iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Employee Handbook Section 4.3: Dress Code. Pants must appear to have structure without restricting movement. Shoes must suggest competence while enabling flight. #cbds #tech #leadership #employeehandbook #dresscode

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Our 'Fail Less' program has been running for 6 years with no measurable outcomes. We consider this a success. #cbds #tech #leadership

Half a face, tiny people, circular patterns, yellow.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

MEMO: Time zones are deprecated to increase synchronous spontaneity. All meetings now scheduled in “Company Time”, based on executive wakefulness, market volatility and “vibe”. Yesterday was 34 hours. Tomorrow we’ll redo Tuesday. Your calendar will auto-update. Payroll adjustments WIP. #cbds #tech

Illustration of a man in between people and things. what's going on here? I don't really know...

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

We love our customers. We do not touch them. HR has been clear. #cbds #tech #culture #hr

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Employee Handbook Section 7.2: Birthday Celebrations. Acknowledgment mandatory. Singing volume below 75dB will trigger ‘reinvestigation of cultural fit’. #cbds #culturefit #employeehandbook

illustration of a man singing at the top of their lungs

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

All plants now receive monthly 1:1s with our new Head of Botanical Resources. #cbds #tech #vision #officeplant

A desk, a few plants, a meaningless bar graph, face in the background, a man at a desk.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Preliminary data suggests high-performing flora correlates with 4% increase in human worker "vibe receptivity." We are exploring reverse: whether underperforming employees improve when seated near overperforming ferns. Early results: mixed. One employee asked to be "repotted near the window." #cbds

Illustration of an office worker with a plant growing out of their head

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

The Snake Plant in Sales exceeded wilting expectations and has been promoted to Biophilic Wellness Lead, overseeing three junior succulents. #cbds #officeplant #plant #tech #innovation

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

Our Ficus in Accounting (employee ID: 8847-B) has been flagged for "consistently underperforming" — 0.3cm growth in Q2 against a target of 1.2cm. It has been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan and moved to a window-adjacent "stretch role.” #cbds #tech #innovation #accounting #officeplant

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

After 18 months of R&D, we're proud to announce company-wide Plant Performance Indexing. Every photosynthetic team member now carries quarterly OKRs: growth velocity, leaf engagement, and ambient oxygen contribution. #cbds #tech #innovation #plant #performance

Illustration of potted plants near a laptop and some books

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

"We growth hacked our Glassdoor rating by making leaving employees sign 'I loved it here' as their password to get their final check" #cbds #tech #innovation #growthhack

Illustration of a worker with a skull for a head, some other people standing around, the back of a bull, the head of a horned horse?

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Zoom Introduces 'Authenticity Filter' AI now generates real-time fake smiles, sympathetic eyebrow movements, and "mm-hmm" nods synchronized to speaker cadence. #cbds #tech #innovation #zoom

Illustration of smiling / laughing faces on Zoom

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

People don’t buy your product. They buy a narrative in which they are the kind of person who buys your product. #cbds #tech #leadership #product

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

We've gamified layoffs! Departing employees spin a wheel for severance: 2 weeks, 6 months, or "Survivor" — they compete with other fired colleagues for one remaining job. Viewership on internal stream: 94%. #cbds #tech #innovation #layoffs

Workers standing in front of a spiral-y wheel

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

We couldn't be more excited to share this with you. The team worked incredibly hard. Please celebrate them by not submitting a support ticket today. #cbds #tech #support

Illustration of a man looking out at a path up

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

We A/B tested the cancel button. Version B was very small. Version B won. #cbds #tech #leadership #abtesting

illustration of a man showing you laptops

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

Turn with me now to the Arbitration Clause. You have waived your right to a jury of your peers. You did this so a bird app would remember your login. #cbds #tech #terms #tos

Illustration of men with suitcases walking off a cliff

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

The disciples asked: "What shall we receive in return?" And the answer came: premium features. Push notifications. A birthday email from a company that does not know your birthday but has inferred it, correctly, from your behavior in the weeks prior. Amen and accept all. #cbds #tech #tos

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

"We don't have a hierarchy here. We have a flat lattice of empowered accountability nodes." #cbds #tech #leadership

Illustration of a head, with stuff floating in front of it. And behind it.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

People don’t buy a $49/month productivity tool. People buy evidence that they are trying. #cbds #tech #leadership #sales #philosophy

Illustration of a man on a chair with a big eye looking at them from a distrance.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

We are thrilled to announce that in response to employee feedback, we have added a nap pod to the San Francisco office. It is located in 32B, just opposite our CEO’s office. #cbds #tech #innovation #leadership #nap #pod #office

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

Say hello to Velocity Mode. Velocity makes everything feel faster. We moved some animations around. There’s a new swoosh sound. The loading spinner is now a lightning bolt. Testing shows 78% of our test users described the product as “snappier”. #cbds #tech #innovation #loading

illustration of a face and lightning bolts in a cloud of of clouds and smoke and a spiral

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

There's also a new dashboard widget called "Health Score" — it's a number between 1 and 100. We're still finalizing what it measures. Early feedback suggests users find it "motivating" and "concerning." #cbds #tech #leadership #innovation #dashboard

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

People don't buy software. They buy permission to believe in themselves. Charge accordingly. #cbds #leadership #tech #software #apps #sales

man with suitcases. walking forward. in the spiral.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

We sent a handwritten letter to every user who hadn't logged in for 30 days. Users cried. Real tears. It was generated by AI and printed by a fulfillment warehouse in Reno. #cbds #tech #leadership #reactivation #users #tears

Illustration of a desk worker writing on a keyboard, no monitor, wait! what's going on with their head??

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

Updated core value: “We Obsess Over Our Customers (Legally)” - added clarification after incident. #cbds #tech #leadership #customersuccess

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

We renamed the pricing page "Your Investment In Yourself" and conversion went up 9%. #cbds #tech #innovation #leadership #conversionrate

Illustration of people walking up and down a pathway towards a black and yellow spiral

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

Reposted our own tweets calling ourselves "the app everyone is talking about" until everyone was talking about us talking about everyone talking about us. #cbds #tech #innovation #churn #app

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

Trust falls: mandatory. Catches: optional. Growth through impact! #cbds #tech #leadership #trust

Illustration of an employee falling on their back

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

We changed the cancel button from "Cancel Subscription" to "Abandon My Goals" and churn dropped 22%. #cbds #tech #innovation #leadership #churn

Illustration of a man staring into the void

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

“Freely you have received; freely give.“ - Matthew 10:8. And Section 12, Paragraph 4 of our Data Sharing Agreement. #cbds #datasharing #tos #agreement #privacy

Illustration of a priest with VR goggles, raising their hands upwards.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

New company core value: "Be True To Your Original Self" We support your personal development as long as it stays within pre-approved parameters. (the version we hired) #cbds #tech #leadership #personaldevelopment

Illustration of a bespectacled man with their head in a cloud of patterns

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

This meeting could have been an email. It is an email. You are reading it. I am writing it. Q3 looks strong. #cbds #tech #leadership

Illustration of a man at a desk, wearing sunglasses with strip-y patterns instead of hair

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Paternity Leave Policy: You may leave. The building. Once. For 30 minutes. Photograph something that resembles joy. Upload to shared drive. Return. #cbds #tech #leadership #paternityleave

Illustration of a man in a suit with patterns behind them and over their face

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

Brothers and sisters, your data is a gift that you shall share freely. As we shall share it freely with “trusted partners”. And “trusted partners” of “trusted partners”. #cbds #datasharing #data #tos #terms #privacy

Illustration of a priest with VR goggles on.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

Growth is a mindset. It's also a series of marginally legal dark patterns applied with genuine enthusiasm. #cbds #growthmindset #growth #tech #leadership

illustration of a person from behind, looking at other people and circles

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

And he spoke: Let us now open our hearts and browsers to Section 4, Paragraph 2, Subsection (c): "By continuing to use this Service, you agree that you have read, understood, and accepted these Terms in their entirety." And the disciples said: Amen, we agree. #cbds #tos #tech #religion

Illustration of a priest with VR goggles raising their hands towards the heavens.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

After extensive analysis, we're switching our business to an innovative ‘Pay Us Not To’ model. For $19K/month, enterprise clients can pay us to not launch a competitor product in their vertical. Early adopters include three VCs who are 'very intrigued' and 'legally concerned.' #cbds #strategy #tech

Illustration of people with computers at a meeting.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

Installed Roblox on my work PC, yada yada yada, we live in a bunker now. #tech #innovation #vercel #hack #contextai

Illustration of a person possibly entering a bunker.

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

Nobody talks about the loneliness of being a founder. The missed birthdays. The 2am spirals. But you know what? One day my son will re-watch his dad's Series B announcement and he’ll understand. #cbds #parenthood #tech #leadership #funding

Illustration of a man looking out into the sunrise

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

We're launching Project Horizon Pulse — an 18-month initiative to identify what our 12-month initiative was supposed to do. #cbds #initiative #tech #leadership

Illustration of a woman siting at a desk, staring into empty space

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

"This isn't a pivot. It's a strategic narrative realignment.” #cbds #corporate #tech #leadership

Illustration of people walking into a spiral

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

Our new AI-powered 'Culture Fit Index' will score all Slack messages for alignment with our core values. High scores unlock priority seating in the open office. #cbds #slack #culture #tech #alignment

Illustration of many people, cramped in an open office

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Corporate Bullshit Death Spiral @cb-ds.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

The word 'problem' is being sunset. Please use 'opportunity surface' going forward. #cbds #tech #strategy #leadership #opportunity #problem

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