A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 22/07/2026-"My stone chippings should have arrived by now" -"Slate?" -"Yes by several hours" #LunchPun 030
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 21/07/2026"Why did you do that?" said Eminem's bodyguard as he helped pull random litter out of his client's hair. "Mummy always told me to put the rappers in the bin" #LunchPun 130
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 20/07/2026I wish to retract my joke about broken tape measures, but i can't. #LunchPun 150
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 13/07/2026We've given my mate the nickname "Clay Pot". He gets fired regularly. #LunchPun 150
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 08/07/2026My son got banned from the soft play for kicking someone in the balls. #LunchPun 142
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 07/07/2026-"Hi, i'd like to apply for the job as a football linesman" -FA: "Do you have any referees?" -"I was hoping you would provide those" #LunchPun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Lorry drivers keep track of how much mexicsn food they have eaten using their Tacometer. #LunchPun 182
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I love the 100m but can't stand marathon runners. If that makes me a raceist, so be it. #LunchPun 240
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 02/07/2026 A national newspaper have reportedly trained a mole in surveillance techniques. They employ it to dig up dirt on people. #Lunchpun 150
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 01/07/2026I'm glad I'm not a hitchhiker in the USA, apparently they have thumb tax. #LunchPun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 30/06/2026My mate has managed to quit his smoking addiction by taking up skiing. I have warned him, it's a slippery slope. #Lunchpun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 29/06/2026My wife says she's feeling a bit faint after getting lost in the local hardware store for several hours. She's getting better but not out of the woods yet. #LunchPun 170
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 26/06/2026I see they are advertising for a new supervisor at the local amusement park again. It's a managerial merry go round. #LunchPun 150
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 24/06/2026My mate in Australia has been trying to send me a boomerang in the post now for about 6 months. #Lunchpun 270
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 23/06/2026I've got loads of letters after my name. Final warnings, court summons, unpaid fines, you name it. The postman brings them every day. #LunchPun 160
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Australian police have seized 2.7 tonnes of cocaine from an underground bunker in Sydney. That's nothing to sniff at. #LunchPun 130
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 18/06/2026A terrible email mistake was identified yesterday when the England kits turned up with 3 loins on the shirts. #Lunchpun 060
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 15/06/2026My opinion on video referees is very much in tune with star wars. I wish it was in a galaxy: VAR, far away. #LunchPun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 12/06/2026Diana Ross once got into a bit of hot water when she tried some elaborate home cooking. Apparently, you can't curry dove. #LunchPun 170
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 11/06/2026You'll have to wait a minute while I deal with this escaped Panda. Bear with me. #LunchPun 030
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 10/06/2026I see that the local strongman has just been in the news for picking up cars again. That's nothing, my mate is famous for shop lifting. #LunchPun 070
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 08/06/2026-Barry is fed up of all the fish in his offshore salmon farm being eaten. -Seal hater? -Oh, that was quick, are you going anywhere nice? #Lunchpun 030
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 04/06/2026-"Bob had a crate of beer delivered last night and ended up buying a musical instrument off the Internet." -"Drum kit?" -"Every last drop by the looks of it, he always fancies himself as a lead guitarist when he's had a few." #LunchPun 130
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 03/06/2026-My sister is working on an undercover investigation with a hidden microphone. -Wire? -Because she is the least suspicious looking person they had. #Lunchpun 170
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 02/06/2026-"Catch it, Daddy!" -"Catch what?" -"CATCH IT, DADDY!" -"CATCH WHAT?!" And then I trod in it. #LunchPun 020
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Plans have been announced to construct a mental hospital across the boundary between England and Scotland. Locals say it's bordering on insanity. #LunchPun 060
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I have been voted the world's most boring musician. I play the bland piano. #LunchPun 050
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 21/05/2026-"During that kick to the guys nuts, his foot went in a perfect arc." -"Parabolic?" -"Square in both the hurty bits, yes. He wont be singing with any bass for a while". #LunchPun 150
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 20/05/2026A giant skip has just appeared on my drive. Well, they can take it back, I hate prawn cocktail flavoured crisps. #LunchPun 171
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 19/05/2026Humpty Dumpty and Peter Pan are mortal enemies. #LunchPun 110
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 18/05/2026My cousin is going to be a mummy in just 2 weeks. It's a weird choice of funeral arrangements, but each to their own. #LunchPun 260
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 15/05/2026A rodent keeps attacking people down by the local river. It's a bad case of irritable vole syndrome. #LunchPun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 14/05/2026When my wife made sure that I had to drink my take away coke by taking the lid off, well that was the last straw. #LunchPun 170
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 13/05/2026My Spanish mate Jesus is a very good goalkeeper. He's an excellent shot stopper but not so good on crosses. #LunchPun 390
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 12/05/2026The most popular AI amongst felines is CatGPT. #Lunchpun 030
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 11/05/2026The story i leaked to the press about corruption at the local bouncy castle factory has really blown up. #Lunchpun 270
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 07/05/2026-So Holmes, precisely how DID you figure out it was Mr Drewry with a stolen dagger that killed them in the tunnel? -To be honest, my dear Watson, it was just a stab in the dark. #LunchPun 050
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 06/05/2026My American bee hive has a USB port. #LunchPun 150
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 01/05/2026Sobering news after Ant and Dec visited the anteater exhibit at the zoo this morning. Two went in and only one came back. #LunchPun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 30/04/2026The guy visiting from India and his trendy sneakers have been a hot topic of Converse Asian in the office. #Lunchpun 041
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 29/04/2026Rumours of a farmer having a full funeral for his favourite donkey have been dismissed as hearse hay. #Lunchpun 260
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 28/04/2026I man kept awake by his excessive flatulence for over 6 days has just gone for farty winks. #LunchPun 140
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 27/04/2026-"The man that helped us climb to base camp looks like my dad." -"That Sherpa?" -"No, he is at home and also afraid of heights." #LunchPun 070
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 24/04/2026I've just seen the fastest bread delivery boy in the world go past. He was driving a Baguetti veyron. #LunchPun 130
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Newcastle council are rumoured to be launching their own online assistant powered by artificial intelligence. "Why AI" comes online on May 1st. #LunchPun 191
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 20/04/2026-"I'm a bit apprehensive about going on holiday to meet that new girl i was telling you about." -"Week at Denise?" -"More butterflies in my tummy." #LunchPun 030
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 16/04/2026-"Have you heard the terrible cover version of "In the air tonight" using native Australian instruments going around?" -"Dodgy redo?" -"Yeah and those clicky stick things are no substitute for the drums either!" #Lunchpun 230
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Mr Strawberry applied for divorce from Mrs Strawberry when he caught her blowing raspberries. #LunchPun 1153
A Shining Wit @caffeine748.bsky.social · 24/03/2026Everyone says i'm lazy so I've started weightlifting. It's going really well, my personal trainer is raising the bar every week. #LunchPun 130
