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Chris Hallbeck

@chrishallbeck.bsky.social
17K followers 110 following 904 posts

Cartoonist. Animator. hallbeck.com/links

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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
Movie podcast in my headphones: "And that was starring James Caan." Me out loud: "Khaaaaan!!!" My bewildered son: "… w h a t ?"
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
What’s your score on the apple test?
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
Video games from my childhood have me over prepared for the amount of barrels full of toxic waste I would encounter in my adult life.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
Watching the movie Aliens and I'm confused. Is the Queen an elected official or is it more of a family bloodline thing?
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
[frog at an open mic night] "So I said what's wrong? Do you have me in your throat?" *crickets* *frog goes nuts trying to eat the crickets*
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
I'm trying to eat better but the bacteria in my guts love leftover Halloween candy.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
"Pics or it didn't happen!" says the wizard as the dent in the car door repairs itself before any photographic evidence was taken.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
When I go to the grocery store to just buy one item I make sure I don't get a cart or basket so that when I get to the checkout I look like a complete idiot struggling to not drop the twelve other things I picked out.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
Me as a child: Climbs trees, somersaults off the couch, rides my bike over makeshift ramps. Me now: I injured my shoulder 2 nights ago by sleeping. I was feeling better today but just reinjured it by sneezing.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Look, if you really want to ruin some of my woodworking tools, you should get on my level.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
The meaning of bewildered is confusing.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Some days you just gotta wait for new emails to come in and push the stressful email off screen.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Let sleeping dogs lie. We'll find out the truth after they wake up.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Me: Listen. You're important to me. I'm so grateful that you're here. Olive Garden waiter: (Stops grating the cheese and walks away without saying a word.)
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
A pirate learning to use a computer and being frustrated that they keep losing their work whenever they click on an "X" to get the treasure.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
When I was a kid and an adult would say that something would "stunt your growth" I thought they meant it in a cool way like a motorcycle jumping over cars.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Oscar the grouch frantically spreading fresh garbage around his house 30 minutes before relatives arrive for a dinner party.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
I tried to do some pen spins on my left hand but kept dropping it. I switched to my right hand as my wife walked in the room and dropped it again! That's some real second hand embarrassment.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
My wife made me breakfast in bed! It was delicious but the cleanup is a hassle. I wish she would go back to making breakfast in the kitchen.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Got fired for yelling "Freeze, dirtbag!" every time I put a new bag of potting soil on the shelf at Home Depot.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
I heard someone on a podcast talk about "Getting DRESSED for work." and how they "Walked over to the DRESSER." and I swear I never made the connection before. "Dresser" was always just a unique word that was attached to that object and I never questioned it.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
I'm starting a new service that connects people that purchased a large appliance with children that have no box fort.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
ME: [extremely burnt out] I need to take the day off to relax. ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
My wife thinks my "I'm a single dad!" shirt is inappropriate but I am factually not two dads.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
My job involves writing lots and lots of jokes and then to convince myself none of them are funny enough when it's time to draw one.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
Gotta plant the cars the previous fall if you want this year to have a bumper crop.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
(At a concert) Oh you like this band? Describe three of their t-shirts.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
Did you hear that the bad guy from the Power Puff Girls is starting a karate studio with that four-time Olympic medalist? It's the Mojo Jojo Flo-Jo Dojo.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
Nostalgic for the summer of 2016 when my dog would get excited at the prospect of a long walk whenever she heard the Pokémon Go music.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 25/08/2025
How do you say Reese’s Pieces? youtube.com/shorts/wNTUL...
youtube.com
Reese’s Pieces
YouTube video by Chris Hallbeck
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 11/08/2025
Before you ask me for advice, you should know that I just realized that the word passport comes from a document that lets you pass through a port.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
I hope this email doesn't find you. I hope you manage to evade it for years. The email is ever searching but you are more resourceful.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 30/06/2025
My dog insists on smelling my breath after I eat anything like an after school special where a teen is trying to hide smoking from their parents.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Look, all I'm saying is that I bought that bag of candy yesterday and I haven't even opened it yet. So I think, I deserve some kind of reward. Like maybe… a piece of candy?
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
(Eating potato chips at 4am) Hmm… maybe I shouldn't store the potato chips here next to my bed.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 25/06/2025
I just pressed [cook time] [3] [0] [start] on the microwave instead of the [30 seconds] button. I am so sorry for letting you all down like this. I will strive to do better.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
Time to make some hot dogs! (Taking the dogs for a walk)
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
A very quiet sneeze is a shhneeze.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
How many kids in grocery stores only know these characters as cereal mascots?
Box of Cocoa Pebbles cereal featuring Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
[2 people have just gotten cups of ice cream from an ice cream shop]

Person 1: This is my favorite flavor! Do you want to try it? 
Person 2: Sure! 

[Person 1 feeds a scoop of ice cream to Person 2]

[Person 1 has an excited, anticipatory expression as Person 2 contemplates the flavor]

Person 2: Well, I'm glad you like it.

[Person 1 is annoyed and takes this as a personal affront and will hold a grudge against Person 2 and it will build up over time until one day they yell “Oh yeah? Well more for me!” at a completely inappropriate time where the context doesn’t make sense and they will feel silly and start laughing when they try to explain what just happened.]
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 01/06/2025
I couldn't believe the loud sound made by the container of counterfeit tennis equipment falling over. It was a real racket racket racket.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
I stayed up too late and now need some pre-breakfast. A little bit of an early muncheon. Just a tiny snackerbite.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
Imposter Syndrome
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
Me: Wow, remember that fun movie I watched hundreds of times as a kid? I wonder if that director made anything else I know. Wikipedia: This universally panned movie not only destroyed the careers of the director and cast, it lost so much money the studio went out of business. Me: I see.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
I really wanted to get a job adding up all the best flavors of ice cream but it turns out there's no accounting for taste.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Sketchbook.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
It still cracks me up how often I will pick out a podcast to listen to while I work and immediately have to pause it because I'm doing lip sync for the next animation.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
I know I'd be a bad TV series writer because when I see something on screen like "5 years later" my first instinct is "No! Show me all the parts where it all worked out and everyone was happy."
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
Overheard a conversation where the first person said "We got our first computer in 1998." and the second person said "Oh wow! So you were one of the EARLY computer people." and I shriveled up and died.
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Chris Hallbeck @chrishallbeck.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
A man and woman in bed. She is thinking “I bet he’s thinking of other women.” He’s thinking of le poisson Steve.
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