iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

my medicine has been delayed since friday! I was confident they'd have it ready today since they finally gave us a date, but we just got told *again* that it's delayed until tomorrow. I'm lucky I was able to get a 1 month supply a couple weeks back, otherwise I'd be lapsing on my hrt. so stressed

100

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

met a slightly older guy in vr and I've gotta say, when you're 40 it's a coin flip if someone older isn't a weird chud. anyway the conversation was cut pretty short when he started going on about his grok girlfriend and how he lets AI handle his finances. refer to my pfp for my immediate expression

110

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

a friend took some random pictures of me while we were talking in vr and I've gotta say this avatar is really growing on me #ccnvr

031

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

was talking with a friend who also has a quest pro and they mentioned that they've rooted their device and got rid of all of meta's junk and I tell you I'm tempted to risk my investment for that convenience

131

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I am 100% a pcvr user but some things are still tied to the quest itself, like playspace boundaries. mine kept glitching out and shifting, which would ruin my trackers because they rely on that information to stay in place. I think(!) I fixed it by clearing my boundary history and making a fresh one

100

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

stretch before dancing in vr. in fact, stretch before doing anything in vr. take a good 5-10 minutes to iron out the kinks! I had the bright idea of "maybe I'll dance a little while stretching" and almost pulled my back, but fortunately I caught it and ironed out the kink with.. more stretching lol

131

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

sometimes you just chill vr, other times your friends force you to change avatars and turn your skin blue for girl's night

010

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

if anybody stumbles across this account, this is an alt space for me to more comfortably discuss, among other things, my transition, depression and vr. 3 topics I'm intimately familiar with lol

000

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

trying out tags, might be some reposts #ccnvr

021

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

some rejects from tonight's shoot with my new outfit. it was a hard decision to scrap a couple of these! I'll have my favorites posted on main after I wake up

000

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I slept so much today. I forced myself to sleep a couple hours after I woke up because I didn't want to dwell on things. then right after the stream I tried it again and wasn't tired at all. I'm really, very much in my head

010

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

patty has been sending me resources for grants and other logistical forms for specific gender affirming care and I'm so grateful but then it also puts my brain in such a dark place because I'm stuck waiting until january to do anything with them, and there's no guarantee they'll even get approved

121

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

wtf the sweetest stray(?) cat randomly ambushed us in the back yard

1121

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

really glad it's the weekend, but really upset lately with how sad I've been feeling at the end of each week

001

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I have the tendency to feel very dysphoric shortly after laser because pre-shed hairs refuse to shave down, sometimes for almost 2 weeks. it was the case this time around, but now that I'm shedding again, my face feels so much smoother this time I want more! 5 weeks between sessions sucks lol

100

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

dear copilot, stop randomly reinstalling and go away forever

000

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

idk if I'm just making shit up in my brain sometimes but it doesn't seem like much of a head scratcher when a new viewer is yapping it up in chat until I offhandedly mention being a trans woman and then they vanish into thin air, never to be heard from again

010

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

W I P trying to establish a bit more of a stream presence on social media, just working on layout and composition. glamour shots will be interchangeable

141

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

they want you to kneel and stand for this while scanning your surroundings, but I'm calibrating my body trackers in the most obtuse way imaginable for a better room map

vive ultimate tracker mounted to a tripod in the center of my playspace

021

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I'm knocking on wood here but the issue seems to have finally been fixed. I rolled the dice with a system update and was able to connect 10 times in a row without that obnoxious bug but even if it's fixed for good, I'm still gonna be anticipating an error every time I boot it up regardless lol

000

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

every time I think I'm done with this round of new emotes I think of like 5 more I want to make

020

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

just gonna bury myself in stream projects today

120

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

dang, vrchat got a new update and you can give your profile and nameplate the obnoxious glowup

120

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

animated and looping, brb screen neat! grabbed a free license gradient off youtube and color corrected it because lazy. not actually looping here because I trimmed the demo

131

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I got really encouraging news over the phone today, tangentially related to my whine session yesterday. does the universe listen when I complain? unlikely. but happenstance leaves me feeling motivated today and january can't get here soon enough

020

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

to do: new emotes new stream layout dance

030

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

this is my typical vr setup for full body. I want two more trackers for my arms but they're like 200 bucks a piece wtf!

my VR equipment resting on a couch cushion. Quest Pro with extended battery and headstrap, controllers with hand straps, 3x Vive Ultimate body trackers

131

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

insurance says I'm not trans enough for surgery consultations until january so I'm posting through it until I stop dwelling on it

110

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

every time I think about doing a photoshoot in vr for new twitch emotes, I end up saying "well maybe just a couple hours in vrchat" and then the sun is coming up

021

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

steam has started rolling out some ui/ux changes to steamvr and I can only imagine this is to streamline the experience before the frame comes out

030

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

been enjoying a new home world in vrc that lets you upload pictures that'll show on various frames throughout the instance. pretty clever, it compiles the uploads into a reference collage before splitting them up

131

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

think I might record some dance videos in vrc soon

131

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

was going to take a nap over an hour ago and decided at the last second, hey, let's update the firmware on my vive ultimates because that'll only take a few minutes. literally just finished updating and recalibrating lol

000

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I'll probably delete this but holy fuck do I need to just vent this off my chest. I don't talk about my kids much online anymore because people get really fucking weird about them (your child abuse 'jokes' are not funny), and I respect their privacy. I fear that only gets worse being trans

141

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I'd love to sleep longer than 4 hours a night this week at some point

010

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

touching on this a bit here, but one of the most meaningful changes I've noticed is that I'm becoming more comfortable looking at past-me as a woman, in spite of my denial-based presentations and perceptions of manhood. sometimes it's really hard to come to terms with my past self through that lens

051

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I think I'm a little over half way done with my laser treatment. they bump the intensity up each session, and my face is redder and bumpier than ever after today's I can't shave for like 3 days until it heals either, it's a pretty big mood killer. euphoria and dysphoria are vying for dominance 🫠

020

Reposted by it's cici

Reweth 🏳️‍⚧️🇨🇦🐦‍⬛ @birb.mom · 28/07/2026

I don't think any media perfectly distills the grief that comes from realizing you're trans in middle age, more than the scene in 'The Last Unicorn' where Molly Grue meets Amalthea, the titular creature. Absolutely guts me every time. Even posting the link has me crying. youtu.be/TLP4fge346o?...

youtu.be

The Last Unicorn - theatrical version - Molly Grue meeting the Unicorn scene uncut

YouTube video by ThoseMoviesIWasTalkingAbout

0104

it's cici @cici-says.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

thinking I might change my avatar's hair up a little, a bit on the fence about the 2nd one. then I have a mountain of alternate outfits that I need to try on

031