iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

oh how I want to lick every inch of you :)

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

Anytime- send me a note - love to stay in touch

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

Long time no chat big guy - looking great

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

Looking great handsome - happy valentines day to you

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

You make me drool - love to chat with you

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Reposted by @cdnpudge.bsky.social

Axel @axelthewere.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

The Encyclopedia of Transformations Patreon will be launching on Monday 13th Jan 2025 at 12pm GMT We are pleased to announce a competition to win a free lifetime membership! Like, share and repost this post to enter a raffle that will be drawn at 11am on Monday! - Axel & @randwulf.bsky.social

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

While we have never talked I fully understand your feelings - if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to reach out

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 24/10/2023

That's so great - I miss chatting with you two

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

So here I sit - living in my head and watching time pass and the world pass. I am alone and thats all I feel there will ever be for me....

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

I have done some things in my life, amazing things. School, a very long tough road but I graduated and did what no one believed I could. I now have the dream job I always wanted since age 5. Is it enough though? To live only to work - thats what I do....

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

Then comes the anger that I still feel these same emotions that I have been dealing with for more than 30 years of my life...so I stop feeling anything and just continue to limp forward. My life is a shell, I exist without actually experiencing anything.

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

So to defend myself and just barely limp along I do not feel anything. I have little joy, I really do not experience excitement or know how to do anything. If I start to feel anything then I begin to panic and I begin to feel the humiliation and rejection and fear...

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

begin to experience anything. I feel that I am not capable of facing anything until these overwhelming emotions are gone. Yet there is the catch. If I allow myself to feel anything then I become so overwhelmed I cannot function...

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

There is a disconnect in me that I do not know how to rectify. Therapists and experts want me to confront the feelings of fear and experience new things so that I am not afraid and able to move forward. I need for these extreme feelings of fear and humiliation and anger to go away before I can...

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

Overwhelming panic, fear, anger emotions at the mere thought of going out or doing anything besides living in my little bubble. I feel that those I talk with are frustrated with me, that they see my lack of progress and that this is me giving up before even trying....

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

Either I have failed therapy or therapy has failed me. Years in and out with numerous different doctors and therapists and many different approaches to try to find ways to help me. I'm tired...tired that things do not significantly improve for me and tired that I constantly feel the same...

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

In the past most social media stuff for me is sitting silently in the background - a few posts and mostly bear/chubby porn...I do not know that this site will be any different. For now though I'm just writing out what is in my head.

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cdnpudge.bsky.social @cdnpudge.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

So - anyone that knows me knows I deal with a lot of shit in my head. Diagnosed as social phobic, severe clinical depression, cPTSD are just the top ones. I am not in a great place right now - I do not even know why I'm writing this. Likely to delete....

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