iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Daughter: If I were straight, I'd still have an appreciation for women. I mean... WOMEN. Wifage: Yeah, before I figured out I'm a GIRL'S girl, I was always a Girl's Girl.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

If someone raped my daughter, I would fucking kill them, and I'd make it look like an accident or at least have a rock-solid alibi. Purely hypothetically speaking, that is.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Okay, Confession Time: When I play Skyrim, I actually super get off HARD at stealth-archery. Sniping somebody from the shadows like, 100 metres away, is fucking awesome, I care not what anyone says.

001

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I just did my kid's Maths homework (she has dyscalculia) for TAFE. I have a Bachelor's Degree. Did my preliminary mathematics courses at one of the premier Engineering Universities IN THE WORLD, and that shit was too fucking hard. Something ain't right about the way they structure these assessments.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Forever I thought "Corporal Punishment" had some derivation in military practices. No shit.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Antizionism <> Antisemitism You are a FUCKING IDIOT if you believe it is. Votes aren't being stolen. IDIOTS. Trans people are zero danger to you. IDIOTS. Grow enough of a spine and a brain to stop letting this shit perpetuate.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I remember when "shorts" meant half your thigh was showing and "Bermuda" shorts were NEW. Seriously. WTF.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

What I learned from My Father whilst growing up was that he was best to be avoided lest one find themselves in the middle of a judgemental, unfair lecture. What I learned from My Father who is now 84 was that I've been right all along.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Know what's cool and fkn BIG and interesting and amazing? Oceans. Like, they're all connected. You could just swim and bump into every single landmass, island, and otherwise in the WORLD and that kinda low-key freaks me out.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

When you message someone asking two questions and they only answer the first one.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

So man-with-man makes 'em GAY. Woman-with-woman makes 'em LESBIAN. Woman-with-Man makes 'em STRAIGHT. And BOTH same gender and Not makes 'em BISEXUAL (until in a relationship, then see above). And if BISEXUAL isn't special enough, you're PANSEXUAL. Am I missing anything?

210

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Know what's highly-unique to each person? Genital colours. They're many and varied. We need to talk about this more.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Hey Women! Given how much men make you SUFFER, I bet you're wishing you saved that word "Suffrage" for something more than just voting, haha... whut? What you mean 'it means voting'?! Fuck. Kinda nuke's my joke now, doesn't it.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

The older he gets, the more he LOVES love, and the more I love this fat, crippled, asshole. I've never felt closer to my wife in all our decades together.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Wifeage and I have these pendants, a sun and moon, and her li'l sun fits inside my li'l moon. They've got neat designs and are even glow-in-the-dark. Except they don't glow in the dark unless we're really, REALLY, into each other. IF ya know what I mean... This fascinates me, science-wise.

010

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Wifeage wakes up, tells me dream of us as one of those Really Old Couples getting interviewed by the local rag. When asked about Keys to Marriage, she says, "ABC - Always Be Cuddling" and I say, "XYZ - X-rate Your Zzzz's!"

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

So, I saw that there's a HUGE CONSPIRACY THEORY called "Gaylor" about Taylor Swift's sexual orientation, and my biggest question is, "Wouldn't it be Bylor?" Also, comment below if you were able to dig deep enough to find any fucks to give about any of this shit.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Nope, sorry, my bad! Turns out I AM here to fuck spiders.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Am I the only one that remembers that movie where they don't lie and then Ricky Gervais does it and they're like, "How?" And he goes, "I just said something, that wasn't." We now live in the Age of Wasn't.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

"For hundreds of years, girls were married as young as 13 and it was commonplace." Sure, and it was totally fine and good because those girls got to choose their husbands and had an equal say in sex, children, finances and politics.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Does anyone else watch the Reckless Ben LEGO Saga where the corrupt cops fuck with these poor kids and feel claustrophobic?

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

I choose to believe that when something becomes slightly-more complicated and someone says that it "adds another wrinkle" they're comparing it to a butthole, because buttholes are pretty goddam complicated.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

I've wanted to document, via images onna interwebs, various scars and birthmarks I have just in case my body needs identified from a tragic blimp accident. But then I realised that just means onna you sick f*cks can just do makeup or something on some corpse and fake my death.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

At the tender age of 51, I'm learning I poop entirely too much. Frequency, not volume. Soz, shoulda said.

010

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

After seeing all the stuff about Jee-Oh-Dee and his arch-nemesis, I'm really starting to wonder what's so bad about Beelzebub.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Popular YT'ers: [Vidja opens] "...hit that Like Button..." Me: Earn it, fucker. EARN IT. [watches vidja, forgets to like]

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

You both took me to R-rated movies as a child and personally, sometimes incidentally, exposed me to inappropriate sexual things from an early age. Shout out to Boomer Parents who "just didn't know any better" and all the lovely, CPTSD-flavoured, sexual issues I've suffered my entire life. Cheers!

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

I wouldn't trust ANYONE who actively drinks liquid sustenance from a bovine's tits, meant for that bovine's baby, and considers that somehow more impressive than somebody that found a way to milk a nut.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Do you reckon Irish/Scottish people are ever talking to each other and think, "Fucking hell, we've got the coolest fucking accents EVER."? Because they should, they really should.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I am disproportionately annoyed at White Males who sign off by saying "PEACE." Like, my dude, what effect do you think that has on anyone or anything other than some sort of reflection on you and your solo belief that you're "one of the good ones."?

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

Not for nothing, but I think it's okay to be spiritual or wonder about What's Beyond. But, I think an old book and a fucked-up and abusive deity are pretty fucking stupid, and you're an idiot if you buy any of that shit. Hugs!

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

We're all watching rich, old, white, men doing whatever they want: flouting laws, harming many people, and having zero accountability... Yet we're all acting So Surprised when this is what they've been doing all along. Fucking... talk about something else. Or DO something.

001

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

Is NO ONE ELSE bothered by "balaclava" is a full-face mask worn by bad guys and "Baklava" is a delicious Turkish treat? ANYONE?

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

Silently, I sat. The base of the tree etching temporary grooves into my skin, making it itch like my heart when I thought about when he would finally arrive.

010

Reposted by Captain Awesomepants

Jessie Gender @jessiegender.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

If you're a writer, write "I waited" without saying it. “I desperately wished for just a glimpse of the future l to see if all this would be worth it. But I had to take the long way round.”

2929224

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

Normalise clip-on ties! No, seriously. They're practical and easy and there's no reason other than other ties picking on them that they shouldn't be mainstream.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

TIL that "TIL" means "Today I Learned". Also, when posts say "Something something celebrity/event BTS" it does NOT mean they're doing a collab with a K-Pop Boy Band, but rather showing us what's "Behind The Scenes". Shit be crazy.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

Wild that they're actually throwing not just reporting but Police/Gov't ACTION at someone that's Indigenous. Shit like that never seems to happen any more, and I hope and pray it helps in bringing this sweet baby home.

abc.net.au

Girl's suspected abductor had been out of jail for just six days, police say

Northern Territory Police believe five-year-old Sharon Granites was abducted from a home in an Alice Springs town camp as the search continues into its third day.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun YOU.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

Is it me, or was Kylo Ren kind of a li'l punkass bitch?

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

So, when Those In Power just write down OutLANDishly-untrue and impossible stories about the Weird Shit Going Down, it's Dumb and Bad. Unless it was 2000 years ago.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

Turns out, the answer is: WOMEN. This is a loosely-defined graph of Technological/Human Innovation overlaid with Women's Sufferage/Women's Rights/Representation from about 1890 to ~Now.

010

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

I kind of appreciate the Outright and Open Sociopathy from the DOGE Bros. I mean, saves me the step of having to worry about regarding them as human.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Do NOT be intimidated. They're human just like you, and they put on their pants in the morning the same as you. Both legs at once, falling backward onto your bed, shimmying and pulling and praying the zipper will hold.

000

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

Why is it that the HOTTEST days mean my fridge fkn FREEZES everything? Fkn hate chewing my milk.

001

Captain Awesomepants @captawesomepants.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

I wouldn't even have to have met him or know anything about him, and being a non-body-shaming, love-everybody hippie that I am, I'd still take one look at JD Vance and think, "Well, you're a turd of a human, arencha?"

020