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Jordan Spence apologist

@cobrakai.bsky.social
45 followers 223 following 296 posts

I'm self-taught and my teacher was a dimwit

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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 14h
I think it's a back-to-back with travel against a rested home team while our defense is playing a whole pairing out of their depth? But still, hurts to lose to such a steaming pile of trash.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 14h
I haven't seen a replay that shows the infraction
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 16h
@hockeyviz.com does your "ping" data come from NHL pbp? Missing a very clear one from Stützle early.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 16h
Man deBrincat actually looks pretty good when he's trying. I wish Ottawa had gotten a little of that. Ah well, as long as he doesn't sulk and get lazy as Detroit becomes an undesirable location he'll be fine.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 16h
Stützle contains hell of dogs this year
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I'll be honest I didn't think kleven one 1-on-1 against Pastrnak was going to go that well.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Ersson perfect so far this season
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Do the Bruins all have the flu or something? They have not looked like an NHL team so far.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Remember the last "lateral" forward-for-defense move they made? The trade was one-for-one.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Congratulations to the 2029 Hamilton Red Wings.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It's a-me
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
That's a pretty light call on Giroux but I think the refs are just trying to get warmed up.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Ugh I realize that our home opener is going to be an away-only Sportsnet broadcast. For this reason alone I would hate the Maple Leafs.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
@millvsspqr.bsky.social I thought you should know that whenever I read about the Detroit goalie Trey Augustine (K. Augustine III), I call him Augustus Tertius and think of you.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Funny to see how different the takes are from major out-of-town/American pundits. I'm curious which of Stützle or Sanderson he thinks is worse than Brady.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Iron Chef + "people's choice" competitive cookout.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Inside every country but nowhere close to the city, except the cringey one www.maptap.gg May 8 99🎯 85😁 95🏅 80✨ 79✨ Final score: 851
maptap.gg
🎯MapTap Daily Geography Game
Play MapTap - the daily geography game! Find 5 world locations on a 3D globe with historical stories. Free browser-based daily game for geography lovers.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Sometimes they all line up. #5 I just went for the middle of the country. www.maptap.gg May 6 99🎯 96🔥 99🎯 99🎯 90👑 Final score: 960
maptap.gg
🎯MapTap Daily Geography Game
Play MapTap - the daily geography game! Find 5 world locations on a 3D globe with historical stories. Free browser-based daily game for geography lovers.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Man that Nikishin hit is awful to see. It doesn't even look like he hits his head (from what I've seen) but hopefully it reminds Canes fans why hits like the Sanderson headshot should be harshly punished.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Hall shouldn't even be playing. Washed up headshot artist with the face of a horse and the brains of an ox.
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Reposted by Jordan Spence apologist
Micah McCurdy @hockeyviz.com · 13/11/2024
The material cause of your team being bad is that the players aren't very good. The formal cause is that they lose so many games. The efficient cause is that the people who run the team are unwise. The final cause is for you to suffer.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Lincoln was the hardest and I embarrassingly don't know where Mexico starts . . . www.maptap.gg April 10 92🏆 100🎯 95🏅 91👑 98🎯 Final score: 949
maptap.gg
🎯MapTap Daily Geography Game
Play MapTap - the daily geography game! Find 5 world locations on a 3D globe with historical stories. Free browser-based daily game for geography lovers.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
I try to ignore him but I remember about a month ago Garrioch on TV said "the organization doesn't see Jordan Spence as a top four defenceman", and a), cite a source loser, Melnyk is dead, Dorion gone, and everyone left hates you, & b) I hope anybody with this take sees now how fucking dumb they are
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
I bet Staios wishes he'd re-signed Spence before he turned into our #1D. I have genuinely no idea what his next contract looks like now.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
I'm deeply disappointed he didn't slap it.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
The Senators whole blue line tonight combined earns less than just Dahlin and about the same as Power.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
No replay yet but that should probably be a 5-on-3, Zetterlund was flattened nowhere near the puck.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Jake Sanderson better be in some kind of sci-fi regenerative chamber right now
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
@hockeyviz.com Is the 🌈 💀 🦀 limited to subscribers? It's bouncing to the 2pm message.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
The last time a team put fewer than ten shots on goal was 2003.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Haha worth it. Get fucked JT.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Oh good Miller trying to take out another defenseman.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Spence's individual xG must be wild the last few games, he's been wiring it.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
That ump is just excited to party with Kash Patel
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
Send out Marek Malik
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
This Senators team, you just know a late one goal lead isn't going to stick. The only question is, OT loss or regulation loss?
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Classic NHL reffing. Go ahead and injure a guy with an illegal hit, the refs will penalize the other team more
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
If Halliday beats you up ice for an icing you might not belong in the NHL.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
I wanted to not associate the American win with Trumpism but seeing pictures of Kash Patel partying with the players makes it impossible. It'll be hard to suspend disbelief about Brady and Sandy's character after this. Ugh.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
That's how Sam Bennett affects your team when he doesn't get Panthers reffing.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
Looks like Jarvis goes into the crease on his own, catches just a bit of Sanderson, and just decks the goalie. Weird for that to count.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
Haha Stamkos has obviouslyv been a golden boy his whole life and has the emotional maturity of a toddler or an American President.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
Refereeing has been very pro-Nashville. Cancelled a goal put in by a Nashville player shoving somebody into the net before the whistle, then declared a baby slash equal to a tree-chop plus hard cross check to a player down on the ice, because stamkos I guess.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
The refs are really determined to do nothing at all this game eh
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
@downgoesbrown.bsky.social re: today's episode of Puck Soup: The successfully to "Electric Boogaloo" as a sequel title is "Pig in the City". "The Letter 2: Pig in the City"
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
Haha I loved Sanderson taking Bennett and Reinhart 1-on-2 and making them both look like the first cuts from a Timbits team.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Travis Green has to be the worst coach in the league at coaches' challenges. Fireable at this point.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
Oh that's a fucking dive. Larkin has a long history of this, by far the most prolific diver in this game.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
Wow what a loser Stanley is. Chickenshit sucker punch. Embarrassing to Winnipeg tbh.
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Jordan Spence apologist @cobrakai.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
The Jets have noticed our powerplay is worse than our EV tonight so they'll just play the whole game 4v5
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