barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 07/11/2025If men wrote romance books for other men: Have you been moisturising? You look younger today,” she said without a hint of irony. The comment, simple as it was, felt nice. He farted deeply and deliberately. “Good one.” She chuckled. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 27/10/2025I think I heard that crack in the ground that starts fights with people’s mothers say the same thing 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 26/10/2025Is making cartoons glamorous? Yes it is. Is all of this money and fame changing me? Well, let's just say I've nearly saved enough to go to the dentist, so… you tell me. 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 20/05/2025My tombstone will probably read something like “too smart to be a dog, too dumb to be a human.” Something like that. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 25/04/2025Living with a labrador is a lot like living with a drunk guy at a party… They’re your best friend. They’ll randomly yell at stuff. They breathe their hot, stinky breath on you when they’re telling you a story. They eat whatever’s there. They’ll crap on the floor and feel quite bad about it. 110
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 22/04/2025You gotta give them little fellas a thrill 🔥 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 22/04/2025My theory on manifestation is this: if infinite universes exist, and enough versions of ourselves are manifesting something good, then we are the positive creation of our other selves. I, however, like to imagine my other selves shitting their pants to keep them grounded. Stay humble, fools. 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 20/04/2025When your dogs find a space-cake! 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 17/04/2025Does anyone else’s wife give them the big pitch about why moving the furniture around will be good for everyone? 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 11/04/2025*Every cult leader ever* Cult leader: So what’s the core belief of our sacred new order? Guy: Uh… devotion to our divine purpose? Cult leader: No. What? No. Polygamy. That’s literally the whole point. How are you confused right now. 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 10/04/2025Two years ago I couldn’t give my plastic bags away, now when I see someone with a plastic bag I’m like “damn, how’d you get one of them?!” 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 05/04/2025I assume the best part about having a young son is someone finally thinking you’re packing a huge Hogg 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 21/03/2025Everyone makes fun of the old men posting bad selfies as profile pics but, the fact is, they’re more free than any of us. 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 12/03/2025People are more stressed nowadays because we have to return phone-calls. Back in the day, you could just say, ‘Did someone ring? I have no idea. I’ve been listening to cassettes on my Casio Walkman. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 11/03/2025I love middle eastern food. I guess you could say I’m a hummus-sexual. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 10/03/2025[Wife comes home and finds something wrecked] Me, to the dogs: Just shut up and let me do the talking... 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 06/03/2025I started working out so I’d look good if someone saw me through the crack in my blinds. My body improved, but no one was watching—so I left them open. Still nothing. Long story short, I’ve been arrested for public nudity. 020
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 05/03/2025No force on Earth is stronger than two dudes hyping each other up to do something incredibly dumb. 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 04/03/2025They say a glass of red wine a day is good for your cholesterol. Two beers can reduce the risk of heart disease. One shot of tequila will aid with digestion. Put down the fruit smoothie—you’re wasting your time. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 02/03/2025At some point when you’re living with a Labrador, you kind of accept that you’re probably eating a bunch of dog hairs every day. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 11/02/2025I’m an expert at drawing cat faces. 040
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Working hard to get that bread but it's just an end piece with freezer burn. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Dance like nobody’s laughing 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 03/02/2025Surely I’m not the only person with one of these!? 030
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 03/02/2025My dogs are pretty happy hanging around me and my dinner but not once have they offered me any of their kibble 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 01/02/2025It’s his arse, right? I bet it’s his arse. 100
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 01/02/2025I’ll remember. I think I know myself pretty well. *invents dumbest password ever.* 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Pretty sure this is how it happened… 050
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 28/01/2025Just stop and give em a little sniffy-sniff 030
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 25/01/2025That’s me and the crew watching the Flintstones after a fatty 110
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 25/01/2025Serious people: Pen ink should be either blue or black. Me: Can I borrow your pen? A duck ran off with mine. 000
Reposted by @barelybakedbeans.bsky.socialNJ Creepshow @njcreepshow.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Who are cool/funny/webcomic people to follow on here? Check out these boyz: @glasshousescomics.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @realfunghicomics.bsky.social @mooseylips.bsky.social @begentleimstupid.bsky.social 263
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 23/01/2025This guy has bad taste! Get him! 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 23/01/2025He-he you see, this is playing on the trope of "real men" being stoic or unflinching, juxtaposed with the inherently painful and somewhat absurd image of waxing a sensitive area. The humour lies in the exaggeration and the unexpectedness of the situation being held as a "test" of masculinity. 010
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Real men don’t wince when they wax their balls. 110
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 22/01/2025It’s when they ask you to listen to their “two other funny dentists” podcast that you want to consider your options. 1357
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Dogs are like “dang, that spot in the grass smells weird. I better roll in it to be safe…” 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 14/01/2025Don’t even get me started on when the microwave starts yelling at me… 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 11/01/2025People think I’m weird when I’m having conversations with my dogs but we think that they’re the weird ones. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 10/01/2025That other trick looks pretty good too tho… 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 04/01/2025If you aren’t imagining that there’s a little fireman inside you releasing a fire hydrant with one of them big wrenches when you pee, what are doing? 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 03/01/2025Maybe he’ll have more success with the trunk full of hooves at the glue factory. 000
barelybakedbeans.bsky.social @barelybakedbeans.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Child me would be very disappointed in my adult cake preferences. Sorry, kid, but carrot cake’s not that bad. 000
