Pumpkin spice deodorant, pumpkin spice dog treats, pumpkin spice toothpaste . . . where will it end????

What’s something most of us have, but rarely use?

A brief history of unwanted communications

Let’s zero in on the topic of zero

Would you like to play a game?

I’m not the only silly goose around here

Even in the oppressive heat, the universe made me laugh

On this week’s episode of 'The Pitt' …

If this summer gets any hotter I am going to melt into Augustus gloop

A sordid of history of stockings, riots and football stars with shaved legs

Things I learned while volunteering at summer day camp

Another in my continuing conversations with Old Age

A semiquintessential guide to America's anniversary parties

No, I cannot sing our national anthem, nor anybody else’s national anthem

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Hold my beer

I never forget a face, but I can always forget a name

I may not know what “maxxing,” is, but do you know what “champing” is?

Some are more precious than others

Meet the PreSchool Friends Class of 2026 — a future police squad and one princess

When I was little, I was convinced it was a treasure chest.

... and whatever else I find at the bottom of the coin jar

Warning: The contents of this column are over your head

I'm never going to make money off cute animal videos if my cat doesn't start cooperating

Praise the Lord and pass the dictionary!

Have you seen what they’re wearing on the basketball court these days?

I tried the new color-changing Oreos. Something changed color, just not what I expected.

Warning: I'm about to use colorful language

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Oh, it was me. I did that. Dairy Queen made me do it.

The good boys are everywhere

In case you're watching the Super Bowl for the game and not the commercials.

I keep eating Thin Mints but they're not making me thin

I’m sick, and my body is making all sorts of strange noises

As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “January is the Monday of months”

Please stop running the gambit and towing the line, because I could care less.

Here are the five most popular things I wrote this year, plus my new kitten

This year, we aren’t having our family Christmas celebration until Dec.

A holiday trivia quiz

It helps to be bright when buying new light bulbs

What if I wrapped all the decorations in bubble wrap?

That’s a rude, mean, stinky bug

If 7 is lucky and 13 is unlucky, then what's a googolplex?

In which I attempt to draw a duck

Clowns. Serial killers. Strangers in vans. Brainrots.

Oooo, this is gonna be scary, kids

In this year's Halloween news: Skeleton mermaids, glowing candies, slasher sodas