iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Drat it - everyone else gets the northern lights, and I just get this dolt.

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I can't get the hang of October at all. One moment the cool misty evenings are calling the wolves to run. The next, the sun is out and it's time to pop on the old bathers, and nip down to the lake for a splash-about.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I'm considering mending my ways, this year, and inhabiting a world made entirely of All Creatures Great and Small Christmas specials. I'm hoping for a discount on treating those dratted wolves.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

It's rained so much, today, I thought I was back in the canal. What do you mean I'm being over-dramatic [flounces-out threatening to Scrobble all meteorologists]?

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I'm considering pitching an idea for a new wireless programme to be called Non-Entity Scrobblers - in which I try to work out which one of these dolts will try to pinch my boodle and swan of with Pouncer at Christmas.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

It's Michaelmas, today - so it is definitely autumn now. Better still, it is the day by which accounts, traditionally, must be settled. Charles, get yourself onto the Musborough train and make sure that dolt Kay Harker pays what he's due.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I glimpsed a glimmer of fangs and claws in the undergrowth this afternoon. I thought it might be a wolf, but Charles tells me it was just Mrs Calamine pruning the roses.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Righto boys, we're a day into autumn now, which means the dolts of Tatchester are busy buying Christmas presents. So I want you both to get round their houses, and start scrobbling the ones they bought yesterday. See if you can get me a nice green silk dressing gown.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I missed the Equinox. I'd been hoping for nakedly cavorting succubi at King Arthur's Camp. I suppose I'll have to settle for dodgy goings on in an Austin 7 in the Musborough layby, again.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Bob the Baker is already selling mince pies. In September. He deserves a one-way trip to the scrounger for celebrating a Christmas that I'm still planning to cancel. Also, hasn't he heard of Halloween?

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

It is exactly 100 days until I cancel the thousandth midnight Christmas service. Never let it be said that I'm not full of seasonal cheer. The wolves will be running.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Wait a moment, it's supposed to be the Great Tatshire Run not a triathlon. Isn't there supposed to be a ruddy great bridge over the lake?

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I'm not sure the Seekings contribution to Harvest Festival is going to be a success. It's going to be a horrible congealed mess by Sunday.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

How exciting - a brand new series all about me. Well, me and a few other dolts. I wonder if they'll let me keep the box, when it's all finished and I've canceled Christmas.

021

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

You'd think, for his first day at a prestigious new school, that Master Kay Harker, might have made a bit more effort. The dolt looks, like Bob the Baker's third best delivery boy.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Thank goodness the dolts were wearing trilbys and not balaclavas.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I enjoyed my private viewing of the Tatchester tapestry. Any slight irritation I may feel as a result of having to break into the civic museum to see it, is more than made-up for by the knowledge that it perfectly covers that dratted damp patch on the dining-hall wall.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

It's international wolf day! The dogs are running. No, hang on. That's not right, is it?

030

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Let's see: temperature normal. Days shortening. Ratio of dolts to honest scrobblers, High. This can only mean September is coming, and with it the onset of scrobbling season. I shall poke Animus with a blunt stick and see if he's ready to manifest a small blizzard.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Saints alive. Some scrofulous tyke just pedalled up from the village to deliver a Severe Alert about wildfires. I wouldn't have minded, but the dolt also sounded the Chesters air raid siren, and chucked his cigarette butt into my shrubbery.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I suppose, now portable barbecues are banned, I'm going to have to stop toasting sausages over Animus, on the terrace?

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

So, you mean after all the effort I've been to, getting myself re-appointed as Principal of the missionary college, that dolt Kay Harker is still going about telling the Inspector @condicote7000.bsky.social that I'm the cause of all the trouble?

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Quick boys - while everybody is stumbling around, dazzled by the eclipse, nip round their houses and scrobble their valuables. Don't forget your Ray Bans.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I knew it was a bad idea to look at that dratted eclipse. Now I keep seeing miniature Jay Harkers, swimming before my eyes.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Saints alive! I'm almost persuaded to buff up my wooden leg for this, but I'm not sure I could get that dratted phoenix to perch successfully on my shoulder for two hours. www.sussexexpress.co.uk/news/perform...

sussexexpress.co.uk

Performers sought for new Eastbourne musical adaptation of Treasure Island

This December

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

I was planning on appointing Charles as the new bursar of Chesters. However, on reviewing the state of my strongbox I think he'd be better occupied playing games of find-the-lady on the three - fifteen from Musborough.

021

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Charles says there's a gollop of Frenchmen at the door, trying to sell us a, really big wall hanging depicting Harold getting chucked into the canal on Christmas eve. Dratted door to door hawkers.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

We don't have a big screen telly at Chesters - in fact we don't have a telly at all, as it's 1935 here. So instead of watching tonight's footy, I'm going to stay in and count my boodle. Hang-on - some dolt has scrobbled it!

110

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Rightho, boys, the game is afoot. Now we can't be too careful: I want you to remove all the bins from Chesters. If we need to get rid of anything just dump it on the Bishop's lawn. That'll serve the dolt right for asking awkward questions about our half crowns.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Due to having been caught scrobbling clergymen, I am immediately standing aside as Principal of Chesters Missionary College, to allow the role to be filled by someone better suited to the rigors of public office - me! Vote Boddledale or get scrobbled.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

So as not to be left out of the fun, I will also be making an announcement, regarding the future of Christmas and my missing boodle, at 2PM. Tune into Radio Tatshire for exclusive coverage.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Look Charles, I did my bit. Sooner or later you're going to have to break it to those dolts that they'll never win until they start kicking the ball at the other goal a bit more often.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

Let's be clear - Charles did receive half a crown from Master Harker for personal protection against scrobblers. It was received before Christmas in a private game of cards and, in any case, it's none of your business, which is why I'm here explaining it to you.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

More heat? I think some villain has been meddling with the climate.

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

For some reason I wasn't invited to the wedding of the century. However, as a very holy gentleman, I have a front row seat at Tatchester's hottest event - Mrs Calamine is celebrating 60 years of being grumpy to small boys who don't take their caps off indoors.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

I'm not sure the foxes are being over fed, but I'm pretty sure sure I saw that dolt Joe up by Condicote windmill last night.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

The Bishop says we have to establish Chesters in the North. Where is 'the north', Joe. I've checked all over this globe and all I can find after Carlisle is a bit that says 'here be midges'.

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Farewell Penelope Keith. She would have made a fine Pouncer. To the missionary college born.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

How is everyone coping? I was going to get Animus to conjour us a snow storm. But the dolt has gone back to the infernal pit for the weekend - he says it's cooler.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

There's no satisfying this slimy green dolt. For years he's moaned about being trapped beneath the waterfall. Now I've managed to make a few half crowns letting it out as a cooling station, the idiot is moaning that he can't find a space in the cool spot.

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Saints alive, Charles! The lake has gone a very unhealthy colour. Have we been targeted by Pro-Christmas saboteurs again, or did you take a sneaky piddle in the shallow-end?

030

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Saints alive! There is a rare alert of red demons in Tatchester. I must get the fire hose ready in case Animus spontaneously combust and sets fire to the scrounger.

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

It's midsummer day - which of course means long robes, secret incantations and skinny-dipping in the lake. I do hope Charles has followed Waterfall Boy's advice to slip-slap-slop. He's terribly fair skinned, and we don't want him to get his scrounger burned.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Charles says he's going to lay out a new path for Chesters. I think this is an excellent idea. While the dolt is at it, he can lay a new patio and bury himself underneath it.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Charles and the boys did awfully well in yesterday's opener of the World Scrobbling Cup - they had half a crown off Master Harker before he knew it. I wonder how they will get in the squeezing a Bishop and two Deans into one cell event.

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

When Eton College has finished knocking-off his rough edges, I wonder if Prince George has considered theogical training at England's foremost missionary and theological training college?

020

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

That's quite enough doomscrolling the Condicote Bugle from you blessed Joneses. Get outside and build a snowman, or something, while I check-out my likes.

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Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

Well boys, I think it's time to start preparing for the solstice. We're going to need some flowing robes, a sinister stone table and plenty of midge repellent for when the naked dancing begins.

010

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

Saints alive! When I told Charles to arrange a fly past this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

000

Abner Brown @brown-abner.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

If I'm shortly to become the world's first, and most handsome, trillionaire, I can't help feeling we are going to need a bigger chest for all the boodle.

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