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snip snip get off my sand 🦀

@cauthons.bsky.social

61 followers 221 following 2.1K posts

shorty got so low. their life is spiraling down. shorty has hit rock bottom. || they/them || 🐦: MacTireDona

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

saying "do you ever miss a man" & meaning him

An animated anthropomorphic male rooster with a red coxcomb and wattle, orange body feathers, and green wing feathers and tail. He is dressed in a teal and blue striped medieval style short doublet with massive bell sleeves and green short pants with matching buttons. Instead of hose, his chicken legs are flying free. He is playing a lute against the background of an animated wooden building that appears to be boarded up. It's Sir Alan-a-Dale, from Disney's Robin Hood (1973).

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

like i will razz fitzgerald all day, but he was cooking with this

an excerpt from THE GREAT GATSBY that reads:

"I've done some nice things out on Long Island," asserted Mr. McKee.

Tom looked at him blankly.

"Two of them we have framed downstairs."

"Two what?" demanded Tom.

"Two studies. One of them I call MONTAUK POINT—THE GULLS, and the other I call MONTAUK POINT—THE SEA."

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

also upping frog stats so that my mother and her party can be attacked by one of these

A dark metallic statue of a frog, about ten inches high, holds a crystal ball, about four inches in diameter, above its head. The frog is sitting on what appears to be a brick wall in front of an out-of-focus mass of greenery that could be lavender, if you squint.

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

so many books i have not or have delayed reading because, instead of a summary, their preview looks like this

a screenshot of the preview of a book description in Libby that reads: "Long-listed for the National Book Award for Fiction. Named a Most Anticipated Book by New York, Time, the Boston Globe, Bustle, and Town & Country. A life-affirming novel of..."

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

like let it never be said that we don't have vibe snatching down to an ART

A photo of National Cathedral in Washington, DC on a sunny day. A church in the Gothic style made out of beige stone is in the center of the image. Two towers flank the main doors and a large circular window sits just above.

A photo of Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris on a sunny day. A church in the Gothic style made out of beige stone is in the center of the image. Two towers flank the main doors and a large circular window sits just above.

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

the way i would never read the book on the left versus the way i would snap up the one on the right tells you so much about my beef with the marketing departments at publishers these days

A bright, illustrated cover of a book called GAME CHANGER by RACHEL REID, USA TODAY bestselling author. On the left, a brunette twink of a man in a white shirt and green apron stands behind a counter, a blender full of purple juice to the side. A blonde jock wearing a blue zip-up, white tee, gray sweats, and white shoes leans against the counter while holding a hockey stick in his left hand and a cup full of the same purple juice in his right. A gear bag in blue and red sits by his feet. The pull quote reads: "Rachel Reid puts the biscuit in the basket" – Sarina Bowen, USA TODAY bestselling author of HIM.

A moody, evocative cover of a book called GAME CHANGER by RACHEL REID, USA TODAY bestselling author. In the foreground, a white man who is absurdly ripped is stripped to the waist. He is wearing black hockey pads and a beaded bracelet. The upper half of his face is cut off. In the background, red hockey gloves and skates sit up a shelf backing onto a plain gray cinderblock wall.

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 19/04/2025

especially when they're like "look at my wolf-cat hybrid", like that's pure

Animated GIF featuring Tina Majorino as Deb Bradshaw and Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite in NAPOLEON DYNAMITE. Two people sit outside on the steps of a school building. Deb, a white teenage girl with straight brown hair that's pulled into a side ponytail and wearing a multicolored pastel shirt, asks, "What's a liger?". Napoleon, a white teenage boy with curly ginger hair, massive eighties-style eyeglasses, and wearing a blue shirt, responds, "It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed. Bred for its skills in magic."

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 12/02/2025

like a Victorian novel in here, magnifique

Screenshot of text that reads: "'He thinks being selective means I don’t have a grasp of pop culture,' Duke said, with a grin. 'He’s wrong, for the record, I keep up, I just don’t usually indulge. But we’re indulging today,". In that section, "selective", "wrong", and "indulge" are all italicized.

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

listening to bill bryson marvel over babe ruth &

In a meme format, Henry Cavill, a white man with dark hair in a dark suit, stands on a pink carpet in the center right of the frame. Jason Momoa, a tall Hawaiian man dressed in dark clothes, approaches stealthily from the background on the left. Text over Cavill reads "Bill Bryson in One Summer (2013) marveling over Babe Ruth being able to hit & pitch". Smaller text over Momoa reads "Shohei Ohtani starting his baseball career in Japan".

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

me, the whole book:

Oprah Winfrey, a Black woman with shoulder-length brown hair wearing a sparkly pink top under an equally pink cardigan, visibly shouts while rising both hands above her head. From a white background behind her swarms thousands of CGI bees. Yellow, all caps text reads "BEES!!!" in the bottom center, blinking slightly.

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 12/07/2024

columbo: let me be frank—

A slightly blurry screenshot of a wallet containing a policeman's badge on the left and an ID card for a "FRANK COLUMBO" on the right.

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*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀 @cauthons.bsky.social · 16/10/2023

you might think this is two people. you would be wrong.

A still from the opening credits of the Syfy series "Haven" showing a sepia toned ornate church building. In the bottom right-hand corner, there is text that reads "Adam Copeland WWE Superstar Edge" in white font.

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