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Bart King

@bartking.bsky.social
419 followers 136 following 4.5K posts

• New: “Father Humor” 🐸 • Soon: “The Mutants Take Manhattan” (a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles book for Choose Your Own Adventure) 🐢🐢🐢🐢 • “Arguably, one of Oregon’s top 73 Barts.” –Barts Weekly 🧃 bartking.net

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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Annual incomes for graduates following in my academic footsteps reflect my lifelong ability to go where the money wasn’t, isn’t, and likely won’t be tomorrow. (Consistency is the key!)
Compare earnings for your own college list
EARNINGS 
Median for all: $64,500

Sonoma State University, MAJOR history EARNINGS $56,819

San Diego State University MAJOR English/Lit EARNINGS $49,406
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
This’ll do ‘im.
Sorcerer gazes at Duo the owl trapped in an orb.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
It’s almost impossible to imagine our current WH administration keeping soldier morale high by arming them with reading material. Yet many 20th-century “families had a love of reading that stemmed from a World War II veteran who benefited from just that.”
The Man Who Fought World War Il with Books and Brought the Joy of Reading to Millions
LIBRARIAN'S WAR
MOLLY GUPTILL MANNINGAmong the most requested books was Betty Smith's
1943 novel, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." The biggest complaint was that there
weren't enough to go around. One soldier, who was reading
Plato's "Republic," asked
"what else did he write lately?"
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Seeing this DEA patch made me start a thrash metal band called Dancing With Darkness.
A colorful DEA patch with a grim reapers inn the foreground and a silhouetted crowd in the back. The patch reads "Ecstasy and Predatory Drugs" and "Dancing with Darkness"
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This is a treat preview for trick-or-treaters who go to Kash Patel's house on Halloween.
Frosted little pretzels with googly eyes in the top left and right holes.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Major General Smedley Butler (1881–1940) was a Marine Corps officer and anti-war advocate who won two Medals of Honor. He also had a notable interaction with Stonewall Jackson's buried arm. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smedley...
In 1921, during a training exercise near the Wilderness battlefield in Virginia, he was told by a local farmer that Stonewall Jackson's arm was buried nearby, to which he replied, "Bosh! I will take a squad of Marines and dig up that spot to prove you wrong!"[38] Butler found the arm in a box. He later replaced the wooden box with a metal one and reburied the arm. He left a plaque on the granite monument marking the burial place of Jackson's arm; the plaque is no longer on the marker, but it can be viewed at the Chancellorsville Battlefield visitor center.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
“Your breath! It’s so—“ “Minty?” “Not quite.”
Basementy
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This is terrorism.
TO THE EDITOR:
I would only add that if you really don't like that book, don't just put it on the DNF shelf. Rip it up - with gusto!
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
What?! But his mom famously— oh, nm
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This German joke from 1939 is disconcertingly easy to transplant to today. 
A Berliner returns home through the darkened streets.

Suddenly a voice behind him: "Halt or I shoot!" Then: "Hand over your briefcase!" 

Whereupon the greatly relieved Berliner says to the robber: "My God, you gave me a shock. I thought you were the police."
A joke going the rounds in 1939
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"Oh, you like New York Times' recipes? Then you'll want an extra-big bowl for this."
Cover of "The New York Times Natural Foods Cookbook"
by JEAN HEWITFRUIT BAT SOUP Recipe
(This soup is offered on the off-chance that a reader may find himself in Micronesia, specifically the Caroline Islands, where this is a natural, native delicacy.)
3 fruit bats, well washed but
neither skinned nor eviscerated
Water
1 tablespoon finely sliced fresh ginger
1 large onion, quartered
Sea salt to taste
Chopped scallions
Soy sauce and/or coconut cream
1. Place the bats in a large kettle and add water to cover, the ginger, onion and salt.
Bring to a boil and boil 40 minutes. Strain broth into a second kettle.
2. Take bats, skin them and discard skin.
Remove meat from' the bones and return meat, including any of the viscera fancied, to the broth. Heat.
3. Serve liberally sprinkled with scallions and further seasoned with soy sauce and/or coconut cream.
Yield: Four servings.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" wrote William Shakespeare, who was one of history's greatest authors but obviously ill-versed in public library usage. Curious! www.ft.com/content/c05f...
"Financial Times" article intro by Bill Gross:

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be," wrote William Shakespeare, who was one of history's greatest authors but obviously ill-versed in economics. Without lending or borrowing, our modern economic society wouldn't grow very much,
Al or not.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Archaeologists enjoy unlimited screen time.
Archaeologist with artifact
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"Sorry Timmy, but DOGE cuts delayed your passport's arrival. See you in two weeks! Love, Mom"
"How do I get a passport for my child?" over a photo of a forlorn boy leaning into an airport window as a jet aircraft loads passengers.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
And the worst ranked idea for improving education is: 
Allow AI use.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Finally, this is piece’s the lowest ranked and least effective idea for good reason. 
Allow AI use.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
What a great visual by Ricardo Tomás for a NY Times piece about schools.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
More like “Ooh La Nah” amirite
Sign for a decidedly wilted hosta reading “Ooh La La Hosta”
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yeah, that sounds like me.
"Disagree to all" button
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
*Flock of Seagulls voice* 🎵 “And I ran I ran so farro whey…”
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Weekend vibes, PNW.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Being married to someone with good taste = Still life happens
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Was just reminiscing with a sibling about how our family was both highbrow and downwardly mobile. For example, we kids loved playing “Upstairs, Downstairs”: “I’ll be the servant.” “No, no, *I’ll* be the servant, you be the landed gentry.” “Fine. But then I get to mismanage the estate!”
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Is this a Star Trek character or a tropical bird species? "Trogons eat small wild avocados, swallowing the fruit whole and digesting all but the woody kernel. The Trogons then regurgitate the kernel."
A trogon is a colorful tropical bird. Here's one on a branch looking awesome.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Not to be confused with Van Gogh’s “Four Sunflowers Gone to Seed.”
“Four Sunflowers Gone to Seed” painting, which is pretty much what it sounds like. 
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Not the Onion.
Alberta's self-image as world's only rat-free region shattered by discovery of rat
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
IMPORTANT: This is a pretty badass book. 
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Although little remembered today, Kaitlin's Bombardment of Times Square made headlines in 1947.
A girl wearing a helmet mimes firing an actual massive howitzer in Times Square in 1947. Three members of the military gaze on approvingly.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I’ll always remember our long talks. <sigh>
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“Olympus Has Fallen”
Our big sunflower plant fell over. 
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“I can’t believe you drove pasta that place.” 🍝
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
10/10, no notes.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
See also:
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Idaho b̶u̶l̶l̶e̶t̶ ballot just dropped.
Image of Idaho ballot reading:
Idaho Advisory Question
Which of the following guns should be designated as the state gun of Idaho?
Please choose only one answer.
Winchester Model 1894
(.30-30)
Winchester Model 1873
"Gun that Won the West" (.44-40)
1873 Colt Single Action
Army Revolver
"Peacemaker" (.45 Colt)
M1 Garand rifle (.30-06)
Colt M1911.45 automatic
Colt pistol (.45 ACP)
Remington Model 700 bolt-action rifle (.30-06)
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
“Welcome! Would you like help with math or spelling?”
"Living with addition? You have the power to change your life today."
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Quite a remarkable passage by Nat Segebre.
While I was in Sopchoppy, I asked Gary Revell, 74, why he still grunts for worms. He told me that the times he goes out at dawn in the forest behind his house, the sunlight filtering through the pines, are when he feels closest to God.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Gotta say, this isn’t exactly a “pulse-pounding” periodical.
“Heart Failure“ magazine – cover story is a beaming man saying “I see my heart failure as a gift!“
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
If you're not memorizing WWII plane and armored vehicle silhouettes, what are you even doing, bro? tinyurl.com/mmmp8pjw
WWII plane and armored vehicle silhouettes
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Sent this photo to my wife, and she said I looked a little “peaked.”
Guy wearing glasses stands in ivy-shrouded German courtyard. Behind him is a building with a peaked roof. 
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
This extraordinary map for "Moby Dick" was made in 1956 by artist Everett Henry for a *calendar*! Its caption read: “We hear the call of 'Moby Dick,' still echoing today for anyone who yearns to feel the magic and terror, the stress and calm of the sea and its ships.” blogs.loc.gov/maps/2026/09...
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Gordon Parks took this photo in Alabama in 1956. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon_...
At a takeout window for what looks like a Foster Freeze, a Black man and his three children make an order. The window is to the side of the eatery, and is marked "Colored." A window on the front of the building is marked "WHITE."
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Our “end of summer“ tomatoes are coming in great!
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I saw a butterfly on a Frank Lloyd Wright house today.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Mitch McConnell is ready to answer the call.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Lee Marvin was in many Westerns (e.g. "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance"), and I think lots of violence in the Old West could've been prevented if urban planners had just made the towns big enough for everyone.
Lee Marvin: There's not ENOUGH violence on TV!"
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
This P.G. Wodehouse book cover is *chef’s kiss*
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Hmm, the early promo shots for Denis Villeneuve's "Dune: Part Three" are not instilling confidence.
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I’m not the brightest bulb, but tulips seem like a dubious construction material. 
Shop in the Amsterdam airport that is built like a barn and named “house of tulips“
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Bart King @bartking.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Annie Dillard writing about her 1974 book, “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.”
Of particular interest were the journals in which Ms. Dillard talked herself through the fear that no one would read a book like "Tinker Creek" because it was written by a woman.
"It's impossible to imagine another situation where you can't write a book 'cause you weren't born with a penis," Ms. Dillard wrote. "Except maybe 'My Life With My Penis?"
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