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Chris Rifer

@chrisrifer.bsky.social
2.2K followers 56 following 878 posts

Once again retired co-host of Soccer Made in Portland. Author of The Morrison Report. I still like Bruce Springsteen, but now on a new app.

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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Vilahamn? More like we’ve had our fill-of-him. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
The most fun thing about this was that it’s not like there was a signal under the noise. The Timbers have had some great attacks and great goalscorers. It was just pure anomaly. The curse is dead. Long live the curse. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
NGL I’m a little sad. What a hilarious, absurd streak. Congrats to Vincent Janssen on breaking the curse. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
My wife and I moved into a new house last year and we considered immediately upgrading the HVAC system. There were good reasons to do it, but we decided to live in the house for a year before making such a big investment. I think that’s basically what happened with the Timbers this window. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Selfishly sad to see Kelsy go, but it’s a sign of a maturing club that they were willing to do this. It’s a good deal—the type that can be a big net win if they reinvest well. Showing the willingness to make this move also makes PTFC a more attractive destination for lots of players. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Dolly forever.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I’m not even mad about the pronunciation on the broadcast. I think we should just go with “Marty” Cifuentes. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Good luck sailing between the Scylla and Charybdis of these two (via @jeremypeterman.bsky.social) #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Nice reminder that Hanks is really f***ing good. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Woof. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I’m going to venture a guess and suggest that after white professors got busted for academic integrity issues, their former employer universities didn’t face “hard questions about race, diversity and academic hiring.”
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Shorter: He’s available. But only for a haul. (Folks should welcome the “he’s available” part. Notwithstanding recent form, the Timbers’ trophy chances aren’t great. If a good deal comes along, it’s in the club’s interest to take it.) #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Why do Republican politicians tweet in the tone of Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy?
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
#RCTID
static.klipy.com
Grandpa Abe's Confused Exit in The Simpsons
ALT: Grandpa Abe's Confused Exit in The Simpsons
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I genuinely admire how much Schmetzer hates the Timbers—to the point of incoherence following his (surprisingly many) losses to them. I also enjoy the content that comes out of that incoherence, most recently this delightful number. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
The Thorns made a big bet firing Rob Gale after a solid season. They mishandled the hiring process by letting it drag into the season—being bailed out by their interim doing a good job. And now their late-arriving new hire is floundering. A very bad look for Agoos and company right now. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
GO BYE TRAIN! #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
The presupposition underlying the right’s view of everything around COVID, which a lot of media uncritically indulges, is that COVID wasn’t that big of a deal and wasn’t a new, largely unknown, very deadly disease.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Very interesting signing on a few levels. The Timbers were thin at 9, so Jannsen provides immediate competition for Kelsy at that spot. Promising from a leadership perspective, too. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
You can see that the tools are there for Bogere. The game overwhelms her for stretches almost to the point of unplayability—really reminiscent of Obaze in her debut season. But I think I may buy low on some stock. It wouldn’t surprise me if she breaks out, even if it takes a year or two. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
It’s reasonable to expect some turbulence with a manager comes in after the season starts. It’s worrying when a team’s form gets worse and worse the longer he’s in place. Thorns are a mess early in this one. And it’s the continuation of a trend in the Vilahamn era. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Sad to see Mora go. He flew under the radar for national media, but his success has been pretty remarkable—especially for a guy who bounced quite a bit between the XI and the bench. A tremendous Timbers career. Nice to see he’ll get the sendoff he deserves. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
The transfer valuations of players who are about to be out of contract are what they are. But man, I would be livid if I was a ‘Caps fan. Wouldn’t you rather have a core piece—arguably the most core piece—for a plausibly trophy-winning summer and fall than a relatively measly $2 million?
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Kevin Kelsy did it. He found the true .999 xG shot. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Cifuentes isn’t a “bigger” int’l manager. MLS is the biggest league he’s coached in. But there is coaching talent in places like the Championship, Allsvenskan, and Denmark that can succeed in MLS. It’s just a matter of having a sufficiently sophisticated technical operation to identify it. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
This is more or less where I fall. Cifuentes is an interesting hire, but he’s inherently much more of an unknown than any previous Timbers hire. That can be okay—good even, but it puts a lot of onus on Grabavoy to do the homework in assessing him. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
“Mr. President, Javier Milei is on the line…”
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
#RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
5eatt1e is very good. So yesterday shall be known. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The same could be said of Antony and Bassett to significant extents, but my goodness DDC looked like a new player in the second half, in particular. Totally dominated—capped off by deleting Jackson Ragen on the final goal. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Has a coach who was four years younger than one of his starters ever won a game in MLS? #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Ope. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Second yellow for Rothrock if there’s any justice. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
If Jack Cassidy has to use his own two feet to get off the field tonight we riot. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The Timbers are showing in a game what the coach said they’d been working on in training. Huh. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The glass-half-full take on the Timbers’ hiring of Phil Neville was always that his teams all got better after he left. So far so good. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The Timbers have been confusing Seattle with Kelsy and Bassett’s positioning. Kelsy’s totally free — dropping deep, flaring wide, or leading the line depending on where the space is. While Bassett is flattening Seattle’s midfield by playing higher than usual. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
That was maybe the best 10 minutes of soccer the Timbers have played this year. Stumbled out of the blocks, but they’ve been taking it to Seattle for the last ten minutes. Well-deserved goal. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
There are a lot of factors at play here, but today has to be the least-anticipated Seattle away game that I can remember. Not even remotely comparable to what this game used to be. Hoping beyond reason that the Timbers can flip the script on that with their performance tonight. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Where there’s smoke there’s no Fire.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
It definitely doesn’t always happen this way, but Fleming might be the best example of a player taking time to carve out a role on her team. Went from feeling like a signing that didn’t quite hit in Year One to totally indispensable now. Great to see she’s sticking around. #BAONPDX
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
England schadenfreude is so good that we need an English word for it.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
There’s no coming back from this for England. Scotland and Wales are in charge from here on out.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
This is a fair point. Say what folks will about BlueSky generally (it’s objectively only a small slice of the social media universe), there’s indisputably a robust Timbers community on here. So skipping this platform feels like a real choice. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Going to be an interesting final between the team Messi is on against the team that 30% of the American viewing audience thinks he’s on.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
File this away as objectively good news that triggers reflexive anxiety. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Sometimes I think about how MLS’s mid-2010s media and social media environment was so well suited for the 2020s attention economy in ways basically no other league was but the league decided it wanted to replicate other leagues’ mid-2000s state media landscapes instead.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Oh, yeah, it is absolutely not coming home. #RCTID
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
*extreme boomer voice* It kind of stinks that every crowd reaction shot after a goal is just a wall of people with their phones up.
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Chris Rifer @chrisrifer.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Video Argentina Referee.
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