iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I was born ready. Then I went cold, congealed, and started to grow mould.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

"Daddy, you can't come down here with your stinky butt. This is a clean air zone."

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

"Daddy, why can't the tooth fairy just look around the house for the teeth?"

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

"Daddy, you haven't bought what that advert was banging on about, have you?"

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I can't decide whether I'm good at working out or bad at laundry.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Best description of a mammoth I've ever heard: "a silly olden days elephant."

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Been reading a lot of Brothers Grimm. Terrified of bakers now.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

"Daddy, promise me you'll think about penguins for the rest of your life." "Okay, I promise." Every single day since then: "Daddy, are you still thinking about penguins?"

010

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

The sun does not heat a paddling pool as much as you think it would. I may have frightened my balls off for good.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

"Daddy, is wood made of trees or are trees made of wood?"

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

"Daddy, why can't I hear my spit glands?"

100

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

In heaven James Brown keeps shouting get down at Horatio Nelson. He hates it.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

"Daddy, being at home is just like being at school because I ask you questions all day."

001

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

"Daddy's head smells like giant electric boxes full of plasters."

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

"Daddy, if an animal was born that looked like a dog, ate the things a dog eats and did the things a dog does, would you assume it's a dog?"

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

The boy's got hungersteria. He's running around the house shouting, "I'm the ghost that hurts your dreams!" I shouldn't take so long preparing the mash potato.

010

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

"Daddy, can you be perfect for the rest of the evening?" "I'll try." "But perfection doesn't exist so you don't need to do anything."

001

Reposted by Martin Bolton

Jason H. Abbott @jason-h-abbott.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

Exhausted, the accused made a request. “Paper.” “A written confession of sorcery?” the Inquisitor said. “Certainly!” He laboriously wrote his note, then the Inquisitor read it aloud. “I. Confess. Each. Period. In. This. Note. Is. A. Small. Explosive. Rune—” #vss #sff

0284

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

"Daddy, all spiders do is eat, relax, build webs and do sign language."

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 05/02/2026

If I was called Colin I would insist on being called LL Colin J.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

My 6-year-old son singing in the bath: "Show me the way to the next whisky bar. Oh donuts walk, oh donuts walk." 🎶

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

"Daddy, is every BIG thing going to be alright?" "Yes, of course." "But Bob Marley only said every LITTLE thing is going to be alright."

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

Of course, the first club sandwich was made in the early Paleolithic period by hunter gatherers. The original was just a club sandwiched between two other clubs.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

Now I understand why I had that mad dream last night. It's because I was asleep.

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

You can lead a house to Walter but you can't make him understand predictive text.

010

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

This post was removed by the fire brigade because it was written by a man who is stuck up a tree.

010

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Why does Gil Scott-Heron's name begin with how a fish lives and end with how it dies? Another fucking sleepless night then...

000

Martin Bolton @bol-tan.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

The Muppets Treasure Island deviates from the plot of the original book a tiny bit. Silver kidnaps Hawkins in the film, whereas Hawkins chooses to go with him in the book if I remember rightly. Also, I don't recall there being a pink crocodile with a hat on and there are loads more pigs in the film.

000