iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by 🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞

Ultima @ultimashadow.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The opening hour of Fortune's Weave feels like this:

🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I feel so predictable like. Yes of course I would like him I mean just look at his design. But then he also has a terrible personality (which is like catnip for me LOL)

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sirocco could be my comphet closeted gay blorbo this time through. He's got the vibes. Also he's annoying as fuck (/positive)

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Please God let this new game fix me let it inject creative juice directly into my fucking veins I will take anything at this point I am withering

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Reposted by 🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞

Cavox @cavox.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

I keep this one saved

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Anyway, good news is my computer is finally set up again so I can make digital art again. Hoping to get back into a drawing habit, I'm rly out of it rnow

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

I hate that this is the image I think of whenever I notice I'm getting BadTM

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Goya is so good at depicting tension. Like something about how still the bull is in this makes it so ominous to me. The ground littered with gored horses, the people cowering in fear, and the bull just sitting there, biding his time, unbothered.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Also we hung out in pasadena and saw six hundred million parrots

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Not too far! Wee on the central coast so halfway between SF and LA

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

They have no clue about any of this I think. They just don't understand why I wouldn't want to live in a "safer" city. I have lots of irrefutable reasons I bring up (transphobia) but tbh I hate my hometown because it's full of people like them who'd rather shrink their world than learn to grow.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Like they tried as hard as they could to make their world as small and controlled as possible. I have a lot of fucked up anxiety stuff from under exposure imo, and had to force myself into uncomfortable positions in adulthood to become comfortable with change, which is what I'm so proud of now.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

It's also just strange being here with my parents. It's so obvious to me how uncomfortable they are in a big city. I feel so different from them but I am finally starting to feel pride in that I think.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

But I didn't grow up here. My parents hated urban living and moved north to rural California (barf.) It's wild to think about how different my life would have been if I'd have gotten to grow up in the city. I am a city mouse tried and true now, I don't think I'll ever live far from a city again.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Also, really really wild to realize that my family has been in and around the same part of LA for almost a century now. My grandmother was buried in the same cemetery that her mother was buried, and her mother moved to Los Angeles in the early 30s I think. I lived in LA for 4 years myself-

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Tomorrow will be the church service but today was the grave side service which was really lovely. Everyone loved the bracelets I'm so glad ah

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

I get to go to my two favorite places in LA while visiting 🥺 The Huntington and The Getty AAAHH It's been good so far. Sad, but good. I am still maintaining my sanity around my parents thankfully, but also I'm really happy to get to see my extended family all together.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

Made 17 bracelets for my entire family out of my grandmother's jewelry. A huge labor of love but I'm really happy with how these turned out and glad I got them done in time for her service

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

I will become a human again in exactly one week (hell season at work will have ended/guy at the center of huge HR grievance is gone for two weeks and I will have gotten back from my grandmother's funeral and I will make art again and be happy again if it fucking kilLS ME.)

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

If you find one you like let me know! Tbh I've just had a private Tumblr that I post to whenever I get the urge and I've had that thang for 10+ years now. Works okay! But I don't get notifications to write or anything

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

I need to make art again I am getting Weird And Bad

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Had a bit of a moment the other day. Told my coworker I walked a month on a broken ankle as a kid. He asked why I didn't see a doctor sooner, and I said it was because everyone told me it wasn't broken and I believed them because I was told I was a "hypochondriac" my entire childhood. Oof

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Sick. Achoo. (It's not very bad but god I need to catch a break)

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

I'm mostly done moving but also my grandmother died and I'm one week into two weeks of my parents being in town and I think I'm like two off-hand remarks away from an aneurysm so. That's how my life's been going.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

I took a SHIT ton of time off from work to just focus on decluttering, moving, selling some stuff, and finishing commissions 😤 I am DETERMINED to get back on track in the next 5ish days I am DETERMINED

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 10/02/2026

Badge lanyards from nearly 20 years of cons 🥺 I went to ALA 8 years in a row that is NUTS (final count for my badges was 47)

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Also the rear ending was the worst it could possibly have been in that I thought "this car is going to rear end me" a normal anxious thought for me that I am good at disregarding and then it happened so The Link was made and now I'm gonna have to do Mental Cleanup around that shit too aaUgh

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

I want to call out so bad but I did that last week on Friday and there's too much shit to do/I have a super important meeting today

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Almost always my stuff gets separated from me at security too and this time the moment I showed any distress about any of it I got detained. Something something irl getting punished for showing any signs of distress something something being set up to fail constantly blah blah blah

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

I had a stress nightmare GODD IM SO TIRED OF THIS SHIT... It's one I semi-frequently have where I find out I've forgotten to buy my return ticket when I'm at airport security and then the tickets at the airport are so expensive I can barely afford it so I have to decide on the spot...

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

I'm just really really tired. There's too much I need to do. Also my parents are visiting for two weeks at the end of the month.........

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

It's gonna be one of those things where the next few months at work are going to be probably incredibly hostile and uncomfortable and I am just really not looking forward to it. But also I'm tired of getting screamed at at work by a giant man child.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Man. Being an adult is wack. Trying to fix my car from a collision I had a while back that was very close to being very bad and I got rear ended tonight. Also I'm moving this month and am involved in a serious work dispute over another employees really fucked up misconduct...

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

It is really wonderful when I can get into that carnal creative headspace but GOD it happens so infrequently. For me it's when the subject becomes more compelling than the process. It's a bitch tho cause how do I stay focused on the process when my brain is doing wolf howls every two seconds LMAO

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

I went to record my cat meowing and found 6 year old recordings of me pronouncing city names for a discord I was in and Jesus CHRIST I sound so Californian???? I have no idea if I still do...I thought I didn't have an accent but now I think I might djsjsjsnbf

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Also getting custard buns which should fix me

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Anyway. I'm going to watch Horatio Hornblower and think about hot sailors for a while so I can stop whatever train of thought I'm currently on.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Both existing as a neurotic web of cortisol and reactive anxiety is as authentic to me as being a stable calm cool collected structure I've built over decades of willful change. Those two things being true is so hard for me to parse sometimes. Like holding two opposing magnets together in my hand.

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

How much of that being done willfully means it's true? If I want to like the color blue I can like the color blue. Is my liking the color blue authentic? Is authenticity associated only with what we have no control over? Why do I associate authenticity with consistency?

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🔞CBT Season (cont.)🔞 @bowieknight.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Like okay there's a thing. Like if you have dealt with crippling mental health issues and end up being able to change your state of mind at will because of that (something I can do) then what becomes of your identity? Like am I just someone who changes forever (yes, we all are in a way) but -

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