iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Don't forget to get ur state-mandated Orange Trauma Donut from ur local Timothy Hortons™️

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Besides the few events that actually feel like community healing and not just more labour we have to perform.... but even just getting to and from those events is so daunting it often doesn't even feel worth it

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The coolest thing about the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation is how quickly they made it so that almost every Indigenous person either has to work or wants to stay home all day to avoid everything

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Yesterday my best friend knew I was going thru it so they came by after work. They brought me raspberries, peaches, and bananas. They were like, "every time I bring you fresh fruit, it makes you cry" lmaooo My ancestors just appreciate u sharing a bountiful harvest, homie 😭

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I found this incredible, teeny tiny fossil of a fish's fin today, though. It's not all bad. There is so much beauty.

A small stone on a pebble beach. On the stone is the fossilized imprint of a fish's fin.

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I know it helps if I share more and more details about how shit my life is, but I'm just so exhausted. Just know that things are so fucked, I made a psychiatrist cry by sharing just one (1) single event that happened to me. So trust it's hard as hell, and I'm doing the best I can.

The medical stuff alone has been non-stop, painful, slow, and I've learned I have a chronic degenerative soft tissue disorder. I find out in a couple weeks if I need surgery. I'm trying so hard to keep fuckin going but.... like. How??! People like me aren't supposed to, but I WANT to so badly

I'm so determined to persist!!!! But it's getting so fucking hard. This year has met me with so many tragedies. I've lost so many loved ones. I would love to rest someday. I don't see that happening in my future, but the idea is nice anyways

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Pay Beads Against Fascism using PayPal.Me

I'm short on rent for this upcoming month, and my phone is 🤏🏼 this close to breaking, which will cut me off from all sources of income (besides my disability assistance). I spent the last two days basically sleeping. If anyone can help, I could really use it. Mîkwêc. PayPal.me/beadsagainst...

paypal.me

Go to paypal.me/BeadsAgainstFascism and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

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Pay Beads Against Fascism using PayPal.Me

paypal.me

Go to paypal.me/BeadsAgainstFascism and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

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BeadsAgainstFascism @baf.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

It rained a bunch yesterday for the first time in over a month— turns out it was a gory fish fest at the water 😅 it was definitely eerie though, big time

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BeadsAgainstFascism @baf.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

I've seen turkey vultures gather in numbers before, but only once, and about half as many. It was around a railroad track, so I called them because there was definitely something Big and Dead on the tracks. They called me back a bit later; it was a fatass raccoon eeeee RIP 😅

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BeadsAgainstFascism @baf.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

I'm back home on the east coast right now. Went for a lil trek down to the cove, and there are at least 2 dozen hawks and turkey vultures circling in silence 👀 I've never seen this many together at once... not hawks at least 💀 keeping my eyes open for whatever died around here, holyyyy

A photo taken straight upwards towards the sky. The sun is visible at the edge of the photo, and the sky is a mix of sun and clouds. There are tree branches visible around the edges. In the open sky in the middle, there are at least 8 hawks and turkey vultures seen circling above.

A photo taken straight upwards towards the sky, which is a mix of sun and clouds. There are tree branches visible around the edges. In the open sky in the middle, there are at least 14 hawks and turkey vultures seen circling above.

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I hope to be back to beads in my fullest capacity soon!! Thank yous all for bearing with me!! It's been an honestly pretty brutal time, but I can see a lil light at the end of the tunnel ✨️ Ki ci mîkwêc for sticking around through all this ❣️

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2. I am absolutely still doing beadwork!! ❤️‍🔥 There were large periods of time where it wasn't possible for me to do for a while, but I'm doing all my physio stuff to keep my tendons and ligaments healthy, and I conveniently broke my non-dominant wrist 😅

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All this to say: 1. If you paid and you're still waiting for your red umbrella beadwork, it's still coming your way, and I am SO sorry for the massive delay!! If you hadn't paid yet but were in line, I'm so sorry, but I need to take a break from these for a little while ❤️‍🩹

I decided that I'll be finishing the orders for folks who have already paid (I have 3 pins left to do), and then I'll be taking a break from the red umbrellas for a time. My apologies to those who wanted to make an order— I hope to pick it back up at a later date.

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I got, obviously, majorly delayed on this fundraiser— world and life things altered drastically not long after I started the fundraiser, and I then had a series of health issues and injuries that have made it inexcusably slow.

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I've been asked a few times if I'm still doing beadwork 😅 the answer is a resounding YES! I haven't posted about it much because I've still been working on the orders for the @/maggiestoronto.bsky.social fundraiser I did, so I haven't made anything besides red umbrellas in a long time.

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Nothing yet... I'm sorry to ask again, but I have to. If anyone is in the position to help, I would appreciate it more than I could ever tell you.

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Nothing yet... I'm sorry to ask again, but I have to. If anyone is in the position to help, I would appreciate it more than I could ever tell you.

It's an honour when you find an author (and narrator) whose work changes you into a Before and an After every single time you read their work. What a beautiful and incredible thing, to be changed by art like that. What a gift to receive, becoming a better person through reading a book. 💕

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Whoops, I wasnt very clear on the themes lollll The book (in the setting and dialogue) talks about the threat of AI to art more broadly, and narration/performing audiobooks more specifically. Although that specific motif is pretty dark, it's some very interesting art-life-art levels stuff being done

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I can't sing her praises highly enough, though. If you ever listen to any audiobook she narrates, you'll understand what I mean. She narrates her own book (the one mentioned above), and it is a *masterclass*. AI could literally NEVER do what she does. She's phenomenal.

In fact, Julia Whelan has an amazing novel called 'Thank You For Listening'— a romance novel that follows an audiobook narrator— that touches on so many of these exact themes, as she is a (world-class, imho) audiobook narrator in real life, herself (in addition to being an author, of course)

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My first time hearing it**. I'm sure it's been done. I just read a lot of audiobooks, and this was a new release that had this included at the end, and it was my first time hearing it. Like any art, no machine could replace the incredible talent and skill that goes into good narration

Side note: Julia Whelan is the best audiobook narrator in the world, hands-down. And if you read anything Emily Henry writes, you will be forever (positively) changed by how you view people and your relationships w others. You'd also have to actively try to not be a more compassionate person after

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I finished an audiobook today, and it was the first time, at the end when they share the copyright info, that they included a piece about that audiobook being prohibited from being used to train AI. It made me simultaneously glad and sad. Glad they're protecting their work, and sad that they have to

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And, ideally, while minimizing the harm done to my body in the process. I would give anything to be able to rest. Anyways. Once again baring my soul in a really humiliating way to thousands of strangers in the hopes for help. Any and all is deeply appreciated. Ki ci mîkwêc.

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But I'll never be healed. It's degenerative. And the government tells all disabled people we aren't allowed to survive, let alone actually *live*. I'm working on next steps for my future, because I desperately want to live. But I need to make sure I can survive first—

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And a lot of people simply do not understand the reality or the severity of tendon/ligament/soft tissue damage. You can't recover from it 100%. I have tendinitis all through my body. If given the chance to rest, I could ease the inflammation from the acute flare in my right arm—

I think I find out Tuesday a bit more about the soft tissue damage and tendinitis in my right arm. My doctor called me when she got the MRI results and told me that if I wasn't already in a cast for my broken wrist, I'd be in a cast and sling for the other tissue damage—

I was told by my doctors I'm not supposed to lift more than 5lbs with my right hand since March. I moved apartments in that time frame, I have to get groceries and other necessities— it just hasn't been possible, and it's done me so much (potentially permanent) harm.

I hate the idea of using Sheila's passing for my own benefit in any way. I miss her so much. Losing her has been awful. And trying to do life stuff with a broken wrist and acute tendinitis while still trying to get fully moved into my apartment has been... well, not possible.

Pay Beads Against Fascism using PayPal.Me

I'm a broke, disabled, queer, trans Cree person who's been through some awful stuff and really hard times lately— grieving a friend's passing, dealing with multiple acute injuries plus a new chronic condition... PayPal.me/beadsagainstfascism

paypal.me

Go to paypal.me/BeadsAgainstFascism and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

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BeadsAgainstFascism @baf.bsky.social · 14/07/2025

Throwing this out there into the world, in case it's of interest to anyone (It should be) www.sproutdistro.com/catalog/zine...

sproutdistro.com

De-Arrest Primer Zine

Anarchist zine distro with PDF zines and pamphlets on anarchism, direct action, tactics, etc.

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BeadsAgainstFascism @baf.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

An Eastern Tailed-Blue butterfly was fluttering around me while I was sitting in the park today, and I know it was Sheila saying hello 🦋 I'm glad you're safe and okay, my wonderful friend. Thank you for checking in on me. 💙 We miss you so much over here.

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BeadsAgainstFascism @baf.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

I swear I fall in love about a hundred times a day. With people, places, experiences, things... all of it. My heart is permanently open and I wouldn't have it any other way. Life is so beautiful, and all we have is all we have.

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It's not going to stop, though, because my brother still has terminal cancer. I wonder if I'll still have the boots

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I don't know what my point is. I don't really have one, except that it doesn't make any fuckin sense who leaves this world and who gets to stay, and I need people I love to stop dying. I love you all and I am so, so tired. Please.

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The boots have had more than 1/4 of the years Sheila had on this earth. The boots are just under 1/2 as old as my friend who passed in January, and they're a little bit older than her daughter.

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