iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 05/10/2026

I assume this is short for 'humanities,' but this email about someone who will be coming to visit Cardiff Uni made me giggle.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 04/10/2026

Hmm, I wonder what message middle-of-the-night writing-in-her-notes-app Chindi left for us last night? ...O..K..? 😁

Screenshot of a Notes app: "Do not trust the flowers. A lemon is not a bird."

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 02/10/2026

OK, 'chinned Alani' might be my new favourite incorrect version of my name

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 21/09/2026

To be fair, I sometimes do feel like I'm more of a conceptual theatre piece than a human being.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 20/09/2026

The full BTS from this week's episode is available now for Patreon subscribers! Here are some highlights: Like movies, psychology and sociology? Find us on patreon.com/thatfinalgirllife -- all episodes are free; paid tiers get BTS content.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 12/09/2026

Want more interesting discussions in your life? Come along! www.eventbrite.com/e/black-mirr...

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 09/09/2026

Therapy friends: our next discussion group is about griefbots from a psychoanalytic perspective, presented by Fahime Haijabadi who has recently written a paper on the topic. Come along! Tickets are pay what you want. www.eventbrite.com/e/black-mirr...

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 01/09/2026

PhD students doing their daily affirmations like 🙏🏼I am ✨NORMAL✨ and ✨SANE✨ and my living room does not look like something out of A Beautiful Mind 🙏🏼

A living room with many many books. There is a large desk with piles of paper and notebooks and even more books. There are pieces of paper with notes on them stuck along the bookshelves which line the far wall. The walls are painted black, the ceiling orange, and the floor is grey wood. A leopard print armchair is in front of the desk. It is turned to face the dieection of the bookshelves, which are on the wall to the right of the desk.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 21/08/2026

We get a lot of things wrong here in the UK, but one of the things that genuinely makes me love this country is its population's bleak sense of humour, as evidenced by the comments on this post...

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 20/08/2026

Wait how did you get actual footage from my life

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 20/08/2026

What I am up to this afternoon? Oh nothing much, just adding some totally normal listings to my totally normal Etsy store 😂 www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Chin...

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 19/08/2026

Romani friends: if you'd like to share your thoughts on what it's like being LGBTQIA+ and Roma in the UK, Regan is still looking for participants. And you get a £25 gift voucher for participating 🙂 link here: app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/bournemout...

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 15/08/2026

You know how I make notes to myself when I'm half asleep and then don't know what they mean later? ...anyone have any ideas for this one? 😂

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 09/08/2026

My Letterboxd is looking characteristically cheery 😂

Under the heading 'Favourite films' are four movies: Obsession, Men, Hereditary and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Below that, under the heading 'Recent activity' are four more movies: The Last House on the Left, A Serbian Film, The Last House on the Left again, and Hostel.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 28/06/2026

Recording a podcast when you have Sjøgren's disease, aka testing out every available mouth noise de-clicker on the market 😅 (I settled on RX 11 De-click from iZotope, using Logic Pro as my DAW).

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 24/06/2026

Trying to remember if there were any disabled characters in Argentinian film 'Aterrados' (publicised in English as 'Terrified') for some lists I'm making about disabled representation in horror, I googled 'disabled aterrados terrified' and got a very sweet message from the AI 😁

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 22/06/2026

Finally got around to updating my Nextdoor business page but honestly, the urge to put myself down as 'Mulch' was strong. Heading towards 36 degrees in London this week, apparently...

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 14/06/2026

Powerchair wheels are smaller so this wouldn't work for me but I have serious wheel envy 🛞🤩 (pic via Emily Swanson on Flickr: bit.ly/4xsghBD)

A goth femme wearing a black top, fishnet tights and DM boots sits in a wheelchair which has wheels whose spokes look like blades. Their hair is teal-coloured and they are looking at their phone.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 07/06/2026

No YOU made an infographic of your work history because YOU'VE always done too many jobs concurrently 😅

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 05/06/2026

I’ve tried to watch Skinamarink three times but this is the first time I’ve managed to finish it because I finally have a blackout blind, which it kind of requires. Jump scares don’t usually get me but yeah, I got got 😅

A creepy, sepia-toned shot, taken from the ground, of a carpet leading from a room into a hallway. The room is dark but a light shines from the hall.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 02/06/2026

tfw hmrc's like, hey, do you want to open a special savings account that will help you to budget? so you click 'yes' and log in and they're like... oh no girl you're too poor 😂 #PhDlife

A screenshot of a gov.uk web page which reads:

Help to Save

You're not eligible for a Help to Save account

This is because your household income -- in your last monthly assessment period -- was less than £1.00. Your Universal Credit payments are not considered to be income.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 30/05/2026

Look if it’s a film in German then it counts as working on my thesis I don’t make the rules

Close up of a woman in the countryside wearing a wreath on her head

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 06/05/2026

🌱🌷🌹🪻🌱 * b a x t a l o ~ e d e r l e z i * 🪷🌺🌸🌼🌱

A tulip flower surrounded by lit pastel coloured tea lights

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 06/05/2026

"This guy's writing seems interesting, I wonder what his philosophy work focuses on... oh." What can I say, I have a vibe. 😂

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 28/04/2026

totally coherent notes on my thesis dot jpeg

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 28/04/2026

I have just realised that my thesis is making an even bolder claim than I had realised, and that this might be why my supervisors keep finding it impossible to understand where I’m coming from. …how’s your week going 😅

A chaotic desk full of papers and notebooks.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 18/04/2026

alors je commence à lire Lacan et… euh… 😶 😁

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 15/04/2026

In Australia in the early 1900s it was an arrestable offence to be an "uncontrollable child"

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 06/04/2026

Rromale!! Romano film ‘Amaro Drom’ ohtoto aprilo (amaro romano divvus!) Kana avela? DzelemDzelemProduction po YouTube vai TikTok.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 06/04/2026

Ce commentaire sur "Comment lire Lacan," livre de Slavoj Žižek... 😄

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 01/04/2026

I read this paragraph so many times in my attempt to understand it that even my computer gave up and fell asleep 😂🤯🫠 #Lacan #PhDlife #philosophy

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 14/03/2026

Presented at a conference for other existential psychotherapists and philosophers this afternoon, so obviously I had to dress appropriately 😁

t-shirt that reads 'my unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard'

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 10/03/2026

brb just gonna scream this through a loudspeaker in every street until ppl start to understand it

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 05/03/2026

The outdoor wheelchair has gone to the great wheelchair graveyard in the sky. Thank you for your service, friend ❤️ (Now we have to see how long I’m stuck indoors before the NHS gets me a new one…) P.S. Yes, this wheelchair brand is called ‘Karma.’ Which feels like an… interesting… decision 😂

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 05/03/2026

I have a conference presentation next weekend and a thesis chapter due the week after that. So anyway, who’s heard of fridgescaping? 😂

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 04/03/2026

Hmm, which part of my thesis am I working on today? ...ah yes, I remember.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 02/03/2026

Admittedly there aren’t loads of advantages to being in a wheelchair, but one of them is that if you have the right equipment you can do your PhD in the park ⛲️ ☀️💚

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 02/03/2026

“What are you writing about today, Chindi?” “Oh, just some nonsense.” “Don’t be self-deprecating.” “…I’m not.” 😁

A notebook with some writing about the philosophy of nonsense.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 01/03/2026

At the end of each writing session I make a few notes about where I plan to go next. Opening my thesis doc today has informed me that I am planning to think about Reddit's r/cryptiddogs forum, pareidolia, the backrooms, and the sacricore aesthetic, among other things.

White text on a black background reads:

r/cryptiddogs
- what makes a dog a cryptiddog?
What's the thing called where you see faces in stuff?

Perceived (/uncertain) intent?

Can be resolvable but doesn't have to be. If resolved, stops being uncanny. ('the collapse.' -- falling?)

LIMINALITY

Backrooms

-- religion? (liminality + sacricore)

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 01/03/2026

Today in "notes I half-woke-up and wrote in the middle of the night because they apparently felt very important at the time"

The words 'phantom TROUSERS' in a Notes app

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 23/02/2026

HELP I WAS GOOGLING HORRIFYING PICTURES FOR MY PHD RESEARCH AND I SOMEHOW ACCIDENTALLY MADE THIS MY VIVALDI BACKGROUND AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO UNDO IT 😂😂😱

A demonic-looking goat/wolf like creature with big teeth and empty staring eyes forms the background image of an internet browser.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 10/02/2026

When you're doing your annual admin for your PhD funding body but they happened to catch you on a day when you're sick of being nice about feeling sidelined all the time. #phdlife

A screenshot of a questionnaire. The question reads:

'EDI Question 2: Are there any topics that you feel should be covered in future EDI centred panels/ conversations we may run? If so, are there any speakers ou might recommend?

Please list, if so.

The text in the answer box reads:

It would be really nice if we could be included in the general stuff rather than siphoned off into a 'these people are incovenient but they help us look inclusive' side panel.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 05/02/2026

Yeah ok, I’ll admit that sometimes when I’m trying to keep three notebooks open in the right places whilst also typing up a chapter I do see that those of you who say I should digitise things might have a point 😁

A chaotic mess of open and closed notebooks on a desk in front of a laptop which is open at a folder named 'Thesis'.

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 31/01/2026

Looking for a place to stay as a wheelchair user like

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 14/01/2026

If anyone's interested in being part of a psych research study, this one is currently recruiting. Looking for people who: - identify as female - aged 18-35 - experienced sexual abuse as a child - have been diagnosed with BPD or EUPD (regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the diagnosis)

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 10/12/2025

...and then of course, when I get to this bit, this happens:

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 02/12/2025

The error messages on the Freud Museum shop are something else 😁

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Chindilani Filifilidh Andekalithan @chindilani.substack.com · 06/08/2025

Well, it's official: I passed year two (at Southampton philosophy we have to pass a viva every year because we like to be ✨extra✨) and am now enrolled in year three. Of seven, because I'm part time. Expected end year: 2030, which when I applied for the PhD felt like ages away and now doesn't.

Screenshot showing enrolment on year three of a Doctorate in Philosophy.

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