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Reposted by shonen protag slim pickens

Abby Howard @abbyhoward.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

Thread with a couple short scenes from a lesbian vampire story that I have kickin' around in the back of my head! This may be all that ever comes of it, but I still like em :] 1/4

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

free display names for kevins with various qualities: religious kevin: Kevin Sent chinese kevin: The Mandate of Kevin broke kevin: Pennies from Kevin sexual kevin: Penis from Kevin

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

having my instinctual dislike of someone vindicated to this degree is probably unhealthy, but I'm still chalking this one up as a win

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

Meet the Viral Patissier Some are Calling the "Croûte Goat"

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

why is everyone on bluesky so up their own ass about being on bluesky. it's just another fucking platform have you learned nothing

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

okay so, hyperthetically, [I speak several words in the secret tongue of basal truth and am flung through the ontological windshield]

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

strangely affirming to be wearing your straightest wardrobe while home for the holidays and still catch an f-slur while you're filling up the car

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

(logging off of website, blushing and scandalized) I don't think these people are actually that interested in field-effect transistors

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

why does the pledge of allegiance go so far out of its way to exclude symbolism and metonymy. "no you little bastard, you are also specifically going to obey the flag itself, in the case of any Schoolhouse Rock anthropomorphism event"

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

the retailer "Foot Locker" actually derives their name from Foucault: "Shoes serve the same social functions as prisons and mental institutions- to define, classify, control, and regulate feet."

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

Original Sin is okay but I bet there were more trees in that fuckass Garden. Cool Ranch Sin. Flamin Hot Sin. promotional Oreo-Flavored Sin

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

have not seen enough seinfeld to concoct a dialog wherein jerry and george are speculating on the identity of the gunman when kramer bursts through the door in a hooded jacket. this is left as an exercise for the reader

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

little known fact: the CEO position is generally governed by The Santa Clause rules. so guess who's in charge of United Healthcare now? thats right tim allen

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

(furiously turning off discovery channel) actually shark very strong

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

i believe the uhc ceo was killed by his younger self in a Looper type maneuver and the nypd are incapable of discovering this because no one has seen Looper and also rank incompetence

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

new york city repeats crowd members many times as an optimization and the uhc assassin made expert use of this

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 01/03/2024

I wish Tremors (1990) had been an oblique adaptation of Dune. I wish Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004) had featured kevin bacon's son as a graboid hybrid and eternal ruler of all mankind

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 30/01/2024

I have become the recipient of profane and terrible knowledge

a loading screen from Bubsy 3D for the Playstation 1

the Mr. Beast halal cart, on which Mr. Beast in a keffiyeh is gesturing at a plate of food. he has the same pose, facial expression, and general demeanor as Bubsy

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 22/10/2023

tiktok is an innovative platform that enables you to hear the first half-second of five songs hundreds of times. what WILL they think of next

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 22/10/2023

who needs BALANCE when you have BALENCIAGA (I fall down the stairs in a captivating manner)

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 22/10/2023

grimace is the last of his species, the rest having been hunted for their meat. the day you see the mcpizza return is the day a purple light has forever left this world

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shonen protag slim pickens @beef-mcgristle.bsky.social · 21/10/2023

after walking several blocks in the rain to retrieve it, have just discovered that I accidentally ordered a thin crust pizza. this enormous fucking cracker is not improved by the sense of absolute betrayal

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