Reposted by William GerrardWilliam Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 24/09/2026#bookcover #coverart 0103
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Got pushed an ad for a Hans Gruber falling to his death advent calendar, lol 020
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Dad joke I came up with for Halloween: “What is Dracula’s *least* favorite part of running a business? ……….. A: Answering to the stakeholders.” Feel free to use this at home and watch your children’s esteem for you reach new heights 010
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Gen Z told me Opposite Day jokes are cringe, and I just smiled, because, reader, you’ll never believe what day it was 010
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 18/09/2026It’s rough out there for men—you can be *inches* away from uncovering the key to all mythologies, and she’ll just ignore the codicil in your will and go for your Bohemian younger second cousin 😫 030
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 17/09/2026They should invent a flesh that isn’t heir to a thousand natural shocks 030
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026“Our age of Fonz is collapsing… *We* are the People from the Sea…” 120
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 30/08/2026My friends and I would’ve killed Ferris Bueller with hammers I can tell you that much 010
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Average ad you have to scroll past on news sites now 130
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Porn version of 1984 that ends with the V.O.: “But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Step-Sister.” 000
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 24/08/2026The ideal male physique—strong but nurturing 020
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Went to the summit of Haleakalā in Hawaii last night and took this photo of the Milky Way with just a phone, which hardly seems possible but there it is 040
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 13/08/2026The centenary edition of William Empson’s 1930 classic Seven Types of Ambiguity will contain an eighth type of ambiguity so ambiguous that Empson demanded it not be revealed for 100 years out of fear that it would “blow people’s fucking minds” 0102
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Just learned there’s a “Are you winning, son?” photo of Derrida 030
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Explaining to my 5yo that, while the Trojans did undoubtedly FAFO, it was arguably cringe of the Greeks to fight a 10 year simp war 030
Reposted by William GerrardWilliam Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 07/05/2026I’m sorry, but Odysseus would never have said anything like this during the sack of Troy 😤😡 131
Reposted by William GerrardWilliam Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Classic euphemistic NY Times headline—sounds better than "I jumped out a window" 041
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Classic euphemistic NY Times headline—sounds better than "I jumped out a window" 041
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 13/07/2026The various faith traditions differ widely on this subject. No one really knows 🤷 020
Reposted by William GerrardWilliam Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Lindsey Graham got to live to see his lifelong dream of the U.S. going to war with Iran come true, and he got to die before the full scope of the disaster was able to reveal itself. Gotta hand it to him. 021
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Lindsey Graham got to live to see his lifelong dream of the U.S. going to war with Iran come true, and he got to die before the full scope of the disaster was able to reveal itself. Gotta hand it to him. 021
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 08/07/2026His best move now is to expand on the tattoo a second time to make it Nazi again and try running as a Republican 020
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 08/07/2026A German tattoo shouldn’t disqualify you from running for office 000
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I’ll bet Platner regrets covering up that sweet skull and crossbones tattoo for nothing 🤣 000
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Not to brag but I have a perfect record of not trusting guys with Nazi tattoos 020
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Proponents of intelligent design always point to complex but ultimately explicable phenomena like the anatomy of the eye, and never to the truly unfathomable coincidence that the word “assume” *just happens* to contain the words ass, you (phonetically), ***and*** me 000
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Don’t let the woke weather stop you from celebrating America’s Golden Age 040
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 03/07/2026This pole is how I keep abreast of happenings in LA 020
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 02/07/2026If the ancient world had known about black holes, it’s likely there would be obscene mythological stories about them. A loss to literature. 000
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 30/06/2026This Mel Brooks quote is still one of the all-time best statements about the nature of comedy 010
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 24/06/2026RFK Jr. sneaking out at night to dip his penis in the Reflecting Pool algae 000
Reposted by William GerrardWilliam Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Explaining the World Cup to my son (i.e. that when the World Cup is full, a being with an unpronounceable name pours out its contents, destroying us and our world and allowing the cup to be filled again in an endless cycle with no aim or gooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll 001
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Explaining the World Cup to my son (i.e. that when the World Cup is full, a being with an unpronounceable name pours out its contents, destroying us and our world and allowing the cup to be filled again in an endless cycle with no aim or gooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll 001
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 21/06/2026You would expect a world-historical narcissist to be able to get a Reflecting Pool right, but alas 041
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Is it still considered Stockholm Syndrome if your captor really is an awesome person and the hostage situation is objectively not his fault? 010
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 20/06/2026Schrödinger's Israel both "commits to cease-fire in Lebanon" and "is likely to continue attacks in Lebanon" 130
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 19/06/2026He looks like he just framed Dick Tracy for murder 040
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Trent Reznor (at a concert in Stockholm) “🎶 What have I become…….. my ***Swedish*** friend 🎶” (winking smile, crowd screams) 010
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Man, the writing on this show really fell off 000
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 16/06/2026(Joe Biden voice) Listen here you new world screwworm, 030
William Gerrard @billgerrard.bsky.social · 13/06/2026Goddamn unreliable narrator—you had *one* job! 020
