cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 1hI HATE ticking time bombs! I am AGAINST them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 10hof all the gums in the world, the floss had to hurt MINE?? 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 11ha cyclops has 1 eye am I a biclops?? I have 2 eyes (for now) does that make me a biclops 100
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 12hsome nights your penis gets very high strung and you have to calm it down a little 100
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 04/10/2026they’re bringing pam bondi back for a day next week so the president can “take another gander” 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 04/10/2026it was great when you all pretended like you were going to give a fuck about halloween this year, 10/10 very funny 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I feel like I should like the grateful dead and I just don’t 110
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I’m with the bois spraying @Axe and showing off our tats as we fly a monster energy kite that’s too small to see from this carousel 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I agree with pete hegsmith, our missiles should not be gluten free and should definitely have testicles hanging from them 001
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026guy who vehemently defends the boomers as “the *real* greatest generation” and it’s just because he really really likes “still the one” by orleans 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026they’re vacuuming and squeegeeing various crevices on donald trump Monday afternoon 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026woman make sex joke, 300+ flirty dude replies DISGUSTING 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026(god) alright here’s the deal: you’re born an idiot, and it’s up to you to fix that 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Becoming the world’s first boner prophet “I just know when one’s about to Pop Off™️” 😎 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 03/10/2026yngwie malmsteen is coming out with a new peptide 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 02/10/2026fuck, marry, kill? rudy giuliani, rudy giuliani, santa claus 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 02/10/2026(guy w no political opinion but is always surrounded by chuds) okay I’ll bite, who is zohran hussein mamdani 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Rage Against The Machine That Keeps Banging My Wife !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 02/10/2026teens everywhere are using the dangerous new phrase ‘laughs in polio’ 001
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 02/10/2026So what’s more dangerous in 2026 smoking the marihuaña cigarette? or flossing? 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 02/10/2026like the surinam toad, donald trump will be birthing several large bundt cakes from his rotund hide for decorating tomorrow morning 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Guy who cuts his life into pieces as a *first* resort lol psycho 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 01/10/2026sending my love via heavily armed carrier pigeon 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 01/10/2026(spooky question to ask your friends as if this is a routine thing that happens) do you guys ever…die 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 01/10/2026can’t sleep. thinking about pat smear smoking 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 30/09/2026So who wears the, uhh, pants? garments? in your situationship 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 29/09/2026you need to let your frontal lobe fully develop 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 29/09/2026garth brooks is coming out of retirement to kill a few more people 001
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 29/09/2026do old guys still get together after years not seeing each other and say stuff like “Hank ya look like hell!” and “Jack, you sonofabitch! I always thought your mother was a real bitch” 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 29/09/2026shitting the bed more like NOT shitting the bed, that’s what I’M all about NOT doing that 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Whoa!! a bunch of sex just happened! Ewww, a bunch of sex just happened… see? it could go either way 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Lets just say ,If you could grow 1,00,000,000x your size and sexxier, would you embrace and fuck the planet earth 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 28/09/2026doing a little dance every time after tweeting the dumbest fucking thing you’ve ever seen 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I inserted Claude Code™️ into an #NFT and it did an elizabeth holmes voice and called me a fat baby, I(???????????) 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 27/09/2026we’re out front in lawn chairs wearing wifebeaters drinking straight BBQ sauce when, suddenly, the rapture 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 27/09/2026we need to take the tech bros out for a bar crawl and adjust them to humanity 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I present Chris Hansen with the most gorgeous hand-drawn portrait he could ever lay eyes on, then fear for my life as he violently slaps it to the ground while he shrieks something like “AGAHHFRAMMAHG” and I run away into some woods 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I’m a freak in the sheets No, stay away, I mean I’m really, really ugly under these sheets 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 26/09/2026my car’s name is heather how do I know she’s a lady? take a look at these jalopian tubes 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 26/09/2026briefly knew a guy named Balthazar. big fan of myrrh, guy was a myrrh freak 000
cactus nate zmuda @chaosgent.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I’m pitching Aileen Wuornos: The Animated Series on monday 000
