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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If Democrats had the wit to make fun of Republican election hype, they'd hire a bunch of well-dressed white people, then film them driving in a column of late-model sedans to the Canadian border, gripping Amex platinum cards and offering all of their vacation money as a means of abject apology.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Brown people are coming. They are coming for your jobs. They will be sleeping in your guest room. They will piss on your lawn. They will steal all your shit and sell scary drugs. The brown people are going to run amok and ruin everything. Oh wait. There's an election coming up. Never mind.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Election balloting can be ornate and complex, but I've checked with the League of Women Voters and in every state, it is permissible to take a guide into the voting booth with you. I hope this can be of some assistance:

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

LINCOLN wishes he had these numbers. WASHINGTON couldn't have them. To have numbers like these, you have to be a VERY STABLE GENIUS who KNOWS MORE ABOUT BUSINESS AND THE ECONOMY THAN ANYONE. ALSO, MY PENIS is VERY LARGE, not MUSHROOM-SHAPED and MY FATHER LOVED ME AND KNEW I WAS GREAT.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Fuck what you pay for gas. Fuck the cost of whatever uninspected, adulterated meat you put on your table. Fuck your displeasure in our war. Fuck your medical and nutritional benefits that we needed to spend on that war. We're Republicans and we are governing, goddammit. And we are right on point:

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

We need to listen to this fellow. His research into the sexuality of minors has been precise and comprehensive. His naked concern on such matters has been long evident.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

This is bait. I am not falling for it. When the internet throws this sort of thing out as a straight line, a true sportsman lowers his weapon and waits for a better class of wild game to saunter into his gunsight.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This man is entirely fecal. There is nothing about him or his works that isn't utterly shit. And we elected him to lead our nation twice.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Reasons to know Trump is lying: 1) He is communicating. 2) If data centers are a geographic benefit to communities, you can be sure they'd be siting and building them in affluent and politically connected environs. Curiously, they're dumped in poorer, less influential places. Go fucking figure.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

A grown-up replies to the American president. That there is still a third of the our citizenry that supports Donald Trump and his ridiculous, infantile tantrums says everything about the decline of our national ethos. We will not shake off the humiliation for generations, if ever.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

This guy gave the O's some of his best years in some of their leanest and then he did something more inspirational. I'm thinking Baltimore or Baltimore County can find a Mancini Street somewhere on its roadmap. Will do my part wearing this heirloom to the Yards for seasons to come. Thank you, Trey.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Traveling through Downeast Maine and making sure to pay respects and throw a Kaddish or two for a couple real ones. These are hard times. We need to remember our heroes.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

He's right. One-hundred percent of the Republican primaries concluded with Republicans emerging victorious. And using Mr. Trump's math, the percentage is actually far higher than that.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Fellow Americans, behold the United States President, opining with all the maturity, dignity and splendor of his high office:

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Boy, oh boy are the Iranians screwed. It's a well-known diplomatic certitude that the 67th threat a head of state publicly posts against an adversary is the one that they ought to fear. I mean, if their civilization hasn't already been leveled and their military obliterated, as promised previously.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Trump is precise here. Although Harold II sought to blame Trotskyite revisionists within the ranks for his defeat at Hastings, it was shrewd Norman capital investment and the resulting industrial innovations -- including overwhelming air superiority -- that proved decisive for William the Conqueror.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Not to go all literary and shit, but the parade of Republicans claiming to chat with Mitch McConnell brings to mind Henry IV and Owen Glendower's boast that he can summon spirits from the "vasty deep." Hotspur in reply: "Why so can I or so can any man. But will they come when you do call for them?"

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

That's great. We spoke as well and he expressed real regret for not driving a stake through Donald Trump and saving the republic when he had the chance. It took a while for him to say so as one blink meant yes, two meant no, and several in rapid succession meant Scott Jennings is a lying asshole.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

An old police reporter today takes a slight detour in St. Louis to visit the resting place of one of the true OG's of Jewish gangsterdom. And yes I threw Charlie a quick Kaddish. IYKYK.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

If it were a tan suit, they'd have thrown their outrage across the front page for a week.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

After personally leading the Knicks to the NBA championship, seducing the prime minister of Italy and winning the war with Iran, you are the greatest president ever, sir.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Among Maryland folk, this calls to mind Mayor William Donald Schaefer's 1981 kept promise to swim in the seal tank if Baltimore's new aquarium didn't open on schedule. A genuinely ineloquent politician, Schaefer had a LaGuardian charm to him nonetheless. Mamdani moreso, but with lethal eloquence.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Repatriation of the family by Ms. Jacks today. I have it on good authority that at least one of the ducklings bears my name. Possibly several. If so, they will be remembered in my will, of course. I am, as ever, a giver.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

It's that time of year again on the Simon porch. Five years now and running. And yes, this is the moment in late spring or early summer where I always feel as if my life is being scripted by David Chase, albeit without a particularly interesting mid-life crisis that hurls me into psychotherapy.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

We elected this unrestrained, delusional, ass-ignorant brat to the United States presidency twice. Our republic is tragedy and farce.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

A clean, cogent argument can be made that while there are a great many accomplices involved, three men are predominantly responsible for the end of the American Century and the collapse of our republic: Newt Gingrich, Rubert Murdoch and Mark Burnett. I'm not here to argue, only to mourn.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

No bread though. Inflation being what it is.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Just spitballing now, but perhaps twice electing a second-tier carnival barker to lead our republic for eight years was not, in fact, the wisest path forward for a nation.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

No way. Using military force to butcher civilians without due process in or over international waters is subject to legal indictment and prosecution? Which politicians and admirals will we be extraditing to Venezuela, Colombia and Mexico?

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

Ok, for those of us watching the republic implode and keeping a list of all those complicit, this is now pornography:

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

A first thought is that this hollowed-out, fading old crank needs to be in assisted living. A second thought is that having surrounded himself with an adiministration servile, ass-licking sycophants. the White House is, in fact, an assisted living facility.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Keeping this handy to reply to any shitheel who frets about the number of American crazies who take potshots at Trump and suggest it's Democrats who need to tone down the rhetoric. Trump is fascist, racist, misogynistic, corrupt, vulgarian and submoronic. I do hope he dies of a cheeseburger only.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

In the event the Iranian negotiators are all 11-year-old boys who have supped heavily on Nintendo, we are going to quickly resolve this heedless, disastrous war. Otherwise, no. This is not going to impress any grown-ups engaged.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

"As everyone knows, I am an extraordinarily brilliant person..." This hollow motherfucker. There's nothing inside but doubt, fear and rage. He lays down in the dark and knows he's a moronic, posturing shit. And every morn begins an epic battle to convince everyone otherwise. It's mental illness.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

Caught Bruce Springsteen's homecoming show in Newark last night, part of a tour designed as a musical cavalcade of protest against the rise of American authoritarianism. I have to say that as a brash and sincere act of dissent, it was one of the most genuinely patriotic things I've witnessed.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

On this Jackie Robinson Day, a brief, familial humblebrag: My father was the PIO for a Jewish nonprofit that honored Robinson at a 1960s dinner. And Bernie Simon would not come home that night without photographic proof for my older brother. Gary Simon, an Ebbets Field regular, was properly awed.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

The President of the United States posted this. That he will continue in office affirms that we are unfit to govern ourselves and our American experiment has failed. Too many of us are too stupid, cowardly and damaged to be citizens of a republic, let alone our elected representatives.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

My kingdom to the first reporter with proximity to Donald Trump who stares into his hollow, soulless eyes and asks him: "What the fuck do you think the Pope's job is?" And at this point in the history of the American republic, or wht remains of it, the profanity is required.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

As soon as you have the pepper spray in hand and at ready.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 05/04/2026

25th Amendment. Articles of Impeachment. Now. What the hell else do you gutless, partisan fools need to see happen? What elze does he need to say? What else?

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

As an American, there are always disappointments to register and arguments to engage; amid the chaos of our battered, monied attempt at self-governance, dissent is constant. But this feeling of being utterly ashamed of America and embarrassed to the core by its president is new, raw and unnerving.

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

Daughter, 15, is home from school today with a stomach bug. Mid-day attempt to rise from bed, shower, dress, and cover some homework for class tomorrow. And then the following:

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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 23/03/2026

Fuck that. A statue of her father, Mayor Tommy "The Elder" D'Alesandro already sits (and stands) gazing over Charles Plaza, where he began Baltimore's downtown revival. Sometimes, a political leader does right by people. Sometimes not. It's up to us to discern.

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