Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Why I'd Survive a Horror Movie: A Photo Essay 000
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Artist! QRP your flowers 🌹🌺 (adding another killer flower to the mix) 010
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I like to imagine that Frederick R. Dunne, Jr., Esq., and F.R. "Chip" Dunne, III, Esq. are champing at the bit for Leonard B. Cohen, Esq., either to die or to retire so that they can have THE BEST LAWFIRM NAME EVER. 100
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 31/08/2026At one point (I don't recall why) I decided to photoshop the "The"s out of some movie title cards to see if they'd still hit as hard. (Spoiler: They don't! ) 000
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Any excuse to (re)post this, which nobody seems to have watched the first time I showed it. 🤷♂️😭 000
Reposted by Craig HillmanCraig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 29/07/2026I stand corrected. (I'd heard it was cataract surgery on his palms.) 1394
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 23/07/2026People are making fun, but the full tweet is chilling. 010
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 23/07/2026"This fried chicken tastes horrible, Matt. How the hell did you cook this?" 110
Reposted by Craig HillmanCraig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 14/07/2026The White House could've just run with this map, maybe saved a buck at the print shop. 001
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 08/07/2026The stock photo Merriam-Webster uses to illustrate "upsy-daisy" goes hard, y'all. 030
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Change a horror movie title to make it cosy. The "OM"ing 030
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Posting this short video as a sidenote to a comment-section convo over on @bcdreyer.social 's page, relating to witches and houses and various other twister-borne items and how, and in which order, they might have landed in Oz. Or how I imagine it might have gone. 031
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 28/06/2026A historic conversation, as I imagine it took place. 100
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 05/06/2026"I got two words for ya—ready? Indian. Freaking. Vampire. Okay, three words." 000
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 03/06/2026I used to think Anaïs Anaïs was the fanciest name for a perfume I'd ever heard. That was before I saw this commercial: 010
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 03/06/2026One year, for Pride month, I changed the banner on my Facebook profile to what I thought was pretty obviously a picture of a gay sangria introducing his partner to his parents as his queer bar buddies looked on. No one got it, so I added some dialogue balloons. They still didn't get it. 🤷♂️ 010
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 01/06/2026I feel as though there's a waste of label ink on this tag. Is there anyone out there (English- Spanish- or French-speaking)—someone who maybe sized out of "S/CH/P" or "L/G/G"—who would look at a *single* M on the tag of a pair of mediums and be all, YOU GOT ME OPERATING WITHOUT A NET, HERE, RALPH! 000
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 22/05/2026Yup, that's totally the reason. Anyway: Bye, Tulz! Something-something-'Good Lord split ya.' (I actually edited about 5 ideas out of this cartoon, and perhaps should've gone a couple further. 🤷♂️) 100
Reposted by Craig HillmanCraig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 22/05/2026They could add a play area. 031
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 20/05/2026Adding this video clip, because: same energy. 010
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 12/05/2026On the occasion of his passing today at age 87, I'd like to throw out that, as an NYC-adjacent kid in the late 1970s, I somehow got it in my head that the creepy eyes in the ads for Ira Levin's "Deathtrap" (which were everywhere) belonged to Rex Reed. And always shall, in my mind. Because: Duh. 130
Reposted by Craig HillmanCraig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026As long as we're at it 🤷♂️ 31254
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 18/05/2025My contribution to this month's @hellsculptclub.bsky.social art challenge (prompt: "Terror from the Abyss") 032
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 08/05/2025It's not much to look at, but that Papal Chimney is a little diva. #NewPope #Vatican #Conclave 000
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 07/05/2025Still unsure how the #conclave works, but I'm pretty sure the Cardinals should've completed the worm round by now. 010
Reposted by Craig HillmanCraig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 31/03/2024In France, children are told that their Easter eggs are delivered by Les Cloches Volantes: the Flying Bells. At all other times of year, they are instructed to avoid these bloodthirsty, roving predators. Joyeuses Pâcques á tous! 031
Craig Hillman @craighillman.bsky.social · 05/04/2025If you see this, post something monochromatic 110
![Native to western Sumatra, Amorphophallus Titanum is known by locals as Bunga Bangkai, or "Corpse Flower." While many believe this is due to the flower's putrid odor—like that of rotting flesh—this is only partially true.
[Image: an antique black-and-white etching showing a tropical jungle scene. A native chieftan or shaman stands on a hillside before a corpse flower, with their arms raised, as if in worship or thrall. The spadix of the immense, trumpet-shaped bloom resembles a pair of nude legs.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dprpxewutrrx3kwppczrewo3/bafkreigt2wpvei6p227ucgaqrcaptpezs6jjddwpc4f3sipjworad3qvba)
![Famously, the spadix of one rare variation of the plant is said to resemble a woman's nude, shapely pair of legs and pointed feet—pressed together and extending skyward out of the spathe, as legs might be positioned held in a head- or handstand.
[Image: an antique photograph of a botanist in a pith helmet, posing next to a corpse flower, as described above]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dprpxewutrrx3kwppczrewo3/bafkreigqot5675zfnv24le6ksepygxdebewj4a2477z2u4yasywhngb2vu)
![Legend has it that if someone is tricked by the sight of a woman seemingly trapped inside the plant, and grabs ahold of these decoy legs in an attempt to "rescue" her, the plant's chemical compounds upon their skin will immediately cause them to fall deeply in love with the plant.
[Image: Another antique photo of a white-haired man with a beard, wearing a dark suit, standing on a stool next to a corpse flower in bloom.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dprpxewutrrx3kwppczrewo3/bafkreibbwpjhb4b7dzjlkjpbyhwvg64kmg7drralhhtoo5v74e3plauvse)
![Thus intoxicated, the victim loses all desire to eat, drink or sleep, and would
sooner die than break physical contact with the plant. Before they succumb to hunger or thirst, they are generally eaten alive by the carrion beetles lured by the plant's stench of decay, eventually becoming the selfsame "corpse" referenced in the plant's name.
[Image: An antique photo of a corpse flower, it's spadix embraced in the skeletal arms of a dessicated corpse.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dprpxewutrrx3kwppczrewo3/bafkreig2hrwxawdhqsi6yujzw7xzkmwzonwurutgfbgoi3twc4yrfgai5q)
![Image: a child's gory drawing of a man-sized rooster with an axe beheading a man
Text:
CHARACTER IN A HORROR MOVIE:
"Well let me tell you what I see, Dr. Goodwin. I see a creative, misunderstood young boy processing the mysterious, violent deaths of our neighbor's dog, his latest stepfather, the class bully, and the nosy school groundskeeper. I see a school that should be supporting him, not treating him like a monster—and certainly not reporting him to the police!
'Mr. Cluck' is my son's imaginary friend, Doctor.
Imaginary. Which I'll take any day over a false friend, like you."
ME: [an image of a Google search bar with the text "boarding schools in Europe" being entered into it]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dprpxewutrrx3kwppczrewo3/bafkreiehgfthiwccgx5ehb7yvpy3kuphlud5kbimcj5r4iddokm3mn3fgi)
![Image: Old wallpaper peeling away from a red wall, revealing inverted crosses and the words "SHE MUST FEED" scrawled underneath, as if scratched into the plaster by a deranged person
Text:
CHARACTER IN A HORROR MOVIE:
"Why would anyone in their right mind seal off this adorable room? It will make the perfect nursery when the baby comes. Especially after we strip away the rest of this dreary old wallpaper."
ME:
[sound of rapid footsteps, car door slamming, engine peeling off into the distance]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dprpxewutrrx3kwppczrewo3/bafkreifvueggksnhtldicjgdpkagwfka7jcf3dmpq5wtwla3hqaonftnuy)
