iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

Renee Good’s family should file a $1 trillion defamation lawsuit against Trump, Vance, and Noem.

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

The ICE agent who murdered Renee Good was never in front of her car when he fired the three shots. I hope this helps Kash Patel and the FBI in their thorough investigation.

11363103

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

JD Vance says “the far left” caused the woman to be killed in Minnesota. I think he means “the ICE agent to the left of her car.”

929660

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

King Charles Seeks to Restore British Rule Over U.S.

2738061

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

When Season 1 began with a ketamine freak breaking into government computers I had no idea that Season 2 would be about kidnapping a dictator in Venezuela

825857

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

It says something about how fucked up the world is right now that when Meet the Press announces its guests I find myself looking forward to hearing what Marjorie Taylor Greene has to say

1833826

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Scientists Baffled by Marco Rubio’s Ability to Sleep at Night

901249253

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Maduro Requests Lindsay Halligan to Prosecute Him

334779710

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Taking whatever you want just because you can is behavior consistent with being a pedophile

1032580

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Hegseth Says U.S. Will Secure Venezuela’s Tequila Distilleries

922041

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Trump said that Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado is not qualified to run the country because “her peace prize wasn’t awarded by FIFA.”

1029858

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

George W Bush Celebrates No Longer Having Launched Dumbest War in U.S. History

6450106

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Trump Slurs Speech to Make Hegseth Appear Sober

618329

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Watched a full hour of CNN and they mentioned Marduro’s US indictment several times without once mentioning the drug trafficking CONVICTION of the former Honduran president, whom Trump pardoned. The joke’s on me for watching CNN—it won’t happen again

323059

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Bombing of Venezuela Earns Trump World Wrestling Entertainment Peace Prize

417038

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

The Epstein files must be worse than any of us imagined

9384122

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

This is what happens when you read headlines too quickly: I thought Trump and his wife had been captured and flown out of the country

1940056

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Already gotten bombed in 2026: 1. Venezuela 2. Pete Hegseth

425040

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Two questions: 1. Do we still have a War Powers Act, which prevents a president from carrying out military aggression without Congress’s consent? 2. Do we still have a Congress?

32562205

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

“Don’t trust billionaires. They don’t get rich by finding that money on the side of the road, brother.” —Stephen Colbert

531155

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

There’s a perfectly plausible explanation for Trump falling asleep in meetings, slurring his words, and having swollen ankles and bruises on his hands — he’s dying

2426537

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

It’s ironic that Trump takes an enormous daily dose of aspirin while giving the rest of the world a ginormous fucking headache

20607119

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Trump Kennedy Center to Host an Evening of Sad Trombones

633357

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Hegseth Apologizes After Striking Drug Boat Carrying Don Jr.’s Supply

530249

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Fox News Reports Mamdani Undecided Whether to Institute Communism or Sharia Law First

1530730

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

Kash Patel Rushed to Hospital After Suffering Trauma of Flying Coach

818216

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 29/12/2025

Ukraine Denies Attack on Putin Residence: “We’re Helping Him Build a Ballroom”

925648

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 29/12/2025

When we have a pandemic that rages out of control because of RFK Jr’s anti-vax actions I would support naming the virus “Trump”

922833

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

If Trump wants to put his name on everything here’s an idea

619422

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

Not sure that naming battleships after Trump makes sense, but here’s a ship worthy of his name

1535258

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

Next up at the Kennedy Center: a concert of sad trombones

1950789

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

Hegseth Orders Strike on North Pole Narcoterrorist

625667

The Borowitz Report @borowitzreport.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

It’s such a sublime example of the epic stupidity of CBS’s nepo baby owner that he banned a 60 Minutes segment and somehow forgot that Canada could still air it