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 13/04/2025Shoot me your cell number if you want me to text you “I love weed” every couple months. 030
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 04/04/2025I think Trump’s analogy of this being like a surgery with the expectation of recovering better than we started out is a pretty good one but I sure as shit don’t remember him getting the country’s informed consent. 070
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 19/03/2025My god if I see one more Democrat agreeing that we need to eliminate “waste, fraud and abuse” without demanding to know exactly who is defining those terms and exactly how they are defined, well, I don’t know what I’ll do. Probably just be ineffectually frustrated. 070
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 17/03/2025Like I understand the appeal of marrying your best friend but might I suggest marrying your hottest friend and getting to best later on. 080
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 14/03/2025Coming up on one year since my stem cell transplant. Is that a cancerversary? Do people call it that? I hope not. I don’t care for it one bit. 1140
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 12/03/2025Nepo baby quiz: without googling, can you name Patrick Schwarzenegger’s famous dad? 440
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 08/03/2025Hmm one of these characters seems uptight and straight laced while the other is more free spirited. Interesting dynamic. Fucking wild to think how it might play out. 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 07/03/2025So many good ones. Maya Hawke, Jack Quaid, Margaret Qualley, Zoe Kravitz and of course little Tom Cruise Heidecker (RIP) 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 07/03/2025DO YOU HEAR ME WORLD?? I LOVE THE NEPO BABIES (acting only). 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 07/03/2025Sorry I can’t bring myself to post about important stuff but do want to say that I LOVE many of acting’s most prominent nepo babies. 080
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 03/03/2025The On Cinema Oscar special is all that I hoped it would be and more 040
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 28/02/2025The “Trump vote regretters” are the new small town diner patrons. To the extent they exist, they are a few scattered individuals, not a movement. Those building social media followings out of it are grifters until proven otherwise. 150
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 22/02/2025I can comfortably claim double digits without even drastically relaxing the definition of petted 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 21/02/2025Severance makes me very emotional over how long it’s been since I’ve had sex in a tent. 160
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Over and over again I try to use the force to shut off a light switch or grab a tissue from across the room and it almost never works. 150
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Wait what if the outie shaved a message into his or her pubes????? 240
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 12/02/2025Good things about limiting social media include not having to deal with dear friends on FB telling me that DOGE isn’t really cutting cancer research so their vote didn’t hasten my death, or strangers on Twitter telling me the same thing while incorporating the r-word or a gay slur. 2541
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Tommy Tuberville issuing a press release clarifying he never coached Mahomes. 040
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 09/02/2025Start dealing with the fact that this is the new face of modern fitness. 050
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 30/01/2025They are going to find some black woman or trans person with some level of involvement in flight safety and that will be all the evidence they need. I want to fucking puke. 040
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Feels trite to post anything other than doom or outrage but my son is getting pretty good at guitar (solo at around 1:05) youtu.be/lZowyZ2oXT4?...youtu.beFirst jazz workshopYouTube video by Jason Logue 151
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Wait is John Mellencamp going to get sent to the gulag if he doesn’t change the lyric in “Pink Houses” to “Gulf of America”???? (Oooh yeah) 031
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 22/01/2025I think I’ve blocked the people who would give me grief about trying to lose weight while struggling with the physical limitations imposed by my cancer, so might start posting about that. Brief preview- I don’t love it. 030
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 22/01/2025I think maybe the best microagression I can muster right now is if someone says something shitty about “the next four years” to be like “actually, it’s only 3 years and change at this point.” 120
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Pffft I thought they said it was gonna be cold. (Washer fluid is fine get off my back) 010
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Can’t mute the term “eggs” without losing out on some primo breakfast content. 040
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 18/01/2025Oh great, now I can’t listen to Lee Greenwood anymore? 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 17/01/2025Just can’t fucking believe we are back to shit like dunking on fucking Kid Rock over who attended which fucking inauguration. 140
Reposted by Cranberrypersonorinoco boo @nocontroller.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Piano roll of “Laura Palmer’s Theme” from Twin Peaks. The visual representation of two mountain peaks in the music was a “cosmic” coincidence which shocked both Lynch and Badalamenti when they discovered it 302458440
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 16/01/2025I probably shouldn’t watch The Straight Story right now because I well up when strangers are kind to the main character when I watch it on days David Lynch DIDN’T die. 010
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Lynch passing feels like Bowie and Prince- hard to accept they could die, maybe because it’s hard to believe they lived. 030
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 11/01/2025Wait is this Margaret Lanterman’s fitness line? 120
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 08/01/2025Would be great for America to have Greenland the same way it’s great for the bully to have the weaker kid’s lunch money. 030
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 08/01/2025Look if I write a song about someone being myopic, you bet your ass I’m pronouncing it biopic. 130
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Seems unfair that Patty Scialfa and I have the same kind of cancer but she’s the only one who gets to snuggle with Bruce Springsteen. 060
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 14/09/2024Me after giving an old friend 11 minutes of free legal advice: “I am so nice. Seriously wonderful and generous. People are so lucky to know me. Just the absolute nicest.” 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 05/09/2023It's such a pleasant and wholly unxpected surprise when you look up an '80s wrestler on wikipedia and the intro line is "[Such and such] IS a former wrestler" instead of "WAS" a former wrestler. 020
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 31/08/2023You know how if you wear an untucked shirt you can trick yourself into thinking it doesn't necessarily look like all the space under the shirt is filled with flab? Wearing a brace around your midsection kind of kills that illusion. Anyways, that is the worst part about having a broken back so far. 000
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 30/08/2023I don't know much about country music but is Morgan Wallen so darn good that you couldn't just get comparable satisfaction listening to a musician who doesn't use the n-word? 010
Cranberryperson @cranberryperson.bsky.social · 25/08/2023Which candidate would you like to share a ferris wheel ride with, staring into each other's eyes while your hands occasionally graze each others' while reaching for popcorn? 010