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cardboardcat

@carpetgirl92.bsky.social
23 followers 37 following 191 posts

I was once a merchant… I REALLY LIKE WATERMELON CANDIES

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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 5h
Theres a world for me. Where I can be happy. Be myself. Where a hot scary lady will check me out with a disapproving look in her eyes, pull me away, rip off my gown, throw a tailored suit at me with a nod, watch me get dressed, straighten a tie on me, tie my hair up, and say i make a charming boy
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Soy boobs
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
im kind of a sigma male, im single but im still cool 😎
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
If you really think about it, like, REALLY think about it, chicken stock is kinda like a reverb plugin, and i think thats beautiful
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Fun fact if the day: four leaf clovers are actualy really common and if you think their rare and cool youre actually really stupid nd i hate you
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
legit whats the purpose of brian david gilbert, we already had debbie ryan, we already had pete seeger, i just dont see the niche for him i guess
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
AOC is kinda like emma swan, if you think about it, if you really think about it
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
They say gay people walk fast because the devil energizes them , they cant wait to commit more sins
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Yesterday… I was gooning with some chardonnay… then i spilled on my hemingway… oh i believe in yesterday, suddenly… im not half the man i used to be, estrogen is flowing within me, oh i had more rights in yesterday…
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
The alpha hath awoken… her terrifying rule over indeed.com barista listings commences… all must fear and love the alpha, for her power and presence cannot be challenged… especially not by some loser college student with more food service experience than her who will probably be way worse and stuff…
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
why tf do people transition when theres porter robinson music, like, estrogen costs money, but downloading and listening to nurture is tots free
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Approached by a terrifying transsexual woman, she demanded my lunch money and then hit my shins with her skateboard, i cant believe i thought she would be nice cause she was a beagle
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
If a lesbian woman and a straight womN are in a relationship together, is it a bisexual relationship? cause like, it averages?
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
The Party told you to reject the rizzmaxxing of your nonbinary polycule. It was their final, most rizzmaxxing command.
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Behind every great man is a bushy dog tail
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
No joke, just saw gordon ramsey chilling in the darkest depths of the seedy underworld that we all know of yet ignore and cast from our thoughts to banish the horrors away from our innocence and naïveté which we cling onto like itll save us keep us from the reality when we—- He was eating a burger
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Lesbians arent queer theyre some other shit
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Im like a squid
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
God bless straight men allies, i dont know what they think theyre doing for the community by barking and meowing but goddamnit theyre doing it well
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Plans for summer 2026: Become a celebrity Work out once Give turnips an honest shot
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Only thing worse than bad yuri is good yuri
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Erotic role play where im a seagull and you have to throw me sardines every few minutes or i’ll squawk at you
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Yeah baby, Im a sex symbol. A symbol of no sex 😎
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Fear them, the they/them twink is real, nowhere is safe
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
gonna start a fund against capybaras, theyve been getting too many wins in 2026
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
*in a joker voice* Heh heh, catch 22, batman! Either you suck my big ol johnson with lotsa vigor and vim, or the Atlantic Express Cruiser blows up, killing dozens, and I suck my own big ol johnson! You see, in either circumstance, I will have a thoroughly sucked johnson, and a big grin on my face!
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
How do you describe when someones like a himejoshi, like they like yuri, but they actually want themselves to be doing yuri? Like an auto-himejoshi? Is that possible?
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
The summer season is nearly in full bloom. Nothing good can come of this.
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
According to Bloomberg News sources, today June 10th. Nothing good can come of this.
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Air conditioning is a false god, and idolatry will only hasten the age of the devil
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Day in my life: Leave house, try to pay on bus, driver says “ No stop youre too sexy!!!” Later I get off bus, trip and fall, someone catches me, says “Ha careful there big sexy!” Then later im crying about the constant stress of capitalism, and a woman comes up and says “wowww youre so sexyy >:)”
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Six word horror stories that will shock you 😱😬🙀 I used to be very evil… Do you ever feel like evil… Once, i lived… Now i’m zombie Hey! Stop hurting me, American Society! I lost foot… helping the poor Im dead. Killed by: the Government Like milk? It has poison If you have dreams… you die
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Wish i could live on Condom Avenue, its the place to be
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Charlie puth gave us everything we have. When one day, he ascends to the great blue, what will we have left? Enough to make him proud?
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Girl who was raised in a family that drinks bleach: What do you mean, I shouldnt drink bleach?!? No, seriously, are you kidding? Why cant i drink bleach?!? Whats wrong with bleach?!?! Why cant i drink bleach?!?!
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
I dont spend enough of my life on a dolly, not even close
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Hamilton but its set in the present day, and its not about the government its about hamilton learning what trans people are and really struggling
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
I strive to make my home a welcoming place for the twink community, they go through so much what with the twinkphobia and the acid rain, and i know theyd be so happy just to have one place where theyre safe
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
TWINK, I KNOW THY NAME! Twink, i banish you from this land! My great country has no room for your homo habits! Go to Fruity France, or Gay Georgia, go see if there is there is a queer commune for you over there! Strut on by! Atlanta airport Terminal C can be your runway! So work it girl, and leave!
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Imagine being the first guy to said ‘the’. Like, one day, someone was just chilling, and was like: “You know what, I feel like we could really use this word called ‘the’, i just think itd help us all out”, and now look at english. We use ‘the’ in, like, every other sentence, its essential as hell
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
You are trans, you are traaans, now go, and divorce your wiiiife(set to the tune of Dancing Queen) 🎶🎶
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
You better watch out kitten, if you keep acting kind and warm and personable youre going to get forcepuppied, i dont make the rules kitten
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
My girl pretty like jerma
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
I think therefore i arf
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
In 50 years, they will make a new musical genre called “Glorfindel”. Within years, it will be remarked on that people ever felt satisfied in an understanding of the world without Glorfindel. Glorfindel will be just that important to our understanding of music
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
One day, we will always have been butch
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
What if R L Stine was a trans woman and he- fuck, SHE, sorry. God, shit, goddamnit, I thought I was getting better at this, fuck
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
“After all, why shouldn’t I…” - Me when i get the chance to say something rude about Sol Indiges
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Was there a time when John Malkovich was a hunk? A pretty boy?
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cardboardcat @carpetgirl92.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
Why are there goatees
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