Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Just invented a new jacking off hand position that’s exclusively for intellectuals 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Hey are you thinking about another guy when we have sex? If you are let me know so I can think about him too 030
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Your pussy looks trash are you free later 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Got nervous and accidentally ordered fellatio alfredo at Olive Garden 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 20/07/2026(Referring to my own balls) hey look it’s the gruesome twosome! 121
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 17/07/2026You have a very interesting butthole. Not saying if it’s good or bad, just interesting 140
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 12/07/2026(The Applebees waitress coming to check on me) Everything ok? You’ve been here over an hour and you’re barely touched your penis 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 09/07/2026The mailman HAS to be making me cum on purpose. There’s just no way it’s a coincidence this many times in a row 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Gotta be honest I don’t really get the point of scissoring I always end up hurting my balls 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Getting my circumcision touched up at Supercuts 1132
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Paying a lot lizard to trip sit for me while I do kratom 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 20/06/2026Umm excuse me, waiter? There’s some cum in my penis? 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 16/06/2026Accusing my mailman of being a low-level Mason tasked with surveilling me and demanding to see the underside of his balls at gunpoint to locate the tracking device 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 07/06/2026Forcing my wife to get an abortion because the fetus has the gene that makes you a white rapper 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Where can I get porn with the bad words bleeped out 0203
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 02/06/2026Can anyone recommend some good penises I should look at? 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 31/05/2026Your unconscionable dick sucking will get you nowhere in life, playboy 030
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 25/05/2026Doctor doctor give me the news I got a bad case of having gay sex with dudes 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 23/05/2026I’m starting to think you only like me because of my various glands 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 17/05/2026My penis is clanging around in my jeans and making a god awful racket 050
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 14/05/2026Just ate a weird type of mushroom and it turned me from a grower into shower 040
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Hey sorry I can’t go out tonight I forgot I don’t like doing anything 319514
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 06/05/2026Relapsed so now I need to go find a Tip Touchers Anonymous meeting asap 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 03/05/2026Just won Taco Bell’s Most Sexual Customer of the Year award 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 28/04/2026(Pulling down my pants and underwear) imagine showing this to a medieval peasant 011
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 24/04/2026(Misremembering the phrase “cruisin for a bruisin” while threatening someone) careful buddy, you’re hurtin for a squirtin 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 22/04/2026Finally, a credit card for men that pee sitting down 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 21/04/2026(Narrator voice) She was the kind of broad you’d have sex with your penis with 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 18/04/2026I just took a piss a few days ago so this weird feeling near my penis must be something else 030
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 17/04/2026My new science fiction novel dare to ask: what if a robot could suck you off from behind 000
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 15/04/2026A shaft in the hand is worth 2 on the balls or whatever that expression is 030
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 14/04/2026Do the way my balls peek out the bottom of my shorts make me look untested in battle? 040
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 09/04/2026Hey do you wanna be my squirtuationship 082
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 08/04/2026Sitting on my dick for a while and then jacking off so it feels like giving someone else a handjob 181
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Just won LinkedIn’s Most Sexual Poster of the Year award 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 06/04/2026I think there’s some type of creature living in my vas deferens 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 02/04/2026Hey man sorry I missed your wedding my pants got caught in an escalator and ripped them clean off my body in the middle of a very busy store and everyone saw my fucked up butt cheeks 030
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 31/03/2026Hey man just so you know when we shook hands earlier I could tell from your grip that your prostate is completely fucked 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Studying extra hard so I get an A on my prostate exam 040
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 27/03/2026Getting a bbl (Brazilian ball lift) 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 26/03/2026Most people find it unsettling when I mimic human laughter 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 24/03/2026(During sex when the other guy cums) wait that happened to me once too 040
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 22/03/2026Experts are saying that “Porn 2” is closer than we think 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 21/03/2026(After busting from one stroke) pretty cool right? 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Asking the guy at the next urinal to hold hands and say grace before we start 060
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 15/03/2026I scanned my balls at the CVS self checkout any they came up as $7.99 020
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 12/03/2026In bed rubbing my butt and thinking about outer space 010
Captain Jean Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Parking in the handicapped spot because I got blue balls 020
