Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 25/09/2026*peeing in a bath that has bubbles* i’m like michael phelps i think 091
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 25/09/2026how it feels talking about my elbow fetish to my coworkers during business hours 0234
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 18/09/2026wife keeps complaining about how i won’t schedule anything on tuesdays because thats bobby tuesdays when me and my buddies get drunk and watch spongebob, we do it so often we just call it “watching some bob” 0369
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 18/09/2026i just birthed out my butt an egg i had earlier put up my butt 1223
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 16/09/2026i think i have a crush on the stop and shop self checkout voice lady 1233
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 12/09/2026i miss when people would say ptooie instead of hawk tuah 0359
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 11/09/2026when i say that i ”read“ i dont mean like novels i mean those little guide packets that come with ds games 1235
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 11/09/2026how it feels to for once click [Shut Down] instead of [Sleep] because you lowkey understand it’s healthier for our mother earth 1448
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 11/09/2026watch me reverse undo nine eleven like some shit from that movie Tenet 0111
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 10/09/2026can mike and melissa be added to the criterion closet im like not even joking 0132
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 04/09/2026would you rather fight one horse sized duck or get shot in the head and killed instantly 45916
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 30/08/2026it’s not reallt jaywalking if you don’t cropdust the cars too #tooting 1194
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 29/08/2026i’m the tom brady of fapping instead of doing the chores my mom said i have to complete to earn my allowance 0254
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 28/08/2026i put my son in the sucky tube at the bank to see what would happen 1215
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 28/08/2026*looking at the black stuff i picked out from under my fingernails* i should find a way to monetize this 0197
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 27/08/2026it’s okay if you don’t laugh at my posts because humor is objective and i don’t mind if some people just arent good enough 0223
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 26/08/2026one of the reasons i hate shopping at target is that onetime the automatic door closed on my buttcheeks and chopped them off but it took me a few minutes to notice because at the time i was hopelessly addicted to pokemon go and was trying to catch a machop 1275
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 23/08/2026if she’s your girl why did i see her starved, hairless, and loudly sobbing in my datura trip 1150
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 23/08/2026i bet whenever Morrisey sits down his pants get wedged up his ass and then when he gets up everyone can see his pants stuck super far up into his buttcheeks and he just walks around like that all day and no one tells him #TheSmiths 0100
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 22/08/2026would you rather play a game of pinball without needing to put a quarter into the machine or get killed by a mountain lion 1142
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 21/08/2026the password to my iphone is 000000 because that’s my birthday 14210
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 21/08/2026whenever i’m watching porn and he slaps her on the butt i’m always like what the hell why would you do that, please be kind 333188
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 21/08/2026my wife said i’m always trying to argue so i just cut to the chase and ate her alive like that one scene from adventure time with the lemon grabs 0244
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 20/08/2026isis been real quiet ever since i called them gay and stupid 0312
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 20/08/2026dunkin donuts has agreed to launch my Earl Refresher that tastes like borax and causes terrible stomach pain like almost instantly 1314
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I’ve sent my son to a brainrot summer camp where he spends the day playing outdoor games like content farm tetherball and noob pro hacker tag 0193
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 20/08/2026how it feels when the TGI Fridays waitress says they’re out of Friday Sauce 0232
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 17/08/2026welcome to good burger home of the good burger did we ever catch kony 0210
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 17/08/2026cosmo and wanda i wish that penises could also get yeast infected 1349
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 16/08/2026when you’re trying to sing the birthday song and that one person starts saying “cha cha cha” in between lines 15813
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 13/08/2026did you guys hear that ai datacenters are like growing legs and walking around 4301
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 13/06/2026the world if i could just throw my empty dasani bottle on the ground when there arent any nearby trash cans because my arm is kinda tired 03310
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 03/06/2026He made a statement so DIGITAL 🎪🐰 even his pomni fucked him 🥹💙❤️ 1556
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 17/05/2026how your transfem coworker looks at you before recommending hollow knight silksong 322628
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 13/03/2026me and my friends have this game we have called "Noob, Pro, Hacker" and its basically spin the bottle but instead of kissing we throw heavy things at eachothers heads like bricks and logs 15618
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 13/03/2026im gonna prank bejeweled 3 when it's gameplay loop stops making my prostate quaver and twitch like a fig full of jubilant wasps 410229
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 11/02/2026(explaining blender to a simpsons) ok so imagine a donut, 05914
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 07/02/2026fool me once, tweedle dee dee fool me twice, fiddle dee doo 0348
Earl @blacklung82.bsky.social · 07/02/2026me watching the new phineas and ferb remake: i hear that they made it trendier to appeal to more politically inclined viewers doofinshmirtz: i call this one the fingerinator, it will finger everyone me: excuse me 08315
