CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 07/07/2026#BREAKING President Donald Trump announces a permanent ban on Belgian waffles at all American breakfast and brunch establishments, following the USA's loss to Belgium at the 2026 FIFA World Cup 020
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 02/04/2026Jared Isaacman, the highest-ranking official at NASA, held a press-conference to celebrate the successful launch of the Artemis II. "It's a huge moment, a true milestone for us at NASA. It's great to finally launch a rocket towards the moon, like actually for real this time" 000
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 09/12/2025#BREAKING The Finch LRT failed to qualify for the 2026 World's Fastest Train Championship, after tournament officials deemed the LRT, "too slow to provide legitimate competition for the other trains" Canada has yet to medal at the WFTC. 000
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 01/12/2025After banning speed cameras, Doug Ford has now floated banning red light cameras next. "It's just another example of the cities wanting to take money from the little guy. If we wanna stop people from running red lights, let's just make the red lights bigger" 100
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 25/10/2025#BREAKING US President Donald Trump announces he will raise tariffs on Canada by another 10% if the Blue Jays take Game 2 tonight. "This is America's pastime. Enough is enough" #CBCSports 100
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 21/10/2025#BREAKING For the first time in history, a man wearing an Auston Matthews jersey has won a Game 7 #CBCSports 071
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 11/09/2025Many public figures in America condemned the shooting of conservative podcaster Charlie Kirk. "This is not who we are", said people from a country that refuses to stop school shootings, locks up migrants in concentration camps, and actively abets genocide in Palestine. 010
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 09/09/2025Ontario is considering implementing a subscription service for "free passes" that forgive tickets from speed cameras. For $15 per month, drivers will be able to nullify up to 3 camera tickets. A premium-tier subscription ($50/month) will give unlimited free passes on all speed cameras in Ontario. 383
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 06/09/2025A group of religious historians have announced a newly discovered fringe sect of Christianity that existed in 14th century Europe. "The distinguishing element of this group appears to be it's extreme devotion to chastity. All forms of sexual contact were strictly forbidden." 200
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 14/08/2025After the 401 Tunnel, Premier Ford says he's going to build a bridge from Toronto to Niagara "Well I was driving the wife down for some wine tasting, and we were sitting in traffic all day. Told her, this is why I stick to beer. She didn't take too kindly to that, so now we gotta build this bridge" 200
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 13/08/2025A right wing YouTuber groaned about the number of "Indians" in Toronto in a recent viral video. Though it should be noted he was at the TD Festival of South Asia. "This isn't the Canada I grew up in" was a common refrain. Though it should be noted the festival has ran for over 20 years. 120
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 21/07/2025Congress is working on bipartisan legislation that would ban showing shots of audience members at concerts and sporting events. "The Coldplay CEO incident was a wake-up call in the business community. No one wants to get caught like that. This ban might be heavy-handed, but it's necessary" 300
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 21/06/2025Pakistan to nominate Trump for Nobel Peace Prize 200
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 05/04/2025Nintendo announced the Switch 2 will have a built-in AI companion, Pal2. "From giving you personalized real-time tips in your games, to beating levels or bosses you're stuck on, Pal2 is here for you. It can even drive for you in Mario Kart so that you can just enjoy the visual experience" 000
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 27/03/2025At his latest campaign stop, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre attempted to clarify his stance on Canada-US relations, stating that under his watch, "Canada will never become the 51st state" However, Poilievre went on to add that he "will not rule out Canada becoming the 52nd state" 300
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 06/03/2025#BREAKING Ontario Premier Doug Ford says his next act of retaliation against US tariffs will be to cancel daylight savings in Ontario. "This Sunday, if those yahoos in Washington wanna call me up to negotiate at 8AM, well I'll still be in bed. Because it'll only be 7AM in Toronto" 200
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 28/02/2025Doug Ford is jubilant in his post-victory address at PC HQ: "Well folks, any way you look at it, the numbers don't lie. It's a 3-peat. Not even Trump could do it - he went 2 for 3, Doug went 3 for 3. Trump may be sitting on his golden throne or what-have-you, but Doug Ford sits in people's hearts." 000
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 28/02/2025#BREAKING Brampton West Liberal candidate Andrew Kania reveals he attempted to make a last-minute backroom coalition deal with the PCs to "ensure Pushpek Sidhu [Independent candidate] doesn't win the riding" 100
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Valentine's Drama? A winter storm is convincing Torontonians to stay home this long weekend, but it's also throwing a wrench into Valentine's plans - and rapidly becoming the source of relationship drama. "It's either I drive 2 hours to see my girl, or catch heat from her. I can't win" - Anonymous 000
CBC News (Parody Account) @cbcnewz.bsky.social · 14/02/2025Some of the hottest bars from the new Drake: "I used to be 7 watchin Treehouse, now I'm 37 smokin trees in my house" "Let me lay you down slow girl, slower than the Eglinton LRT that's how it'll go girl" "I'm from the city of the CN Tower cuz I'm big, she call my piece the CN Tower cuz it's big" 010
