Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 31/03/2025Saying buh-bye is 100x more sane than full ass pronouncing bye-bye 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 28/03/2025Even with all the light pollution, I can still count 21 stars in the sky waiting at the bus stop in South Philly 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 26/03/2025I've had enough ppl compliment my cheekbones to know I have no fucking clue how cheekbones work 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 17/03/2025Lately I've had these moments, and by moments I often mean nightmares, where I feel like it's only a matter of time before I'm a fugitive of the law. And I feel so ill prepared for that. 100
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 07/03/2025I realize this is probably my hottest take ever, but the fact that I just got to switch my Netflix profile picture to a fiber art Bulbasaur kinda makes the price increase worth it. #isaidwhatisaid 011
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 02/03/2025If I can get through that year where everyone was obsessed with Africa by Toto again for some goddamn reason, then you can get through this queen 100
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 16/02/2025Was recently described as "a doll with a fat ass and a warm smile" and idk fam I think we've made it. Like, do any other goals really matter? I'll be ascending any day now I'm sure. Make your farewells heartfelt but brief, I've got lots of basking to do 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 13/02/2025I haven't had every flavor of uncrustable yet, but I have had every temperature, which is just as fulfilling actually 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 12/02/2025It's day 5 of surgery recovery and in that time I have missed celebrating the birds winning the Superbowl, my 1yr anniversary, and playing in the snow. If you have anything else cool going on can you please just wait a couple of weeks!?!? 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 12/02/2025I can't think about Norma Jean being considered dad rock please don't do this to me 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 06/02/2025Someday all these posts will be compiled into a bad stand-up routine and you'll feel really special for reading them early 110
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 06/02/2025I speak for fellow owl enthusiasts everywhere when I say how disappointed we were to discover that their supposed city turned out to be some white guy named Adam singing about winged creatures that aren't even owls. 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 05/02/2025Surgery in two days and I really just have one question: How much money do you think I need to slip the nurse to get them to let my anesthesia run for a little longer than necessary so I can get a full 8 hours? Like, is it insulting to start with $20? 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 04/02/2025Cheetah print and hoop earrings are the peanut butter and jelly of New Jersey 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 03/02/2025If it's been 3 or more weeks since you last told me you're not mad at me, it's time to pay your anxious attachment friendship tax. 130
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 30/01/2025My gf of nearly a year just said I make her heart soar. As in flying high and feeling free. 🥹 Damn I love being gay 040
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Also, this is a dramatic poem about me not waiting long enough for my nail polish to dry before going to bed and I feel like that was missed 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Why does everyone say they're donating their body to science when I know that wasn't y'all's fav subject in school. I've decided I'm donating my body to marching band 020
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 28/01/2025Her fingernails will forever be scarred by the textured patterns of her pillowcase becoming indented upon the nearly-dry-enough clear coat polish She awakens in anguish 100
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 27/01/2025We interrupt this week of pure dystopian bleakness to say 🦅GO BIRDS🦅 030
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 24/01/2025I think I can see my sleeping bag! Which was awkwardly named Torrey 110
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 23/01/2025I've obviously been cursed by an ex because every time I'm on a cute date and wanna smooch, my lips can't not be dry and crusty, but if alone in bed at 2am they are the softest and smoothest they have ever been. 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Hear me out; low quality pics with the people you love most are actually the cutest Like sorry we couldn't be bothered to find the perfect lighting, background, and poses. We were actually way too busy being present and loving the hell out of each other for the short fleeting time we have together. 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Posts with photos are clearly inferior and boring, but I really liked how this outfit came together 030
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 16/01/2025And maybe you will someday! Life is a highway afterall 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 11/01/2025Don't get overheated in January. You will crave a rocket pop to cool down with and you will not have one and there's no ice cream truck coming to save you 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 09/01/2025I know everything I post about on here is really intimidatingly cool, but the truth is in real life I'm actually even cooler. Very unapproachable and constantly surrounded by a massive posse of elite hotties so don't even try. 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 07/01/2025Thank you for saying this! I got icked out so many times. Like you're supposed to distract me from late stage capitalism, not remind me of it in the worst way 100
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 06/01/2025I've accidentally started watching every movie or show that Blake Lively has ever been in. It's not celeb worship, it's autistic hyper-fixation don't worry I'll be done in 2 weeks. 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 06/01/2025Today I get a new roommate. She has the same exact birthday as me and has the same name as my ex wife. I'm quite certain I have no freewill and am being controlled by sitcom writers please send help. 120
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 05/01/2025Movies should be legally required to disclose when they are going to contain the death of a pet 120
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 04/01/2025I've lived on the East Coast for a hot minute now and have tried LOTS of pizza. My hot take is that Domino's is still fantastic. I prefer supporting small businesses, but the #pizza elitism out here is just kinda silly. 030
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 03/01/2025The intrusive thought of the day (that did NOT win btw) is "I could thaw out this uncrustable a lot quicker if I put it in my pants" 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 02/01/2025How much money do I need to invest in skincare for my pores before they become riches? P.S. I can't believe sober me thinks this is funny enough to post. 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Silly procrastinators posting about doing their last workout of 2024 today. I did mine WEEKS ago! 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Brush those teeth Timmy! The baddies love clean teeth! 000
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 31/12/2024The day has finally come where everyone is making their New Year's Rizzolitions to see how many baddies they can bag in 2025. Good luck sigmas, and may the rizz be ever in your favor 110
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 31/12/2024My toxic (to myself) trait is that I constantly find myself thinking about people who used to be in my life, but for whatever reason I can no longer speak to, ever curious about how they are doing, worried about them, wanting the best for them, hoping they smile often. 010
Chloe @chloejo9192.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Y'all I really messed up this time. I made a terrible decision that's led to turmoil I could have never predicted, and I'm not sure I have the strength to undo things. I...I turned on the auto play setting on Netflix again, and episodes of gossip girl just won't stop playing 😭😭😭 130
