iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

Hey guys, I forgot to go viral/get really big in here before the comedy festival (idiot!) but just letting know I have previews of my show tonight and tomorrow, and then regular ones til the 12th if that’s something that interests you x

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

Everyday would be International Women’s Day if you were married to Mr. Worldwide x #IWD

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

I’m so sorry to the massage lady I lied to and said I slept on my shoulder weird, but actually pinched the nerve while jackin it this morning. I wish we lived in a world where we could all be more truthful x

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 02/03/2025

The abortion arguement of “It might have been the person who went on to cure cancer!” always feels so null and void when I’m getting ready for bed. If I didn’t have to put 5 layers of creams and serums on my face twice a day since I was 13, ✨I✨ might have been the person to cure cancer.

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

Having a cut on your asshole is crazy, how is that ever meant to heal? How do I not just have two buttholes now?

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

The soft animal of my body needs a cigarette

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Oh, you’re “practising” non-monogamy? How about you let me know when you’re any good at it

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

I am once again begging Melania to drop her medication list

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Maybe men would be better at multitasking if they could also get a UTI and thrush at the same time

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

My acupuncturist had his elbow in my ass for half an hour and made me cry — I didn’t realise we were going steady

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

Not everybody has $450, the patience to compress an image 7 different times, or the ability to make a registration deadline by the skin of their teeth even with months of notice — but I did! 𝙇𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙐𝙥 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙮 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙁𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙇𝙤𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙮 𝙁𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙡 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩 at this years @melbcomedyfestival ✨

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 02/01/2025

Bouldering is just stationary parkour

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

In an unplanned sequence of events I just took a Valium and then vacuumed the house, and honestly, I get it

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

I hope Rachel Sennot is having a nice Hanukkah

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

The people who deserve a holiday the most are the ones on my close friends list

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Do you think early humans also thought “god, I hope I don’t run into Matt while I look like total SHIT!”

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

If you tell your friends you’re “depwessed” legally they can’t be as worried about you

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

You’re practising ENM? Get back to me when you’ve mastered it

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

Yeah, so, I bought a pack of cigarettes! What matters is that I meditated afterwards, therefore cancelling it out.

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Deny, defend, dispose is just gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss for assassins

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

I love the freeze response, just the bodies way of going ‘I can sense the vibes are off, but I’m just going to see how this all plays out’

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

Made a comment about a friend recently saying he’d “really grown up recently”, but I just realised he had just stopped trying to fuck me

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 30/11/2024

The last three guys I’ve slept with have all asked me if I’m a squirter. If you want a squirter sooo badly, go fuck a man?

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Bridget 💘 @bridgethassed.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Smoking a cig while drinking a green juice in a real duality of man/two wolves moment

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