Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 29/04/2026call me the moors the way i eat that italian sub 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 26/01/2026Why do southerners think the word y'all is theirs? You don't get to own EVERYTHING 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 24/01/2026At this rate they'll be calling it the Noemberg Trials #ICE 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 18/01/2026I manipulate women by bringing them over and purposely letting my dog go on the floor and then cleaning it up, thus putting the idea in her head that I'm clean 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 12/01/2026There are cultures who believe that each home has its own deity. They all have a little sign on their house that says "beware of god" 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 03/01/2026If you're a heavy sleeper, just have someone take a photo while you're sleeping and you'll wake right up. That's what my f***kin dog does anyway 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 10/12/2025The child mortality rate in the 1800s was 50%. Talk about born in the wrong generation 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 30/11/2025Bought poster putty and got arrested for tacks evasion 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 15/10/2025Nationalists actually have a lot in common with Columbus. Once they die, they'll end up at the wrong location. 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 12/10/2025Fun fact, halloween is part of a broader aesthetic called ciderpunk 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 05/10/2025Never bring a knife to a gun fight. It's against the rules 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 04/09/2025Little known fact, the first ever strain of crack is called OG Bush 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 25/08/2025My girl said she could fix me, but I still ended up cheating. Whelp, guess who's getting dumped for their lying ass. 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 07/08/2025i've noticed my friends haven't been listening to me talk to myself lately 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 06/08/2025sword that sings "don't stand so close to me" when orcs are near 100
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 28/07/2025Bottle says refrigerate after opening but it doesnt say when to drink 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 27/07/2025I can beat up any dude who thinks he can land a plane 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 26/07/2025Dating siamese twins but they share a body and also a head 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 06/07/2025I have so little faith in myself i get imposter syndrome when i make scrambled eggs 010
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 12/06/2025Just found out my sister has an onlyfans. Right now I wish I'd been an onlychild. 010
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 11/05/2025Telling the worst people I know that I can't make it to their surprise party 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 09/05/2025Upstairs neighbors being loud again, don't have a broom so I gotta stack up a buncha shit so I can bang my roomba against the ceiling 010
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 22/04/2025"They're sneaking into our country," says man trying to sneak into heaven 010
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Church of Scientology sponsored chewing gum called L Ron Hubba Bubba 010
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 06/04/2025If you use lead-free paint then you probably drink o'douls you pussy 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 31/03/2025They're not really missed opportunities if I shoot them point blank. When it comes to killing dreams I've got 100% accuracy. 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 20/03/2025I'm actually a progressive conservative. The earth is flat because there's a hole in the ozone layer, which lets out all the carbonation. 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 11/03/2025Falafel are just Egyptian hush puppies and crop circles are biblically accurate snow angels. You're welcome. 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 27/02/2025Going to the clown Taco Bell for some bajajajaja blast 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 24/02/2025Got the "jolly good fellow" insurance policy cuz nobody can deny 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 21/02/2025Get bit by a vampire, turn into a bat. Get bit by an umpire, same. 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 18/02/2025When people say "on god" I think of french people swordfighting 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 16/02/2025Hindsight's always 20/20 when you find out you're adopted 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 14/02/2025Opening my door with the very same debit card that got declined for calling out a locksmith 020
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 11/02/2025Sometimes I feel like a waste of space, that's why im having myself cremated 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 11/02/2025"Christmas came early this year" yeah probably cant find the clit either 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 10/02/2025No seals in the AARP, kinda weird if you ask me 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Homeless magician tried to pull a coin from behind my ear and it didn't work, what a fraud 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 08/02/2025My job has all the benefits except for the benefit of a doubt, no I am not getting high in the bathroom 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 06/02/2025I love hearing bless you so much I have to sneeze twice, maybe even a third time 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 01/02/2025I've always preferred indoor swimming, ever since i was a fetus 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 01/02/2025Don't roast me unless it's a french roast, meaning you gotta use your tongue 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 31/01/2025I drink because of social anxiety, which is why I only drink at home 000
Friends Kafka @caspereleam.bsky.social · 30/01/2025I take a brown paper bag with me everywhere and pretend to have a panic attack, that way no one knows I'm just a paint huffer 000
