iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

They say an elephant never forgets, but Republicans forgot to release the Epstein files.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

People that'll proudly fly the Confederate flag seem to really hate folks not respecting the American flag...

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 31/05/2025

Ugh, nothing like having to find a social media platform that none of my family follows me on to post these fire divorce jokes I have.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 05/05/2025

Sure, Mother's Day is Sunday. But, Mami's Day is every day when you think about Rhea Ripley.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

I wish I could email bookers and clubs with the confidence that some people send government secrets to the group chat.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

Remember, it's not a champagne tariff unless it comes from the champagne region of France, otherwise it's just a sparkling unnecessary trade war.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 06/03/2025

Y'all mad about transgender mice acting like Bugs Bunny in a dress couldn't get it.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

So cool to see the dude that pardoned insurrectionists being real concerned about illegal protests on colleges.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

I was recently hanging flyers for a show and saw this while I was doing it. Anyone saying the left is exaggerating or these monsters don't feel emboldened is a liar. #Indianapolis

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

Sure, RFK Jr. got confirmed, but I hear his brain worm is a Russian asset.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

Thanks to Adderall, the efficiency of my doom scrolling is up 27%!

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

I want to open a Kurt Vonnegut themed breakfast restaurant called Vonnegrits.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

Pretty wild how Punxsutawney Phil threw that "Roman salute" up three times like that.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

Smaug never threw up a "Roman Salute." Dragons are better than billionaires.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 25/01/2025

Rolos are just boneless twix.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Elon Musk's salute has all the subtlety of a sixth grader saying it just says "Pen15."

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 15/01/2025

Comedy Festival submission fees are the equivalent of tossing a coin in a wishing well. And dang, am I making some wishes this year.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 04/01/2025

Why are Pringles the only snack we fist?

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

All I want for Christmas is a gelatinous cube. #dnd #dnd5e @dndbeyond.com

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

So excited to do this show in #Louisville at @planetofthetapes.bsky.social in January! Inspired by The Dirty Dozen and Suicide Squad for sure. I can't wait! #dnd #livednd

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

Fun show tonight in #Pittsburgh where I get to DM for some comics and we try to convince ourselves #dnd isn't just improv for introverts.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Being poly is like a timeshare for streaming services.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

#DnD is dumb and trusting a nerd to do spinning attacks is dumb. However, both of those things are incredibly fun.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

It's really fun to type up an outline for a live show and include the sentence "Krampus and Mecha Santa have a nu metal versus banjo fight for the heart of Christmas." All my shows are gonna say that from now on.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

I've had the thought "I'd get in great shape and workout if I just bought a battle axe" more times than is healthy.

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Reposted by Cavin Eggleston

zach @extrafabulous.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

sitting in a waiting room this morning while my partner had a 6 hour long cancer removal surgery when I saw the news that the insurance CEO was shot. Im paying out of pocket because the best alternative for us is partial coverage @ 1000 a month with a 15000 deductible. Anyway heres a unrelated comic

Sick guy: I THINK I MIGHT NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.. LEMME CONSULT THE FLOWCHART...
Flowchart: "SHOULD I GO TO THE DOCTOR (OR DENTIST)
*A single arrow points to another card*
"IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU
USE YOUR FINAL DAYS TO TERRORIZE AND ELIMINATE HEALTH EXECUTIVES TO ENACT REAL CHANGE"
*sick guy, dressed like Rambo*: cough cough

478300064600

Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

#dnd is a clever way to defeat Satan. Can't summon a devil if you and your three friends can't agree on a night for a Black Sabbath.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

I love that I'm addicted to an art form where "please come to 45 minutes of church clean comedy to a retirement community at 11 am on a Wednesday for $30" is viewed as a competitive bid.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Finding out Elon Musk is thinking about buying DnD is funny because it's a metaphorical dragon not understanding what the game does to literal dragons.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Jesus is a millennial because at 33 he had to move back into his dad's house.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

It's not blasphemous to say that you think all Bibles should be printed in comic sans, but it really feels like it is.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

My only two rules as a road comic are that we all sing along to Dolly Parton and if there's a Bucees nearby we're going. Everything else is negotiable.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

Sometimes I look at my calendar and get really happy that I get five chances this month to play #dnd on stage in front of people with my friends. That's a weird and fun life.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

A lot of nature documentaries have scenes of animals mating and I wonder if it ever launched the Kim Kardashian of the animal kingdom.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 21/11/2024

In the 80's people worried #DnD would make you a Satanist. All it's done is made me #polyamorous and bankrupt due to buying dice.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

My Ring camera has never caught a single crime happening but it has caught my dogs pooping in high quality HD.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Jake Paul's next fight was just announced. He will be boxing against an ouija board channeling Muhammad Ali.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

I like to drink #coffee because I believe in having only the finest organic fair-trade anxiety money can buy.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

It's fun to see comics at open mics successfully switch from political pundits to boxing experts with the same nuance and insight.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

I know I'd be good at being polyamorous because my favorite restaurant is the KFC/Taco Bell combos.

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

I produce a comedy show in a sex club and another below a rave. I love the look on faces when they people walk into the room and are like "you freaks are just talking?"

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Cavin Eggleston @cavinegg.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Everyone says we need to prepare for Idiocracy. But I'm kinda hoping we go a little more Warhammer 40k for our satirical dystopian future.

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