iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

HIMS is a scam!! My auto payment didn’t go through and they sent me fake GLP-1 injections that I’m pretty sure contained silicone and now my fat juicy ass doesn’t fit into any of my jean shorts!!!!

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Timothee Chalamet: I’m going to play Willy Wonka because I want to be the next Gene Wilder Tom Holland: I’m finally going to produce and star in my dream project, a Fred Astaire biopic Robert Pattinson: What’s like the most fucked up little freak you’ve ever seen and what does he sound like

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Why do you think he hates Mondays

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

I asked my dad if it was hot where he was and he said he went for a walk earlier and “let’s just say there’s fresh tarmac on the landing strip” and I was too scared to ask what that meant

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Lil Wayne if he were on the 2010 single “Monster” by Kanye West (feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver & Nicki Minaj): chasin Jason through the camp, goin Machete mode in Crystal Lake / I got my grillz on a friday thirteenth, i’m comin home with crystal ache

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

I could never tell the difference between purple and pink. The kids in school used to call me Confuschias

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Sugar Cookies are cool cause they have the texture of Tums but also they taste like Tums

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

catching up on the “Based on a True Story” Extended Universe and I’ve only made it to 10,000 BC (2008). This shit sucks!!!

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

Tony Hinchcliffe and Joe Rogan sitting on a couch for three hours holding a ziplock bag full of weed, each waiting for the other to roll the first joint. One of them coughs, the other says “glad we could finally do this”

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

“Negroni Spagliato with Prosecco in it” was a 2013 meme and the fact it didn’t occur for us until 2022 is because CERN activated the Hadron Collider in 2008 throwing us nearly irrevocably into the Harlem Shake Timeline. We are sliding back into our original reality, but there are symptoms.

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

My buddy just pronounced Dadaist as “Da-Daste” and in a way a Dadaist may say saying “Da-Daste” is more Dadaist than saying Dadaist.

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

I poured my protein shake into my probiotic mushroom coffee this morning. I don’t remember what exactly happened but an hour later I was stood outside of a Whole Foods shouting ableist slurs and wielding a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra like a 15th Century Pavise

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

Before the internet everyone had three friend groups they would rotate between: Fun People, Serious People & Stinky People.

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Reposted by Adam Nuttesac

Jomboy Media (Unofficial) @jomboymedia-mirror.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Nothing can prepare you for who's singing this National Anthem (via lpaulfranklin / TT)

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

“the first two seasons are pretty hit or miss but after season three is really where it picks up” okay what you are describing is Stockholm Syndrome

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

went to high school with a girl who everybody thought was named “Thelma” until graduation. turns out she just had a really tough lisp

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

made my gf watch me eat a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands ln to remind her that I am the hunter and the gatherer and it was going great until I p*pped a r*ging b*ner halfway through and now she’s convinced it was a sex fetish thing when it wasn’t it was about domination not about sex

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

Life Hack (if you’re allowed to): in the mornings, try Peanut Butter, Banana and Honey on toast. Really quick and easy breakfast and only takes like two minutes if they let you.

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

Me (coming out of the bedroom having cooled myself down after a four hour argument with my girlfriend about what to make for dinner which turned into a full breakdown of every single mistake I’ve ever made and every single time she made me feel inferior): Babe, have you seen the Mestle & Porter?

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

I was today years old when I found out “Islands in the Stream” is about passing a kidney stone!

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I never realised Pootie Tang was about the average Chicago Bears fan

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

When did we stop saying “feed & seed” and start saying “wine, dine & 69”?

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Why are people *in* a movie but *on* a tv show? distract a lady from my dick call that missederection

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

The 90’s: Claire Forlani 🥰 Shannon Sossamon 😍😍 Ione Skye 😘😘😘 2025: Syndey Sweener??? 😔Hopper from Stranger Thing?🤮 iPhone 17 💀💀

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 30/01/2026

BREAKING: RuPaul did a death drop and cracked her bald head open like a par boiled egg on the red carpet for Chris Pratt’s new AI Thriller ‘Mercy’

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

Oh sorry guys I can’t make it tonight I’l don’t wanna miss the premiere of Fearing The Walking Dead Tales: Daryl Dixon vs The Dead City pt. 2 - The Book of Carol Dixon City

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 07/12/2025

They should invent a McRib you can eat with your hands

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

If I misbehaved as a kid my mom would put my gummy multivitamins in the freezer until they got hard and stuck in my throat when I tried to swallow them and she’d say “this is basically the same as what you do to me when you act like a twerp”. I still get brainfreeze when I eat haribo worms.

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

Me in the corner of your kitchen at 5am high off my nut on pingers after yelling at you for 2 hours about how we should totally open our own bar

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

once on a school trip I came out of the bathroom in an NYC train station and did the ace Ventura ‘do NOT go in there!!’ bit but it was because I had seen a homeless man stabbing his friend in there and was scared

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

got so drunk at tgi Fridays they kicked me out for filling up the diaper changing station with piss I thought it was a urinal until I tried to flush it with my sons leg

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Adam Nuttesac @cigaregrets.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

A torpedo in the air but it’s got a smiley face on the front of it. A 55 year old woman riding a Vespa- the twist? She’s Sicilian. Chuck E. Cheese shaking hands with Wendy while Grimace lies disemboweled on the ground in front of them. Welcome to the haunted theatre of the mind. Enjoy the show. 😈

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