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captainjaws.bsky.social

@captainjaws.bsky.social
168 followers 9 following 150 posts
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Celadon... teaching young American kids about JRPG gambling long before we were ready! XD
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
What possible trust could the Republicans have earned to suggest they would EVER honor that?!
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
I hereby order the government to give me $300 million. That's what we do now, right?
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Oh, did you watch that video, too? "Sir, you're about 100 miles away from where you think you are." With his kids in the car...
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
At least Michael Bolton is safe... for now.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
The CHEAT is GROUNDED!! First we make an S.. then, we draw a more different S. A one and the two and the EMAIL! Yur doin' a gud JEOOORB. 👍
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
My son has that exact same monster-truck shark toy! Around the same time, the store we bought it at had a remote-controlled one that was MUCH larger and could "drive on water". It was affordable thanks to those oversized styrofoam wheels. 😆
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
Crazy to think that, "President calls for dismantling of Statue of Liberty while Italian Prime Minister signals willingness to pay for it to return to Italy." doesn't sound far-fetched.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
Gonna age myself... this has Gobliiins vibes - a floppy disk game from 1991. 😆
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
My go-to is *poking* the Virginia state flag and asking her to "do the thing".
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
If this makes anyone feel like I don't belong to this convo, my mom DID die from alcoholism and was... a truly mixed bag.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
My dad is a good man, but a horrible dad. I only recently realized I "lost" him when I was 16, and that I've been grieving this whole time. Finally cut him off so he can't hang me by a string anymore. I'm 40.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
Oof, I fel that one. The one world I'd ever gone "all out" on - a legitimately impressive solo survival build that took over a year - *poof* didnt make the transition. Several smaller worlds did, lol.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Me launching Clair on my PC: "Suggests it be played with a controller." Me closing the game: "Awww, shucks, I really wanted to play that one. I heard it was good." We own multiple controllers, but I don't console game; they're for the children. I haven't enjoyed one in 25+ years; I'm 40 and weird.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
What is a "Dissidia" and why does it make me angry/disappointed?
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
OK, but she DOES kinda look like the new girlfriend that was supposed to only stay for one episode but ends up lending a charming amount of sass to the sitcom main cast.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
Thank you; this really helps rural voters chose which towns to spend their money.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Ideas like that are exactly why Republicans are acting the way they are right now, sad to say. God forbid anyone is allowed to be their equal.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
My final text message to my "Christian" family members was, "I can't believe you want this to be your legacy."
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Our kid is going to enjoy Idiocracy this week with her parents. 😆
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
She heard there might be some grimoires on the Ark...
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
If we are made in God's image... and we can orgasm.... eh? Ehhhh? Christians are weird; they should fuck more.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
When I hear Cormac, all I think of is Fionn. XD
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 28/09/2025
97%, according to the geriatric, pedophile felon president. XD
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 28/09/2025
They did this with WoW mounts to a hilarious degree. A toy was introduced that makes your player model much larger.... do it to the largest model, Tauren, and you can block the screen of whole raids. XD
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
My wife literally couldn't take Tylenol while pregnant with our one autistic child.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Watching Dress Up Darling, I learned that moving the camera down a couple of inches will make you look taller instead of shorter! No reason to bring this up. :x
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
A samus plush that turns inside out into the ball isn't something I thought I needed until just now when I thought of it.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Anyone who discusses Trump without mentioning his crimes is an outstandingly unserious person.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
Don't worry: I canceled my membership to their affiliates, too. Like, which part of the Kimmel thing did you think I could've applied to the others?
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
Seems like people found places to go just to get to ride the new train! Can't say I blame them!
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
Throwing parties now that the Earth is less insufferable to live on.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
We let our daughter adopt one of her friends' kittens, and holy heck, our 10-year-old fat cat didn't prepare us for a half-wild curtain climber. 😆
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
Me to my daughter: "What's you do in school today?" Her: "Outside." Me: "You played outside?" Her: "Yeah?" Me: "Who did you play with while outside?" Her: "Outside." I get the sentiment, but I'm worried about what happens to her if I die.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
I did it with words, over the phone, and reached out to each on individually. Fuck em
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
My favorite part is when they try to pretend like they blew up human smugglers... along with the victims.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
My autistic daughter is the only one of four kids, and also the only one my wife DIDN'T take any pain reliever while pregnant with. She was far, far too nauseous for that.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
There's no such thing as "illegals". People can't be illegal. That is not a state a human being can exist in. It's an intentionally dehumanizing term.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Don't forget strength training! Lookin NOICE, bro! Keep up the hard work!!
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Kinda weird to see a brag about a modern movie breaking box office sales against a 30-year-old title that had tickets at half the price. Shout out to the 90s when a kid could rake the couch cushions and have enough money for a few gallons of gas and a movie ticket.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Omg, Gary Busey lmfao
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
As a *genius* (thank you for the compliment), I can learn new things! Thanks, everyone; applying your more informed assertions immediately. 😀
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
Better than the 20th First Knight of September, for sure.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
The law is signed into effect, and people are asking in the comments what's in it? Folks.. you're already on the internet. Go find out!!
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
That there wasn't a loud "What the fuck?!" is concerning.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
I'd be really interested in a feature that allows users to type in keywords they DON'T want to see in the feed. Mine would be #bb27
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
You're not going to like what the best thing to put on that butt bruise is going to be... It's more ice. 😆
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
Its called meal-planning, and its a healthy exercise.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
South Park warned us.
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captainjaws.bsky.social @captainjaws.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
I just keep looking at the Virginia state flag, hoping that Amazonian woman shows up soon.
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