iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

"What then to do about Jesus of Nazareth? Miracle wonder man, hero of fools. No riots, no army, no fighting, no slogans One thing I'll say for him -- Jesus is cool." Hey Tim Rice. When you came up with that rhyme, did you think to yourself "This totally works, print it - let's go to the pub!"

"To find a job is like a haystack needle" Does everyone know that the worst setup for a rhyme of all time happens to occur in one of the absolute greatest tracks ever recorded?

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"And he said, "Grow some funk of your own amigo Grow some funk of your own WE NO LIKE TO WITH THE GRINGO FIGHT But there might be a death in Mexico tonight" Hey Bernie Taupin...that line in all caps there - will you please send me an iphone video of you speaking that out loud in a British accent?

Sometimes you're singing along to a rock n' roll classic, and you realize that you've just uttered the dumbest phrase a person has ever conceived. That happened to me tonight. Because mere seconds ago I actually said....out loud...to NO ONE...the words: "Living - Loving - She's Just a Woman!"

Bryan Scary @bryanscary.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

Brutalist score is the best in years, greattttttttttttttt to see that win some gold.

Bryan Scary @bryanscary.bsky.social · 02/03/2025

The new Panda Bear is gorgeously gorgeous, one of the loveliest things any of the Animals have laid down. Loving their latest melodic hazy psych-pop incarnation in general. However - it's DISTURBING that this is now essentially classic rock.

(Bad) prog puns and comments were way harder than (bad) yacht rock or classic rock puns/comments. Which is a testament to the ADVANCED intelligence of the prog bands, who when determining their names foresaw this exact moment in the future and named themselves accordingly.

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Tangerine Dream and Nektar were pretty great for a while, until they starting putting out lemons.

Neo-prog supergroup "TRANSATLANTIC" combined members from beloved bands The Goofy Teacups, Dingus, and Vermillion Locust Patrol Pt. 4: The Wriggling Crucifix into an approximation of a 70s prog band wherein every song is 19:38 mins long and there's a silly bit when someone is wearing a plant.

Pat Moraz ended up on only one Yes album - RELAYER - before Rick Wakeman rejoined the band. People say Moraz brought a more fusion-inspired touch to the band. But the main reason Jon Anderson got him in was for his dashing good looks. For at that time, you see, Jon wanted to pat more ass.

People debate what counts as the first prog rock album. Some say it's "Days of Future Past." Some say it's "In The Court of the Crimson King." But everyone knows deep down inside that it's when Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka goes through the tunnel and all that crazy shit happens.

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(APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR THIS ONE): Let me just say that, as a Jewish man, I was thrilled to learn that legendary prog geniuses the Shulman brothers are also members of the tribe. But WHY, then, did they name their band GENTILE GIANT?!!

Somebody book me on one of those CRUISE TO THE EDGE boats so I can do this stuff as a standup and fluff up the crowd for solo Steve Hackett.

The difference between the good time glam boogie boys SLADE and the not-such-a-great-time prog band GREENSLADE is that the first band made wayyyyyy more money than the second band - so let that be a lesson to bands: don't name yourself after money!!!

Neo-proggers Marillion's original lead singer "Fish" cried when he learned about the jam band PHISH, because the band was clever enough to spell it's name with a "PH" and that's the most incredible idea anyone has ever had about anything ever, and I'm including Albert Einstein and Beethoven.

In the 90s action thriller CRIMSON TIDE, Robert Fripp stars as the King, opposite Denzel Washington (who plays the drums) and Gene Hackman (who plays the bass).

The curmudgeon-y Rock-in-opposition (R.I.O.), wing of prog takes umbrage at the thought of being associated with lame symphonic prog groups like Genesis or Camel. But I say they should cheer up and name themselves after DURAN DURAN'S album RIO instead, so we can all friggin relax already!

Pete Seeger's name is back in the press again, thanks to the new Bob Dylan biopic. Hopefully everyone will come to learn some of his great songs, including his amazing tune wherein he wishes he could start a prog band with a theatrical, fiery lead singer: "IF I HAD A HAMMILL."

Here's a very useful tip for prog rock fans: every time you say the word "Mellotron," place 10 dollars into a jar in your bedroom. By the end of year, your entire yearly tax liability will be in that jar and you'll never worry about money again!!

REJECTED QUESTION ON THE 2024 S.A.T. TEST: Choose the one that doesn't belong: Nursery Cryme. Selling England By The Pound. Foxtrot. The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway. Boobies On Parade. A Trick of the Tail. Wind And Wuthering

I'm expecting to hit it HUGE on TikTok with my Magma/VDGG mashup band Christian Vander Graaf Generator

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Pete Sinfield wasn't always that way either! He started out as Pete Virtuepatch!

Mike Oldfield wasn't always that way. He started out as Mike Youngpatch!

When fans of the band DREAM THEATER go to bed at night, they often wake up before dawn with a wet sensation on their legs - and then they look into their underpants and say:"Whoops! Looks like CREAM THEATER again!"

The laziest man in prog - Peter Gabriel - released his first 4 albums as "Peter Gabriel," because he was too lazy to come up with proper titles. Finally on his fifth record SO, he started lazily naming his albums with two or three letter words, because this prick can't be bothered ya know?

A SCENE FROM BABY BRIAN ENO'S INFANCY: "Brian - now be a good boy and eat your peas." "No!" "Yes Brian!" "No!" "Brian eat - yes!" "Brian E-No!!!" "Brian Eat - YES!" "BRIAN E-NO!!!"

SOME DIALOGUE FROM YES BAND REHEARSAL CIRCA 1973: "Well it's easy enough. I just take my guitar and play this very fast part like this up the neck." "Wait - that's so fast!" "Yes, certainly it is." "But Steve....HOWE do you do it?!"

The title of Emerson, Lake, & Palmer's classic suite Karn Evil 9 is often described as a pun on the word "carnival" - in fact, it's a pun on the name CAR NEVILLE (one of their smelly roadies).

Every night when Rick Wakeman goes to sleep, is he temporarily renamed Rick Snoozeman?

2. If Ian Anderson worked for E-Z Pass, would he thus be daily collecting Jethro Tolls?

Time for some awful prog rock puns and jokes. 1. When the members of beloved Canterbury outfit "Egg" received fellatio - a rarity for a prog band - was this described as "Egghead?"

BECOMING LED ZEPPELIN | Full Length Trailer (2025)

Somebody out there please tell me that they don't hear the music edits at the top of the trailer and think "that sounds great, I love this song!" (Though it actually does make them sound like Yes): www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDKC...

youtube.com

YouTube video by Sony Pictures Classics

Dance craze songs like The Twist and The Hustle and The Macarena remind me of a time when people weren't online all day yelling at each other about how everything they hold dear is absolute trash. And on that note: good night!

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How old were you when you learned that CHUBBY CHECKER was a riff on the name FATS DOMINO? Because I was wayyyyy too old when I learned that.

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If the band's name was Bitch Crimson instead, do you think they would have changed the lyric on the title track of their first album to "in the court of the crimson biiiiiiitch?"

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Something I've noticed: bands named after animals tend to be better than bands named after the document that authorities write up when they're looking for you because you're under arrest. For example: The Turtles are a better band than Warrant.

LITTLE KNOWN FACT: Pop reggae alternative heroes O.A.R. got their name by combining the letters O, A, and R into one acronym, then putting periods between the letters.

Neil Young is now old, which begs the question: is he now Neil Old?

In the legendary Stanley Kubrick picture, THE SHINING - the word REDRUM (MURDER backwards oooh) is spoken over and over by young Danny, a boy with the ability to "shine," which is to say, to see into another dimension where there are ghosts and scary bears (or some stupid shit like that).

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Musicians as Clowns: CHUCKLES BERRY MICHAEL "RONALD" MCDONALD BOZO DIDDLEY JOHN WAYNE MACY "GACY" GRAY JEFF CHAPLYNNE BOBO DYLAN

One time a guy at a party told me his favorite band was "The Strokes" and I said: "Really? Your FAVORITE band? Better than like - The Kinks? The Velvet Underground? The Band!!?" And then he literally shot himself in the head in front of me. He survived though, so I'm good OK?

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Red Hot Chili Peppers are a hugely beloved band, an institution I daresay, with the slappity slap of Flea's bass and the swoopity swoop of Kiedis' vocals and the boppity blop of Chad Smith's drums and the scrankity scrank of Frusciante's guitar. What great guys!

Everyone knows that Prince was SOOOO talented. The man could do it all: write great songs, play a mean guitar, dance like nobody's business. But what we didn't know - and what we're only just now learning - is that Prince wore adult diapers.

When Nick Cave goes spelunking, does he think to himself "Nick is in a cave!"

Isn't it amazing that - right now - on Planet Earth - a child is being born who has never heard of The Beatles - wait too late, never mind