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LIZ

@assertiveotter.bsky.social
20 followers 38 following 25 posts
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Reposted by LIZ
Tom Scocca @tomscocca.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Who even hates the Bills that much? It is a suffering brought forward out of deep time by the Old Gods, suffering not compassed by any mere human spite or schadenfreude, but immense—implacable—indifferent—and whose meaning is its meaninglessness.
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
bring your creature into your wife’s place of work day and he’s so excited he almost makes you drop the two seasonal oatmilk lattes you drove 20 minutes to acquire
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
It’s a little cramped, but it’s fine
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
missing her (the A’ja your car’s small commercial)
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
when electric feel comes on at the brewery as you’re day drinking
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
lost my mind last night thanks hacks
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 18/05/2025
Become ungovernable
Baco runs around our garden with a cornhole bag that definitely belongs on the board
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Literally invisible improvements in this portion of the yard and this lady has given us effusive compliments every time she sees us in the yard.
The back corner of our yard with new tree saplings, which are nearly invisible, due to their small size and background of the wood fence.
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Planted all our new native tree and bush sapling, which as you can see look like glorified sticks and immediately got praise from our next door neighbor. No one hypes us up like her. Living on a street full of retired people is the best thing that could’ve happened to us.
New tree sapling (aka what looks like a small stick) in a mound of dirt with not quite enough rocks surrounding it to make a border
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
how it feels to a drink a Dr Pepper zero
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
at a brewery and they have on music that I can only describe as songs that played on the school bus in 2004
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
my wife when my brain decides it’s time to go off the fucking deep end on a piece of media we were casually consuming together up until that point:
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
When will my moms return from war (picking up my poops in the backyard)
Baco, a black and white dog, looks forlornly out of a back door. Only his head is visible through the glass.
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
three different varieties of Dr pepper in the fridge just trying to survive
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Discontinued FoOoOods! 👻🎃 @discontinuedfoods.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
This is ideal can design. You may not like it, but this what peak performance looks like
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
staying up till 2am every Thursday night to watch severance and then yellowjackets, a little anxiety night as a treat
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
just finished the latest episode of severance and oh my god cobel serving cataclysmic levels of cunt in that last scene
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
episode 8 severance spoilers no context
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
ordered custom blinds today and felt very like a Real Adult ™
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
planning a gourmet menu for my wife for valentines
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
In the new neighborhood, we’ve now seen skunks, foxes, deer, hawks, rabbits, raccoons, and a bald eagle (first time I’ve seen one in the wild)!
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
me still watching sister wives after all these years
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
my favorite part of going to the drive in is this ancient meme
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
not to dyke out but I bought a magnetized level and I’m obsessed with it
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
day 3 of the kitchen remodel: heating up queso in the instapot in a little aluminum foil bowl
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
garlic planting day!
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phelca.bsky.social @phelca.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
Today is the beginning of our kitchen remodel 🫣😬
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 07/11/2024
monster and a chocolate chip muffin save me, save me monster and a chocolate chip muffin
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LIZ @assertiveotter.bsky.social · 07/11/2024
finally kicking Twitter for good so when you’re here you’re here I guess
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