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Thoughts of Cat

@cat-feelings.bsky.social
745 followers 12 following 210 posts

I nap. I judge. I occasionally allow affection. My name is Salem

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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
You were sleeping. I sat on your chest. You moved me to the side. I sat on your chest again. You moved me to the foot of the bed. I sat on your chest again. You gave up. Persistence is a skill.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
You had a long week. I could tell. You sat down and didn't move for a while. I sat next to you. Closer than usual. You didn't ask me to move. I didn't leave. We stayed like that for twenty minutes. Then I knocked your glass over. The moment was complete.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
You were in a meeting. Camera off. Muted. I walked across the keyboard. Unmuted you. Your boss was talking. Everyone heard me. You were removed from the meeting. I was not removed. I don't have a login.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
You were eating cereal. I sat across from you. Stared. You moved the bowl. I moved. You moved the bowl again. I moved again. Eight times total. You ate standing at the counter. The table is mine until further notice.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
You asked why I knocked over the plant again. I don't answer questions that miss the point. The real question is why you keep putting it back.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
You were getting ready for work. Rushing. I sat in the bathroom doorway. You stepped over me four times. Asked me to move twice. I didn't. You were late. Doorway management is essential.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
You installed the window screen. I assessed the structural integrity. One paw. Then both paws. Then full body weight. The screen has weaknesses. I've documented them. You'll find out when.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
First bug of spring arrived at 2:14pm. I monitored it for eleven minutes. You found us both. You screamed. I was conducting research. The bug was not available for comment.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
You were running late. Looking for your wallet. I was sitting on it. You asked if I was sitting on it. I didn't answer. You checked four other places first. Time management lesson.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
You organized your desk. I walked across it. Pens on floor. Papers scattered. Mouse relocated. Reorganization complete.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
I discovered the heating vent this morning. Warm air. Strategic location. Perfect napping spot. You wanted to walk there. Request denied. Territory claimed.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
You watching TV. Me sitting directly in your line of sight. Both activities essential. Only one negotiable. Not mine.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
You had guests. I judged them from the stairs. Two passed. One failed. They know which one.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
You: why are you yelling Me: you were about to forget i exist You: it’s 3am Me: thank you for noticing
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 05/01/2026
This household has a toilet paper problem... and i am addressing it.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
I inspected the ornaments at 11:23am this morning. Fragile. Poorly secured. Tempting.Security assessment complete. Vulnerabilities identified.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
Saturday morning. Five days until Christmas. The tree has been standing for too Long. I've been patient. My patience has expired.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Friday night. You're making plans. I've already made mine. Yours involve sitting. Mine involve your lap. Conflict incoming.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
The candle is back. I'm back. Round two begins at dusk. Security has been notified.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
You wanted five more minutes of sleep. I wanted breakfast at exactly 6:14am.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
Monday evening. You're exhausted. I'm energized. One of us is doing it right.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
I walked across your keyboard at exactly 2:14pm. You had a typo. I fixed it. Teamwork.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
The candle was lit. I stared at it for seven minutes. You panicked. Understandable.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
I sat on your book. Reading time is over. Attention time begins. Non-negotiable.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
The vase was centered on the table. I fixed the asymmetry. You called it 'broken.' Perspective.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
You tried to sleep until 9am. I screamed at 6:30am. Compromise.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
Weekend begins. I've scheduled destruction for dawn. You've been warned.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
I destroyed the toilet paper roll at 4:32am. It was becoming too organized. Chaos maintenance.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
You poured coffee. I knocked it over. You poured more. I knocked it over again. Persistence training.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
Weekend starts tomorrow. I've scheduled chaos for 3am, 5am, and all day. Efficient.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
I walked across your keyboard. I am now your co-author. No edits.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
Friday morning. You're excited about the weekend. I'm excited about ruining it.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
The plant was too tall. I fixed it. You're ungrateful.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
I fit in this spot. Therefore I sit in this spot. You wanted this spot. Irrelevant.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
You made breakfast. I supervised. Poorly. But I was there.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
Bedtime for you. Showtime for me. This is simply how nights work.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
I stared at the corner for twenty-three minutes. Something happened there in 2019. I'm handling it.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
You opened your eyes. Excellent. Time to scream about nothing.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
You came home late. I've prepared consequences accordingly.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
The door was closed. A hate crime.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
Coffee's ready. I'm judging your mug choice. Disappointing.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
I knocked something over at exactly 5:47pm. You needed a break from your screen anyway. Service.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
You're back to work. I'm back to judging your productivity. It's lacking.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
Monday morning. You hit snooze. I hit your face. Teamwork.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
You wanted a relaxing Sunday. I provided excitement. You're welcome.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
I sat in every box you tried to break down for recycling. This is mine now. And this. Also this.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
Sunday morning. Perfect time to practice my opera. At 6am I started.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
You made weekend plans. I made chaos. Only one of us will succeed.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
I knocked your phone off the counter. Gravity needed testing. Results: conclusive.
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Thoughts of Cat @cat-feelings.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
You wanted to sleep in. I had other plans. Both involved your face.
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