Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 19/08/2026And lastly, I’m mad. Please put it in the newspaper that I’m mad. 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Big time “daughter or girlfriend” vibes at the Pavement show 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Everyone in New York right now is either a Brazilian or Norwegian tourist in for the World Cup, or a local who can’t afford a holiday weekend in the Hamptons, but can afford a brand new Knicks hat. 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Respectful Hatred should be the dumb slogan the Celtics have on their warmups for the 2027 playoffs. 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 09/06/2026The Knicks are a wonderful story with many wonderful fans, but if you’ve ever been laid off, the person ultimately responsible for that decision is at this game, in a seat more expensive than a Toyota Corolla, rooting for the Knicks. 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 17/05/2026This is exactly what happened with the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. My Dad would have LOVED to take me to a Rocky and Bullwinkle movie, but it came out when I was 24, not 9. 020
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 12/05/2026It’s nice that people are trying to turn Bluesky into early Twitter, but every engagement-bait prompt on here is like, “What’s a movie you’ve seen twice?” or “Name a woman.” 020
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 04/04/2026This would be an absolutely sick way for Jesus to come back 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 28/03/2026I follow baseball very closely and after seeing this score thought, “well, guess there are ties now.” 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 13/03/2026These are three of my favorite movies of recent years. 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 13/03/2026Utopia Parkway is The Village Green Preservation Society, only the characters are from places like Westport, Syosset and Paramus. 020
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 12/01/2026Robert Kraft sitting with the President of FIFA since Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, the Zodiac Killer, and Art the Clown from the Terrifier movies are all busy. 050
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 06/01/2026It would be cool if the high profile media members still using Twitter decided to leave *before* getting sent AI nudes of their wives and daughters, but I guess they’ll just saddle up on their last straw high horses when that inevitably goes down. 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 03/12/2025An A’s hat with a 2002 World Series patch, purchased at an MLB sample sale quite some time ago. 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 02/11/2025The Blue Jays somehow don’t know that the most terrifying phrase in baseball is “ex-Phillies reliever.” 110
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 28/10/2025At least the Mariners would be leaving people on base in these innings. 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 10/10/2025MLB closers are the only people asked to do their job in a completely different manner when it matters most. 000
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 24/08/2025If you zoom in close enough to the makeup on Trump’s hand, you can make out the “Ah, well nevertheless” tweet. 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 12/03/2025If you have far left views, Republicans will hide you in a detention center. If you have far right views, Gavin Newsom will ask you to hold that thought while he tells you how to get 25% off your first order of MeUndies. 050
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 12/01/2025media.tenor.coma man wearing glasses and a black suit is standing in front of a sign that says ' the ' on itALT: a man wearing glasses and a black suit is standing in front of a sign that says ' the ' on it 120
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 15/11/2024For those of us who found “former athletes saying random things” to be the best part of Twitter, Bluesky will just never compare. 010
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 13/11/2024Has Bluesky already made the “This Matt Gaetz news has really struck a chord, and it’s a minor” joke, or are not enough people here yet? 120
Ben Heller @benheller.bsky.social · 29/09/2023Imagine being such an insufferable piece of shit that you’ve been wearing a cowboy hat backwards for 10 years and nobody’s bothered to tell you. 030
